Having assured my employers that my family was complete after DS2 was born, I am now unexpectedly pregnant with a third. I've been back at work for 12 months, and have seven to go before I go on leave again. I had a similar gap between the first and second and have been with the same employer for 9 years, so by the time I return I'll have been employed for over ten years, but on leave for 3 of those.
It's really hard to go back each time. I head up a small team and feel I have to 'elbow' my way back in. Other departments say they miss me and things aren't run so well without me, but it's bloody hard to re-establish myself with the people I manage.
How bad should I feel? The cost to the company (a charity if this makes any difference) is mostly covered by the government I believe, i.e. SMP is paid by them, plus a small amount to cover recruitment of cover? I would think that my deputy will take on my role and enjoy the chance to run things his way for a while, and hopefully we'll find a way to job share when I return.
I'm really trying to steel myself for when I tell my boss. She's not ever-so sympathetic, and I recently had a request for flexible working begrudgingly agreed which included a reshuffle (really promotions) for others in the team. How apologetic should I feel? Has anyone else returned too the same employer three times and felt shame-faced?! 
Any advice appreciated, but no comments about crap contraception use please! It was NYE and we had an overnight babysitter! 