alternatives to returning to work??

[happymum85]

My DD is currently 7 and a half months old. I've been on ML since June last year and am due to return in June this year. I cannot tell you how much I am dreading it! I love looking after my baby and can't imagine leaving her with someone else while i go back to a job i do purely for the money (and not very much of it either!). Secretly I've been telling myself right throughout my maternity leave that i won't be going back, that we can survive without my income but hadn't spoken these words to DH. So last night we had "the talk". I was so nervous which is absurd as we talk openly about everything, but for some reason i was scared he would think i was trying to get out of doing any work (cos being at home with a baby all day is plain sailing as you all know ) So i asked if he thought we'd be able to manage without me returning to work and he said no and explained that we needed my income to sustain our current standard of living as well as meet our mortgage repayments. My heart sank. Now what?! He did suggest perhaps becoming a childminder and then i could stay at home and earn money. but i've only just got the hang of taking care of one child. i am NOT ready to throw another few into the equation. so i've been racking my brains all day trying to come up with ways of earning money from home.

I guess after all that I'm asking if anyone has any ideas, or, even better, success stories, of how to earn an income while taking care of my daughter myself?

Sorry for the long speel - this is my first post. i aim to get better at it, i promise!

yeah, I wish I'd continued working but it wasn't down to me unfortunately.

Can you negotiate part time?

But you're not talking about staying off work forever - just for a short period while your DD is little and needs you at home. Saving money every month can wait for a while surely? Your DH needs to understand that DD will only be little for a short time and she needs you now!

yeah i am only talking in the short term and my job is only 32 hours a week so no pension or anything to consider, portofino. got pregnant with DD just after graduating from uni so hadn't managed to secure a career yet. for this reason i don't see a problem (other than having to tighten our belts) with me taking a break from work. i'm not walking away from a career, just postponing getting one for a few years.

obviously it's something that DH and i will discuss more before the time comes when i would have to hand in my notice if that's what we decide on. hopefully i can help him see that we will not be destitute- just have to put off saving for a few years! imo as long as we're not eating into our savings, putting extra money away can wait til DD is a little older and i get myself a career!

thanks for all the input. i'm new to mumsnet and i'm surprised at how good it feels to share concerns and get some honest opinions. i'll def be back!

How big is your house and do you live in an attractive city? I take in foreign students they stay between 1 and 4 weeks and I cook them dinner. Some months I make up to £1125 and have zero childcare costs. Doesnt work for everyone - the way our house is set up they are pretty self contained so we only really see them for the evening meal. It wouldnt work for everyone but works for us at the moment.

You want to look at the bigger picture - do you want more children, what sort of work might you be looking for when they are older? Will you need a bigger house and more income to finance it? Would you then be competing with new graduates, but unable to commit to fulltime hours? Or might your previous company take you back since they like you even if you didn't stay on their books? It's worth trying to keep some options open if you can.

Looking after your own children when they are small is nothing to apologise for, it's great for them and good childcare is expensive for babies. Most families have a few years of belt-tightening when the children are very small but it needn't be for ever, they do grow up surprisingly fast.

I gave up work for 6.5 years until my three dcs started school, then I went back part time.

Yes, our standard of living dropped; fewer holidays, meals out etc., and we had to delay upsizing our house, but that's what we had saved our money for! Taking a career break to be with my children was the "rainy day", and I don't regret it for one minute.

You only get this time in your life once, so don't be so quick to pass up the opportunity.

Obviously if it is clear after a few months that your finances are in trouble, you can always go back to work, nothing is set in stone. Or you might find that there are things such as Phoenix, Usborne etc. that will help you fill the time and earn a little money for treats.

You will manage, honestly.

thanks CointreauVersial. that brought a tear to my eye. We WILL manage

Have you considered both you and your dh working part-time (or dh doing compressed hours over 4 days)? That's what dh and I have done. I know it doesn't work out for everyone but it's worth looking at the possibility. We both do 3 days and my mum helps out out the extra day, I'm lucky in that my job is from home and is flexible so can cover times where dh has to do extra work, or my mum's not available. Our youngest is off to school this year and we'll continue with 3 days each while also building up other work in the other days.

We've both loved our time with the children and I feel they have benefited too. It hasn't all been plain sailing - neither of our jobs are the kind you can just go home and forget about and we've both followed up short-term opportunities when they've arisen which has meant a lot of juggling at times but it's worth it on the whole!

Ooo, veering off point slightly, but BadPoet, My DH and I are considering doing exactly what you've described; ie both of us working PT. DH currently PT and I'm FT.

How do you find it? Do you not worry that you are both losing out on promotion prospects (or are you not in those kind of jobs)?

Suzihaha - we are not really in those sort of jobs, but certainly I feel as if I've been treading water these past few years and dh has been able to develop his career more - just because the (paid!) opportunities have come his way and due to the flexible nature of my job he can take advantage of them.

Having said that though, I've been on a few training courses paid for by work which assist in my current job but which I think are going to lead to a new career for me, so I am very grateful for that. I am going to hang on to my job and do it for as long as I can as well.