Hello All
I'm new to the forum but hoping some of you might be kind enough to read comment on my post.
Below is just a run down of events so far, for a bit of background;
I'm a female receptionist at the company 5 years, never any grievances/disciplinarys, appraisals all good etc
Senior manager over the years making increasingly innapropriate remarks, always regarding my chest/cleavage, increasingly embarassing and harassing.
Afraid to make a complaint about him as I knew (first hand, not rumour or hearsay) that a young male colleague made a formal complaint against this manager(let's call him IC) for bullying & harassment in which he involved his union and labour relations to come into work to try to sort out (IC) and the following year an ET1 arrivied in from a young female who left on the grounds of Bullying + sexual harassment by IC.
My views then, as now, is that the company are aware of IC's behaviour but haven't seen to be doing anything about it, so what's the point in complaining. It would also be my word against his.
On a work night out before Xmas, IC made his usual sexist remarks but not just to me but to my sister! I wanted to go home right away but she thought we shouldn't let the oul pervert ruin our night. So we stayed til the end of the game and I tried not to think about it but it led to an exchange of words later in the evening. Initially I had planned to bring my bro, wish I had as IC would never have made his sexist/leering comments if I had my bro instead of sis.
First thing Monday I put in a written grievance, giving details of the incident and saying that is it wasn't a first occurance but a continuation of the way he speaks to me in work and because it also envolved a third party (family member) he had totally crossed the line this time. I told them his remarks to me were often accompanied by winking and/or calling me darlin' - which I am sure he doesn't do to male colleagues.
Investigation got under way, Summary of Findings agreed that he calls a few females darlin, and winks at a further few and while they agree this was innapropriate, it wasn't enough to warrant disciplinary proceedings. No mention that they upheld (or not) the on going sexist comments. For this and a few other points I appealed.
The appeal for my grievance against IC was held with less than 24 hrs notice. No effort was made to obtain statements from outside (key)witnesses! No minutes were provided. No witness statements were given for me to review/refute. The director who chaired the appeal seemed to be reading from the Summary of Findings and said a Letter of Concern being put on IC's file wasn't just a slap on the wrist - there was no mention of this LOC on my summary so this (and a few other things) make me think that information has been selectively shared or purposefuly omited. The appeal outcome will de given to me next week but I doubt they will discipline him.
Obviously the above is only a very limited description and as I plan to send an ET1 shortly, no doubt I will come on here pestering you folks for some more advice. BTW, I have already served an SD74 Questionnaire to which I've no response (but it's still withing the time frame requested)
The reason for todays post concerns a counter greivance raised by IC about my reaction to the incident outside of work (a Sat nite in December). I felt this was in retaliation for my complaint against him and made this point. Still work insisted and so to co-operate (and get it over with because it was the week in between my grievance and subsequent appeal) I went in to the investigation meeting with the same lady who conducted mine against him and gave further details.
The exchange of words that I mentioned earlier was in the last 10 mins of the game, when IC and his wife started berating my sis (ok, she was a little drunk but I was not as all in attendance agreed on). I couldn't believe that he had a cheek to do this, after the earlier remark to us both and ofcourse his ongoing treatment of me. It was all too much and it really got to me! From the very first meeting I had stated that when IC and his wife started on my sis, I sat facing forward, not opening my mouth. At this meeting I gave further detail as in, the reason I sat saying nothing was because I physically couldn't. I could feel a panic attack coming on because I was stressed to hell. Usually they come on without warning but I know the signs. All my focus then is internal, trying to concentrate on breathing.
I was barely aware of anything go on around me but anything being said was between my sis, IC and his wife. The game ended, I was still trying to get control of myself when I stood up, put my coat over my arm and walked over the far side of the room. My sis was still talking with IC, his wife was beside him but staring at me. It must have looked so cowardly that I let them talk down to my sis without defending her and this was just something else for me to feel bad about but I thought I couldn't walk away without having said anything at all so I went over and told her she had no business talking to my sister in the way that she had. IC didn't like that I was speaking with her and so he said (in his usual threatening manner) that "all this" would be brought up with HR on Monday to which I replied "Good because I will have a lot more to say about you then and I know that I'll not be the only female to have complained about you".
His grievance about me was 1. how was I able to know about that et1 directed at him - 2. that I was shouting and behaving in an unbecoming manner. 3. that someone said, her friend said, that I said ... ( a swear word when talking about his wife). My replies 1.my job involves opening post adressed to the company with no idividual name, such as an ET1 and I saw it with my own eyes. I have never broadcast about this or anything else in all my time at the company and confidentiality has never been an issue. My remarks were directed to IC and about IC. - 2. at the very end yes my voice might have been raised but it was due to the stressful situation, brought on by IC himself! 3. this (hearsay) lie was by the same person who works under IC and who was found to have been spreading rumours that my sis and I were frogmarched out out by security = again lies which was confirmed by the venue.
Today I got the Summary of Findings for his grievance against me, detailed in 2 parts. It did not uphold the breach of confidentially as they reasonably found that anyone can make a slip under extreme pressure and that in usual circumstances I would never have mentioned knowing about his prior harassment. However, it upheld that the raised voiced and the alleged swear word (which I flatly deny!) in ref to the wife were unbecoming and warranted disciplinary for gross misconduct. Iwas neither told I could appeal not did it state this on the written summary.
How can they say on one hand, my words concerning the et1 etc are excusable because of the extreme circumstances and yet my raised voice etc were not? It's a complete contradiction as it was all the same incident. Up until those last few minutes, everyone can confirm I was neither drunk, rude, abusive etc. Yes, under duress I said something I wouldn't have ordinarily but why excuse what I say not not the way it's said? I wasn't being nasty, just distressed.
I think they are trying to victimise me because I served the SD74 and am about to lodge an ET1. There is no way a raised voice (I wasn't screaming or anything like that) constitutes gross misconduct? The swearing things is just nonsense and hopefully I can show that this heresay came from a malicious source.
Please help as this seems very unequal.