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RESIGNATION???? OR GOING BACK TO WORK

7 replies

Virgggg · 05/02/2011 14:48

hI

i would like to hear from some mum who resign to stay at home with their baby.
are you miising work? Are you happy at home? and financialy, can you get some benefit???

I am suppose to go back to work really soon but i would like to resigne to stay with my baby twins, also the cost of the chilcare will take all my pay.

iwould really glad to hear your experience and why you took this decision, I REALLY NEED SOME HELP WHAT SHOULD I DO???
tHANKS

OP posts:
PrincessScrumpy · 05/02/2011 19:28

Didn't completely resign but did cut my hours back dramatically. We're poorer but I'm much happier.

thisisyesterday · 05/02/2011 19:31

well, I did, but I was only working in a shoe shop so it wasn't like I had a career or anythihng

we manage ok on dp's wage, and we aren't entitled to any benefits.

it'd be nice to have a bit more money coming in, but I'm far happier staying at home with my children than I woulkd have been at work

felicity10 · 07/02/2011 16:30

I did, and I think its probably one of the bravest things I've done! I always was so sure that I would go back PT, I had a really good career, which has taken me years to get to the role I was in. BUT, I also, had no idea how I would feel about my daughter and how much I would enjoy being at home.

Friends and family thought I was winding them up when I told them!

So, I decided to stay at home and resigned from my job. Financially, we've made a few adjustments, but nothing drastic.

I think the most important thing is that it has to be both your and your partners decision, having the support of dh in this has been crucial.

Now that I am a few months into being at home - and not on maternity, reality has hit home in some ways...

-I do actually have to do this every day, and it's shattering!

-I do have to find a range of activities to get us out the house and so that I can talk to other people - when your nct crowd have gone back to work! Unlike work, unless you plan out your week, there is no real structure, I've made myself get out and join playgroups etc. because otherwise it is a long day - espec in the winter

-I do have to do the cleaning and ironing myself as no cleaner now, DH helps out but I would rather we had fun time at the weekend than cleaning

-Supportive partners are great, but it's not like work, no one really pats you on the back, says you're doing a great job and takes you out for a long lunch!! The validation that you get at work, doesn't really exist at home in the same way! However, being able to see my dd do things that I would have missed, more than makes up for things.

I get up in the morning and feel really lucky that I was able to make this choice.

It is a tough one though, so good luck making the big decision. We have to be grateful that we can choose! There is no right answer!

KCS · 13/02/2011 21:57

Hi there,

I am on the brink of the same decision. I have two children and maternity leave is just about to end with my 9 month old. I REALLY don't want to re-enter the rat race, be forced to worry about office politics and reaching certain 'standards' when all my instincts lead me to staying with my kids to sure they are ok and develop as well balanced people. I've read a lot recently about the negative effect of early child care and I just don't want to risk it.

I feel the fear so much more this time around, with my second child. I returned to work part time after my first was 9 months and it didn't feel that bad. However, there is just so much more to juggle with two kids. More cleaning, cooking, illness, attention required. If I'm not there, I just worry that lots of stuff will get neglected. Including me. I'll be tired, stressed and GUILTY!

Was good to read Felicity10's post as I think I too will feel grateful and lucky to be able to make this decision to stay at home. It is so contrary to how I was brought up to be, that strangely it feels a very 'alternative' move, but there you have it. I think I've just talked myself into choosing the home over work. It feels good!

KCS · 13/02/2011 22:02

Oh, and weirdly, we'll be better off financially with me not working because the child care costs are astronomical. We're going to be scratching by, but perhaps it will be easier in the long run. Who knows?

I reckon I'll try and re-enter the job world when my youngest is at school. Will cross that tricky bridge when I come to it.

Gonzo33 · 15/02/2011 10:20

Hmm If I am honest I am forced into a position of being a sahm and I hate it. However, that may be because I had a job that I really enjoyed before. I am now counting the weeks until I can start thinking of applying for work. Although it could be anything between 36 weeks and 78.

Subway · 15/02/2011 12:41

Yes, I resigned 5 years ago after a brief return after maternity leave (after birth of my first baby).

It was self-sabotaging, really. My career hasn't really recovered. It has been hard going financially, and there have been moments when I thought 'I must be mad!'.

But I do not regret it at all Grin. Honestly. I loved being at home with my first child, went on to have a second child, and our family has really benefited from me being 'at home' 9although I have spent most of the past 5 years in parks and play centres!).

I am now about to return to full-time work (kids are in school / nursery full time now), and feeling good about it, if nervous Grin

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