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Working Parents Dissertation.

4 replies

0Michelle0 · 29/01/2011 13:43

Hi, My name is Michelle, and I'm currently a mature full-time student in the final year of my degree. I am mother to three children between the ages of 15 and 7, and am also a single parent.

The topic of my dissertation is the comparison between the UK and Germany, with regard to combining parenthood with work. I am looking for people in this situation who are willing to describe their experiences, encompassing:

the decision making process about work or home (choice or no choice)

childcare arrangements

what difficulties you may have experienced

or maybe there were positives?

Are your experiences purely confined to the UK? or have you lived abroad and know of differences in systems or finances?

I would like to have a broad spectrum of working parents, willing to be part of the dissertation (first name only, or alias), but happy to be included and cited. For this an e-mail address for referencing purposes may be required, but this will not be publicized. I am happy to have people post directly into this thread if they feel they would like to share, or they can e-mail me directly to:

[email protected]

Hoping you're all having a great day,

All the best

Michelle

OP posts:
Wigeon · 29/01/2011 18:44

I have one DD (2.7 yrs)

Decision-making process and childcare arrangements

I felt quite strongly that I wanted my child to be cared for at home when small, and didn't feel that group care was appropriate for at least an under 1 yr old. DH felt the same.

What we ended up deciding is that I would work 3 days a week and have DD for 2 days, DH would work 3 days a week and have DD for 2 days, and my mother would look after her on the one day we both worked.

Fortunately we were able to make a choice based on what we believed would be best for DD rather than financial constraints. This isn't because we earned a whole lot of money at the time of DD's birth, rather, it was actually the opposite - for much of his 20s, DH was either doing his first degree, then a Masters, then a PhD (supported by a research grant), then a number of part-time academic jobs (which paid a pittance), and then training to be a secondary teacher. Then DH looked for, and found his first teaching job as a part-time (starting near the bottom of the teachers' payscale). I had a steady career and was gradually earning more and more, but the switch to part-time for both of us wasn't as crippling financially than it would have been had we both had high-paying careers, and a high-costing lifestyle. DH earns more as a part-time school teacher than he did as an almost-full-time academic.

We would have actually earned more money had I worked full-time and put DD in a nursery, but as our expenditure was matched to the years when DH hardly earnt anything, we were able to make the choice to work part-time. Almost all of DH's current salary would go on childcare, so from a purely finanical point of view, there's not much point him working fulltime

I was also very lucky to work for an employer (central government) where I was able to find a job-share role at the same level as my previous full-time roles.

Positives

I am so happy that we chose (and were able to choose) this arrangment. It works really well for us as a family. DH is a great father and DD really benefits from being parented by him as well as me. We don't have any of the stress which comes with nurseries / childminders (eg whether you are back in time for closing, with a nursery, or what to do if your childminder is sick / on holiday etc etc). I really think DD is thriving with this arrangement. We still ensure she gets plenty of contact with other children and different experiences - in fact more than if she were in the same nursery building for 10 hours a day. As a family, we have a lovely work-life balance. Weekends are generally family-time, rather than a time when you have to catch up on chores / the weekly shop etc etc (mostly!).

Negatives

We don't have the most money at the moment, and we would have more if I worked fulltime (even taking into account the cost of nurseries). But the advantages far outweigh this disadvantage to us; we can still make ends meet.

Other things

I don't have any experience of being abroad to compare this to.

Hope this helps - are there any specific aspects you are interested in? (apart from the comparison across countries?)

madwomanintheattic · 29/01/2011 18:54

0michelle0, can i ask about your research methods? are you just analysing any written material respondents supply, or are you carrying out e-mail interviews etc?

fwiw, since having dcs, i've lived and worked in the uk and canada, and lived in germany (but not worked). my dcs are now 11, 9 and 7.

i have also had an employer pay for a full time nanny on two occasions as part of my employment package. Grin

one of my children also has a disability, which might give you further food for thought on the 'working v caring' issues.

but i'd like to hear a bit more about your research methods (mostly as i'm dead nosy). do you have a participant's information sheet you could e-mail me?

madwomanintheattic @ hotmail dot co dot uk (no spaces, usual rules apply)

0Michelle0 · 18/02/2011 12:00

madwomanintheattic, having discussed this at length with my dissertation supervisor, I have decided to avoid the questionaire form of research, and just attempt general threads which provide the information on a general scale, obviously indicating where the experiences are being made, legal structures etc.

This thread exists in Britain and I am analysing the German system with a similar thread on a popular German parenting magazine website.

I will be using existing threads which show general comments about work and parenting, in order to highlight the social attitudes in 2011.

Also, I am accessing forums for other newspapers etc which also deal with the same topics but potentially within a different social class structure or location within a country. Obviously there are going to be differences between a rural family and a city dwelling family, and this cannot be ignored.

OP posts:
babyowl · 18/02/2011 23:25

Interesting, why compare with Germany (as opposed to France or US?)...it might be worth mentioning (though maybe obvious) that some things will change over time & policies.

Government cuts won't be improving things for working parents. (e.g. Several councils cutting play provision (incl. breakfast & after-school clubs), closure of children's centres, lowering of income thresholds + raising of working hours for being eligible for Tax Credits on top of pay freezes/redundancies, high inflation & the general lack of local jobs within term-time/school hours).

I only have experience of the UK system.

Decision making process about work or staying at home (choice or no choice)
No choice as I was emotionally abandoned by my partner & still feel like I can't completely rely on him. So even though he does contribute financially, I'm working full-time & being a SAHM won't be an option unless I lose my job & can't find another one.

Childcare Arrangements
Chose nursery on the basis of having multiple carers who would be able to manage to give each other breaks & help each other amid the general kiddie chaos. (Happy unstressed carers-> hopefully happy children) Also lots of opportunity for messy play & playing with other kids.

What Difficulties?
a) Dealing with difficult people at work whilst feeling like a hormonal wreck.
b) Dealing with Early Years staff with unrealistic ideas who are blind to the fact that working parents can't just drop everything at relatively short notice
c) General feelings of efforts not being unappreciated.

What Positives?
a)Having a lovely child to cuddle
b)Flexi-time combined with understanding boss & colleagues
c) Ex-partner contributes financially and will help out with childcare (albeit grumpily)

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