Does anyone work closely with clients? PCN? Prison officers? I need advice

[MrsVidic]

Hi I have started a new role as a deputy mgr in sheltered accommodation for homeless/ ex offender/ care leavers place. I love my job and I am really good at turning round young people and getting them to engage. However I keep getting unwanted attention from a few of the residents ( I am not out but I'm 4 months pregnant also it would be completely unacceptable and I'm not interested period). However I am starting to feel more and more uncomfortable with the comments. I have distanced myself and explained it's unacceptable but I'm worrying it's something I'm doing to warrant it.

For example I went in last night for a few hours to hold a residents meeting and I heard the guy and some of his peers talking about what they want to do to me.

I have just started the post and dont want to look out of my depth but I feel arrogant for bringing it to my boss.

W w y d

Oh I forgot to add I have already mentioned this to my boss, but it has got worse. I really am torn between wanting the behaviour to stop but I don't want the guy to be evicted as he would end up on the streets

It's a power and control issue - you are in a position of power, and he is seeking to belittle you. If you are embarrassed or intimidated, he is the one in control, IYSWIM. You have to nip it in the bud. If you have already raised the issue with him, and he is continuing to behave in this manner, you have to take official steps - otherwise he will undermine you with other residents. As for worrying about whether he will be evicted, well, that is within his control, he can stop his behaviour. His behaviour and its consequences are not your responsibility, they are his, and he is not going to successfully integrate into community while he continues to behave this way.

If it was me, (and I don't experience in this line of work, but work in a male dominated environment - have experienced this sort of thing before) - I would address the issue very directly. I would confront the guy (possibly with your manager for support - remember you are vulnerable / hormonal) and ask him to explain his comments, ask why he said it etc and tell him it is unacceptable and outline what steps you intend to take if it (or anything similar) happens again.

Grandhighpoohba is right - this is a power struggle. You need to let him know ASAP it is unacceptable - if you don't it will get worse.

You aren't doing anything to warrant it - well, you would know.

Ask your boss if they have a specific policy on how to deal with this tYpe of behaviour. Dealing with it is the professional thing to do and your boss will recognise that.

The "main offender" needs to be confronted, possibly by the centre manager rather than you.

It is OK to say "please don't talk like that, it is out of order" but don't end up feeling you are on your own with it.

You need to deal with it and stamp it out. Inform your manager and see what he/she suggests. Do this regardless of whether you choose to get support from your manager with dealing with this situation, or deal with alone. You need to make sure the issue is logged early on to protect yourself.

Peronally, I would say outright next time you overhear these comments: 'Please don't talk in that way about me or any other female. If you do it again, you will be jeopradising your place on this programme / in this hostel etc' (sorry, don't know exactly what setting you are working in?).

Don't ignore it, though. It is absolutely vital that you send a strong message that you won;'t accepot any fucking about.

I worked with young offenders for several years, btw.