What have I done?

[MungBeans]

Eeeek! I've been in my current role for around 18months now. I enjoy my job and the small group I work with have become like friends. I do feel they expect too much from me at times, and I don't feel that my pay reflects the contribution I make. I have tried to resolve this but basically, due to the dynamics of the group, I am bottom of the pecking order and will be until others leave (unlikely).

I have just seen another job which I have applied for. I now have to face my manager and tell him because all references are taken up prior to interview (I had to give my current employer as my first referee). I know he's going to be hurt and disappointed and I'm worried I'm ruining any chance of progression I had if I don't get the new job. I also feel guilty because they have just paid for some training for me which I have recently completed.

I feel so disloyal and the thought of speaking to my manager tomorrow makes me feel a bit sick. Is all fair in love and war and the workplace? Or shall I quickly withdraw my application and pretend nothing happened?

I always felt like this when I moved to a new position, but it is silly really. Don't feel guilty. You need to put your career first. Your manager will understand this. Maybe start the conversation with, "I'm really happy here, however I would like to further my career".

If you don't get the job, then your manager will at least know that you tried and that you want your career to progress, which is more likely to get you promotion within the company if you stay.

Thanks MummyMayhem

I love your suggestion for the conversation starter....I'll use that! I guess part of it is just cold feet because my colleagues do feel like friends...but like you say, I need to put my career first.

Good luck! And remember, they will respect you for doing this, even if you don't get the job.

it seem odd that they would take up our references before interviewing you, as many people would not want their current employer to know they were looking for a new job.

I would ask the new job people why they are doing this and whether they can be more flexible ? Maybe they can jus et confirmation from HR that you hold the position you claim to hold.

I have done a lot of recruitment and I would never take up references until after an interview and only if I was sure I wanted to offer the person the job.

Thank you MommyMayhem - I hope you're right

GeorgeEliot - I think it's to do with safeguarding children. I haven't come across it before either - I might call them to clarify. Thanks for posting.