Gutted - didn't get the job I really wanted

[Katherine]

Just need a few words to cheer me up as I'm feeling really low.

I had an interview for the perfect job yesterday. Only two days a week, pretty crap pay but an exciting new scheme that I could really see myself doing. Was based at the Farming Life Centre up the road - could have walked to work - on a farm, about helping people make positive choices about their health. There were 3 posts so I really thought I was in with a chance but they just phoned to say although I interviewed well it was a strong field and I didn't get it. I know they wanted ordinary people from the community so I think maybe I was too overqualified in their eyes but I don't want some high powered job. I don't feel confident enough. This was the job for me.

I've never really worked. I did my degree, then masters then PhD. I had 2 of my kids while doing my PhD and then set up a web based business at home. But I hate it. I'm not a business woman - more suited to the service industry. My 3rd child is now 2 so I'm thinking about the future. This would have been an ideal stepping stone for me to build my confidence and would have fitted in with the kids so well.

I feel like I'll never find the right job. This is a rural place so theres not much on offer. And good part-time jobs are hard to find. I've got no cofidence and feel like I'm going to be stuck at home here forever. This might sound like an overreaction but I so wanted it. Plus my DH isn't speaking to me because I took the huff that he didn't wish me luck at all or phone all day to see how it went and now he says he feels undervalued. Huh! I just feel like a house hold drudge now. So depressed.

so sorry to hear this Katherine.

could you offer to do some volunteering for them - even if its just stuffing envelopes? They will be so impressed with your commitment you'll be bound to be first in line for anything new that comes up.

Katherine - no words of advice here but much sympathy. I am in the same situation as you (ok, no PhD yet but am doing my Masters, and I'm even doing the web based business stuff without much success as I'm pants at marketing). I've never had a proper job, it feel so shameful. All I keep thinking is that next year I'll be 30 and will I ever be able to work... I too live in a rural area and there's no before- or after-school care here and it all feels a bit hopeless with three children. I'm planning on doing a PhD just to delay this 'having to do something grown-up' for a bit longer.

Any chance of doing some teaching at a local college? Maybe a PGCE in teaching adults?

Katherine, sorry you're down in the dumps, but I think Enid's idea is brill!!!

Infact you could volunteer for other community work, this would help for your next interview and build your confidence.

I think most counties have a volunteer network, just google and you'll be surprised at the organisations looking for volunteers.

Good luck

KAtherine, I can really sympathise with what you are feeling, I have 3 postgraduate degrees and it has been a pain trying to get a job in the little place where I live (actually, I went back to uni for the third one because being at home all day long was driving me crazy). I also set up my own business but I miss the oportunity of being part of a team, and also hate the selling part of having a business.

Unfortunately, when you are so qualified people feel a bit uneasy about asking you to serve the coffee, or feel stupidly insecure thinking you may take their jobs from them. I don't know what have you studied, but if you volunteer, volunteer in an area/subject of work that allows you to show off your assets, otherwise you may end up feeling even more frustrated.

What did you study? do you know the Open University has. very often, job positions available for tutors? as one, you deal with most students either by phone or e-mail so you don't need to be in the middle of an important city to do the work, they are mostly part time jobs.

HTH

thanks all.
I'm feeling slightly better now. The pay was naff so it would have been hard to justify the childcare costs - would have been pretty much volunteer work! But it would have been perfect location and hours. Oh well in another year my youngest will be at nursery so I don't have to worry about childcare so much.

I do already volunteer at the local school and run their gardening club. Its hard to justify paying someone to look after my youngest if I'm not earning though. Money is tight and I feel obligated to be working on my own business if I'm not earning elswhere.

My training is in Health Pyschology. My ideal job would be working with people with chronic or life threatening illness about how they cope with living with the illness. A sort of illness councellor. This job made me realise it would also be good to do a similar thing but with healthy people about their health. I have thought about volunteering for Cruse. They will train you as a councellor and its working with people who have lost someone, which of course may often be from illness so indirectly related and perhaps a foot in the door.

Chandra a friend of mine did the OU thing but she found it quite stressful with the kids and it was very tying with their weekends etc. I suppose its always there as a possibility though.

Something will come along eventually. Obviously I'm not meant to give up on my own business just yet!

KAtherine, many NHS institutions are running internships schemes to help you gain confidence before applying for a job. Considering your background, I think they will be more than happy to have you around. HTH