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Original poster

Thinking about leaving job

13 replies

smerchant · 21/02/2011 14:33

Hi,
I am working full time with 2 days from home and 3 days in office. I have two children, elder one is 3.5 (will be starting reception this sept) and younger one is 2 yrs old. My children goto nursery 3 full days while i am at work. I do all the pick ups and drop offs as my husband works in the city and he cannot manage that.

Inspite of being working from home 2 days , i still feel i cannot give attention and love to my children. I am thinking of quitting and taking a break for 2 yrs until both of my children are at school. I am hoping (rather expecting) that once they are at school, i can get some part time job.
I feel that my children really need me and they would love to be home with me.

The question in my mind is that i have a very well paid job and my boss is very flexible like he has agreed to 2 days workign from home. In future also i think i will not have issues if i want to change my hours or go part time etc. But recently i am feeling very guilty about not being able to give enugh time or attention to my children and i want to sit at home and want to enjoy their childhood.

Money wise my husband earns enough and i have this option of sitting at home if i want without compromisnig on our every day luxuries. I work because i like to work but since last few months i am feeling very guilty that i leave my kids and goto work. also money wise all i get paid is gone in childcare and cleaner costs.
I was continuing to work because in the long run (when they would goto school) i would save money when i will no longer be paying high nursery costs.

I am not able to enjoy my work as much as i used to do. Am i silly that in this time of recession i am quiting a stable job and thinking about this.

Please share your experiences.
thanks,

OP posts:
hairylights · 21/02/2011 16:05

Why don't you ask if you can do three days a week? Best of both worlds.

Personally i wouldn't want to give up work completely for several reasons:

It gives you autonmy and independent
It sets a good example to your kids (ie: you can be a good mum and work)
It keeps your hand in for the future
It contributes to the household income

I'm unclear though, are your kids at home while you are working at home? If you are working, who is looking after them?

Galdem · 21/02/2011 16:08

I wouldn't leave a job that is well paid and with a boss who is as flexible and accommodating as yours sounds. No way! Like gold dust!

If you step out of this job it is basically like saying that you don't want to work again, because it is highly unlikely you will find such a great deal elsewhere, particularly in this climate. Why not negotiate going part-time, instead?

Original poster
smerchant · 21/02/2011 16:38

I have a baby sitter who looks after kids when i am working from home. so eveb though i am home, i am not actually with my kids.

OP posts:
Original poster
smerchant · 21/02/2011 16:42

The reason i dont want part time is my job is very hectic and comes with great stress. I am development team lead and i am responsible for projects worth hunderds of thousands pounds! When i come back from work, i am so exhausted that i do not have any energy to do house hold chores and play with kids. I feel like i am always juggling kids, house and work and i dont have any time.

OP posts:
hairylights · 21/02/2011 16:54

Still don't get it. If your employer employs you five days per week, it means the job needs doing five days per week. They would presumably get someone else in to cover the other two days.

By going part time, you wouldn't have the full-time responsibility/workload.

That way the stress would be shared.

KCS · 21/02/2011 22:18

Hi,

IMO if you don't really need the money, then go for it and ditch the job. As you said, it's only for a few years until they are at school. The early years just fly by and they will never come again. Why spend the next few years stressed and tired if you don't need to? You are in a lucky position, so take advantage of this wonderful opportunity.

By the sounds of it, you will find good employment again when the time comes.

Sometimes priorities change. Your instincts are to put the kids first. I honestly can't see what else is more important than that really if money isn't an issue.

Good luck!

fluffles · 21/02/2011 22:25

if i were you i'd go part-time IF you can get a job-share partner in.

clearly part-time working where the work just piles up when you're not there is NOT an option.

why not speak to your boss or HR about getting advertising for a job-share partner..? if no suitable candidate applies you can review your decision.

wildspinning · 22/02/2011 19:23

You say "The question in my mind is that i have a very well paid job and my boss is very flexible like he has agreed to 2 days workign from home. In future also i think i will not have issues if i want to change my hours or go part time etc."

If you think your boss will let you work part-time in the future, why not now? IMO a step down from responsibility now to give you the chance to spend more time with your little kids will enable you to keep your hand in. You can then increase your responsibility again once they're older.

Best of luck.

schroedingersdodo · 23/02/2011 09:32

i would try part time and if it didn't work, leave the job. You're lucky to have the option.

I've just left a flexible job to go freelance. The example i want to give to my children is: "have your priorities clear and don't sell your soul for a job. You're better than that"

schroedingersdodo · 23/02/2011 10:48

i would try part time and if it didn't work, leave the job. You're lucky to have the option.

I've just left a flexible job to go freelance. The example i want to give to my children is: "have your priorities clear and don't sell your soul for a job. You're better than that"

Original poster
smerchant · 23/02/2011 14:34

thanks for all your replies. I have decided that i will leave the job and take a break for couple of years. After few years when my kids are in school then i will look for part time job. At this point, i feel my kids are my priority and though i am grateful for the flexibility provided by my boss, i still feel my kids come first and if i can afford it then why not.

thanks again for all the replies and suggestions :)

OP posts:
KCS · 23/02/2011 17:31

Good decision! I'm about to do the same Smile. They will be older before we know it and won't need us so much, but for now let's enjoy them while we can.

We are lucky though. I realise that. I know not everyone can do it, so I'm counting my blessings.

Original poster
smerchant · 23/02/2011 23:17

thanks for sharing KCS. Yes we are lucky that we have this option.

OP posts:
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