Help on my options please

[HeadInASpin]

I was hoping somebody could comment on my options please, I'd be most grateful.
My head is in a spin and I'm not sure what direction to turn.

Option 1: In 2005 I graduated with a PhD in a specialised engineering field, I was almost 30 (as I had worked in a related industry prior to the PhD) and keen to start a family. I haven't done anything with it since as I did not want to be starting something and then getting pregnant straight away.

I loved my PhD, especially the research/ write up/ number crunching part - the subject matter maybe not so much so.

I've recently found that there is a fellowship (for women returning to research) that can be applied for. When I saw it I got quite excited, but realised that a) I may not get it, b) academic research is highly competitive - have to keep re-applying, so maybe not so sustainable long term. c) not that keen on my subject matter, it doesn't excite me any more. d) how would it fit around children. e) I haven't been in touch with my old colleagues for a few years.

Option 2: In 2006 I decided to do something different and enrolled in a cake decorating course, with a view of possibly making wedding cakes (as a small business) when my children were young as I could fit around school hours. I've done the course for 4 years (completed last year) and now I'm pretty skilled and find it satisfying. I was planning to start the business with my sister and she is still keen. I enjoy it and like working with my sister. The only problem is I am not sure how successful it will be - in the last couple of years cake decorating seems to have become the latest craze with every man and his dog doing it. The other thing is the recession, are people still spending on wedding stuff now. But I do think it would fit around family life better. I have a business plan and I've attended business courses so I'm pretty clear on how to set up.

Option 3: Completely starting afresh and retraining - perhaps building on my numerate/ analytical/ research background but not engineering. Any ideas?

My main focus is my daughter, I really want to be there for her when she needs me, but I'd also like to do something else too. I thought I would get sorted now ready for when she starts school next year. I'm also not sure if my family is complete, ideally I'd love another one, but I'm mid 30's and there are some medical issues to consider so maybe not. Will be grateful for any comments - Thank you.

Try option 2 as it's most child friendly & can bring in money now. Diversify into birthday & christening cakes, cakes by mail order, decoration-making parties?

And re 1, get back in touch and keep it on the back burner as it has long term potential.

Thanks PorkChopSter , I was planning to do other cakes as well as wedding cakes. Love the party idea - hadn't thought of that. Would love to do mail order as it would increase the potential customer base but think the things I do may be a little fragile.

Re option 1, I've been wanting to get back in touch for ages, I send xmas cards each year but nothing else if you see what I mean. I had lovely colleagues but I'm so bad at keeping in touch, I don't know what to say especially as I'm not in the field anymore.

Thanks.

go for option 1 definitely - a friend of mine has a fellowship and works it round her son quite easily and he was little when she started - now at school

option 2 - if you cant get option 1 whilst looking for option 3 and you could always do it as a sideline for either option 1 or 3

Option 2 would be my back up plan - not the first choice....not sure why you're even considering it when you have a PhD.....please use your PhD!!!!

Thank you connie, it's great to hear that a fellowship can be fitted around a child well.

I'd at least look into option 1 carefully. Email colleagues, I'm sure they'd like to catch up - I frequently hear from people I haven't heard from in years and am very glad to catch up. Perhaps start writing the application and see if it grabs you and you get into it, that's the key thing.

In my experience, fellowships are the most flexible way to go and I'd expect that one aimed at women returning would be especially so.

The long term lack of stability is something to think about but is affecting many job areas now so......

Good luck!

Why don't you at least apply for option 1?

You can decorate cakes whenever, but the longer you leave your field the harder it will be to return.

It's always good to have a backup plan. If you go down the cake route I would definitely consider doing a short marketing course or getting someone in for a day to give you some ideas about how you could distinguish yourselves in an a fairly busy market. We did this with a specialist in our field for the small business I set up with my DH and it was enormously helpful.

Thank you Chutneypig and Grumpla, it's definately worth looking into. It's just nervousness I guess.

That's understandable! But resist the temptation to devalue yourself, or to think that because your priority is your daughter you have nothing to offer in your specialist field.

Personally I find that since having DS I am probably a better worker in many ways. More focused, better organised, and I appreciate the time in which I can be me rather than mummy, so I make damn sur ei use it well! Plus when I am on mummy duty, I appreciate that more too - I can enjoy each 'side' of my life for what it is and not resent it for taking me away from something else, IYKWIM.

Option 1, definitely!

Do the 'scary' thing that pushes you out of your comfort zone. If it doesn't work out, you can give the cake business a go. You only regret the things you didn't do - cliched, but true!

Childcare is a hassle no matter what work / study you do. You'll manage!