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LOTS of opinions on this please!

29 replies

QueenVictoria · 12/10/2005 17:11

I sent this to my boss today. I have been in "secret" discussions with his line manager as i wanted to go grievance or at least try and resolve things - i find him very difficult to talk to because he is so defensive and never wrong.... Please tell me if you think it rude/confrontational/whatever. Sorry it is such a long one (its an email reply btw).I have amended names for obv reasons. Thanks.

"Since you have asked, my reason for contacting your line manager was originally because of the Staff Questionnaire sent out. At that point DS was 19 weeks old and I had not heard a peep out of the company/you, no congratulatory phone call, response to my message, a card and certainly no flowers. If you say you sent flowers then I won?t argue that fact, but if I had sent someone flowers and not heard back from them I would have called to follow up. I would have called anyway to be honest. I am in no doubt that you have been busy, and I am aware of the changes going on with Rentokil at the moment but I don?t believe it to be reasonable excuse enough to not contact me at all in 6 months. That is just how I feel.

I have to say I am not particularly happy to have be put on the spot with questions over the phone about vague excerpts from emails your line managers secretary has forwarded to you. The simple fact is that I have reflected a great deal during my maternity leave about our ?working relationship? . The lack of contact from you since the birth of my son has compounded how I feel about how the last 2 years have been, which is as follows:

It is my opinion that you do not like the current working arrangement of my working part time and you make your annoyance quite clear often times.

You regularly reminded me (unsolicited) that I cannot return to my original role full time and would have to take a ?step down?. You repeated told me that you really wanted the role fulfilled in a full time capacity. You have also mentioned often who it was that originally wanted my job.

You have regularly used the decrease in the number of my working hours as the excuse for underperformance when you are well aware that this factor is beyond my control (and indeed if I wanted to go full time I couldn?t anyway). In fact you insisted I enter into my appraisal (with which you couldn?t fault with me I might add) ?problems with workload due to number of hours worked?. I remember clearly a conversation we had once when asking for unpaid leave due to a family problem to which your response was that I have enough time off as it is now I am part time without taking annual leave AND unpaid leave. I may have misconstrued this but I don?t see how I could have.

I think I performed exceptionally well last year yet my pay increase didn?t reflect that. In fact my pay increases over the last 2 years in my opinion, have been the lowest they have ever been in my employment with the company (percentagewise). This amongst other little comments etc here and there all add up to me feeling thoroughly undervalued and demoralized. I thought I might have been being a little oversensitive about it, but your lack of contact has only proven to reinforce it to me.

I have always found you to be difficult to talk to, our telephone conversation today has proved that. (No apology for lack of contact, just excuses that you are busy). This is why I contacted your line manager. I sought his advice and counsel on how to resolve this. Unfortunately it has come to a point where I was due back on Monday and couldn?t delay it any further. I felt that handing in my resignation was the ?last resort? .

Im sorry if you find this hard to swallow but I don?t think I can convey my disappointment any more clearly. I do not wish to leave a company I have 10 years invested in but I don?t see how else this can be resolved. Which is where the comment regarding transfers arise ? they don?t just happen because an individual wants it.

Yours sincerely

QueenVic"

Honest opinions welcome - seriously!

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stripeybumpsmum · 18/10/2005 21:22

Just to add to SMW...law changed Oct 04 basically to try to resolve more disputes in workplace before trying to resolve them in Employment Tribunal. If you say 'I want to complain' technically employer has duty to explain how to set out grievance in correct written form and actually help you write it if required. If you make a complaint to an Employment Tribunal, they will expect you and employer to make an attempt at solving problem first. If it looks like either side were obstructive or couldn't be *rsed, any compensation can be increased or decreased depending who's at fault. DTI website and ACAS website and helpline advice is good.
I would suggest you take a few days to calm down and reflect. What do you want him to know? If you just wanted to have your say, fine if you feel better. But if you are expecting the email to elicit a response, he will see things differently to you and will react how he wants to, not how you want him to. Is resigning really what you want? Your email is quite a confrontational outburst -his reply is probably an acknowledgement only whilst he hotfoots it down to HR for advice. You need to be prepared for his reaction to be a less-enlightened 'what did I do? Blimey she's hormonal.' If he has been a muppet so far, he's not going to become an A-star people manager over night.
If you do not want to resign, think about contacting yr employer by registered letter explaining you were extremely distressed by the phone call and perhaps reacted rashly. State you want to withdraw your resignation but are unhappy with your treatment prior to and during maternity leave (keep it to the facts) and you welcome an opportunity to discuss what they are going to do about it. It gives you (best case) a way in to agree to work for another manager or(worst case)provides evidence you have lodged a grievance and attempted to resolve the situation before you try to claim constructive dismissal. I accept you might feel better having told him exactly what you think of him. But be honest whether the outcome makes you happy - you are out of a job in a big company where you could easily do well under a different manager and he probably thinks his treatment of you was justified - by you resigning you reduce the need for the company to do anything to correct his behaviour. Withdraw the resignation and state what your grievance is and what you want doing about it and you might just salvage a good relationship for yourself with the company and get the company to take action to correct his behaviour.
Your choice, but it seems to me that the feeling of 'sod you' is going to be shortlived compared with 10 years of working hard only to give up for a poor manager. He wins...

Scraggyaggy · 19/10/2005 15:15

Go Girlfriend!

sis · 19/10/2005 22:21

QueenVictoria, I too am unsure of what you want to achieve. If you just want to get it off your chest then fine, but if you want something else, I'd need to know what it was before giving any comments on your e-mail. Maybe you aren't looking for opinions anymore as your boss has replied so the ball is already rolling...

QueenVictoria · 19/10/2005 22:27

I think its all a rolling now!

Thanks for your replies everyone. It is too late in that i have handed in my notice. I had asked for help advice and didnt get a response from my boss' manager so i just went for it and they didnt respond. Still havent. Ive had an acceptance of my resignation letter from my boss yesterday (finally). He still claims to have heard nothing from me since he wrote on 16th sept asking to find out if i was returning on the 3rd oct. He didnt bother following that letter up until 11th oct (i had written to him to reply and also wonder why he didnt follow up before the 11th if he expected me back on the 3rd). Anyway i am going to write out a formal grievance letter because i do feel i have been treated unfairly, and i want answers for it. I dont want it brushed under the carpet.

Any advice on a formal grievance letter format would be good.....?

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