Travel abroad

[bonkers20]

My son is nearly 2. I work 3 or 4 days a week.
He is breastfed.
I returned to work when he was 9 months old.
I have missed two meetings in the US since I've been back at work. Now the big boss has asked that I make a trip to LA this year to do some work.

My DH is NOT a baby person. I knew this and accepted it and we're fine. It might not be perfect but it's the way it is. He'll come into his own when DS is older (we also have a nearly 12 year old), but we are not there yet. I have a meeting in May next year and that was my aim, DS will be just over 3 then.

I know I can easily say that I'm not ready to travel, but I'm struggling to see how this might look from their point of view.

Should I make more effort to go or is it reasonable to say I'm not ready?

Cheers.

Ribena said "If not, why are you assuming it's fair for you to do more of the childcare? The reason that's common is because often the mother takes a part time job and the father remains full time."

You really think that when both parents are working, they split the childcare equally (or proportionally)? Do you read the papers? Women still do the majority of the housework and childcare even if they are working. And even if men are taking care of kids, often it's to do the fun stuff.

I've never said my situation is fair, I've explained how it is.

trixymalixy: I trust him. 100%. He just can't contemplate sole care for a toddler for nearly a week.

I'm actually going to discontinue this chat as I've realised I need to talk to people who know me and my family better. It's too complicated.

You've given me lots of things to think about though, so thanks.

I didn't say that parents split childcare equally.

But what I was saying is that many families set up their family lives so that the mother works part time and the father full time, and that obviously has an inpact on how childcare is split. Where a family has two parents working part time, that is most often because both parents take a more active role in childcare.

I was just struggling to understand why your DH is part time if he doesn't do childcare either. That's obviously your matter, and I really don't care how you run your family life, but you seem to be using your DH's preferences as a lot of the reasoning why you can't do the travel, so I thought it was interesting he works part time too.

As I said, your business, if you don't want to explain then don't.

OP, do you have job security? Do you think you could be penalised in any way by your employer if you work to contract but not more - it seems like your employer wants you to do a little more - to step up, so to speak. If you do not do this, could your job or career be at risk?

OP here. I will go to the meeting and DS will stay with my sister for the duration. Sorted.
I'm now feeling quite excited about going (I get to watch back to back films on the fight and sleep and just look after myself for a few days!).
I feel sick thinking about leaving DS.

I am trying to cut down a bit of BF so he now just feeds at nap and bed time (though these are long feeds). We'll see how we get on. I will bed sad if the trip ends our nursing relationship, but he will be 2 and a bit so it's not the end of the world.