Should I walk out?

[Watersign76]

Would be interested in your views.

I have a senior role, been there nearly 6 months. Do 4 days. This week it has all felt too much, and I am seriously contemplating not going back. I haven't really been happy since I joined. This week a peer sent me to extremely rude and aggressive emails about work related things, I just don't see the need to be so rude. It wasn't just the fact she did, but it just reminds me that this sort of behaviour is tolerated.

The good:
*job has potential for me to make an impact longer term
*I have the authority to make it work.
*My small team below are very good
*the money is good

The bad:
*some of the SMT aren't very nice, I am used to a vaguely supportive environ; these are aggressive, backstabbing, questioning.
*There isn't enough resource, I am regularly working of an evening, I easily do more than a 5 day a week but paid for 4.
*The bit of the org I am involved with hasn't really had any staff for 6 months before I joined and even then it was 1 junior person, so it was in (and still is although less so) a mess.
*Due to the mess and the fact our systems need improving the team and I are always dealing with complaints

• The office is in a rough area, and my commute is 1.15 hours, when I was used to 30 mins before.

I know the job market isn't great, and I am sure those of you facing redundancy think I must be mad/selfish, but I have been crying a lot this week - not in work - and I am worried about my sanity/health.

We could just scrape by on my H's wages, but I'd want to try and get another job or do temping etc.

I obviously kiss by to a reference by just walking but I can probably skim over a "blip" in my CV.

Or I am mad?

Deep breaths Watersign! I have previously walked out of a job after 3 months and have managed to gloss over on my CV (the job doesn't appear but the gap does - I did a very short course as soon as I walked out and have explained it as a mini career break to do course).

Get onto www.indeed.co.uk and jobs.trovit.co.uk/ and do a job search/set up email alerts for new jobs (temp and permanent), spend a little bit of time updating your CV (although if recently changed job shouldn't need too much work), get registered on various jobsites where you can upload your CV, keep a list of agencies you've registered with & contact details & who to speak to and try and phone...well just put your energies into escaping. Yes, you're lucky to have a job, but it's difficult to feel 'grateful' when it is making you feel so miserable. You can find something else and quick, especially if you are open to temping/locum work. Positive thinking and positive action will get you out - good luck!

Thanks BDJ. Glad it worked out of you. I think once i have something else on my CV I will get rid of the current job.

I have already started the search for someting else, and once it is offical I'll contact all my professional contacts to see if anyone wants to give me some temp work. Am very open to doing most things!

Thanks.

I can sympathise. I've worked in an environment that I've hated but didn't complain as it was my boss and I worried about losing my job. Now I'm being made redundant. Only one in my Dept to go and boss has been the instigator. I probably have a claim for unfair dismissal but I don't have a job and as a single parent don't have anyone to support me.

I would see what jobs are out there before contemplating walking out. Good luck. It is a horrible position to be in.

OOh (BdJ here - sorry name changed) and do update your details on LinkedIn and make contact with former colleagues etc.on there and encourage them to give you references (a lot of us are trying to escape form the same company at the moment and have been using LinkedIn to build up our networks) and you them. An old friend returned to NY from travelling just after the Lehmans crash (worked in Bonds so knew he was going to find it v difficult to get a job) applied everywhere he could, after 5 months nothing, until Bloomberg got in touch with him via LinkedIn - they'd seen his experience/CV on there and he now heads up their breakfast trading slot on their TV channel!

This is probably not good advice BUT if the job is destroying your soul then I think it's OK to leave without having another job lined up. I would still give notice though rather than just disappearing.

Also, set yourself a deadline (month, 3 months, 6 months - whatever you can bear thinking of) and in that time put as much energy as you can into finding another job knowing that no matter what you can and will walk. It may change your mindset just enough (not implying it is your fault - only that when I knew I could go and then did, my remaining time was bearable because I was busy creating options/opportunities to get out). Treat finding another job like a job itself, reduce effort & time on current job appropriately and focus on finding new job. It helped keep me sane while I got out.

'Twas years ago now but the job I walked on, I was locked in a room by the publisher, with him alone, while he (not a tall man) shouted at me, standing over me (he was a big cocaine addict and he'd just visited the toilets so no big mystery as to why he was so hyped and aggressive) because I had refused to run a lapdancing club Ad in the mag, especially not (never from my perspective but was prepared to fight the long war so long as I won this battle) when we had an article on why so few women in the judiciary and the only space for the lapdancing ad was under that article! He couldn't see how farcical that was let alone sexist.

You can do it Watersign! If you need encouragement use this thread to post your developments (e.g. signed up to agency, applied for X job etc) and I can cheer you on from the sidelines! In the meantime have some hugs (no longer unmumsnetty - I've seen far too many hugs being handed out recently to think the tide has turned!)

Totally agree with theyknowesperanto and setting a time limit. I've done this where I am now and it does really help with coping with the day to day horrors of your current job.

I could have a similar post myself, as am stuck in a far from ideal job, and also have a peer who writes rude emails. We have had lots of leavers, and my job is unnecessarily admin based and frankly, boring. All that's keeping me at present is my bonus at the end of the financial year. I have something else in the pipeline thankfully which should be in place by then, fingers crossed.

Good luck with all of it. Am sure you will feel 100% better once target leaving date is set! Another one who will be cheering from sidelines here

could have written that should say!

Thanks all for your very kind support - it really is appreciated. Will keep you informed as to the situ.

WS

theyknowesperanto Top post! I was in this situation (even down to my boss being a coke addict, too) and did exactly this.

I determined that I would take any job which would make me happier than the one I was in, which gave me me plenty of choice, I can tell you!

The weight slipped off my shoulders immediately. I had to give at least three months notice, and told my boss that I just wouldn't be there in three months time.

I also made sure I 'let it slip' to his boss that I had handed in my notice. My boss hadn't told his own manager, because he was desperately hoping I'd change my mind.

I didn't land my boss in trouble, and when the big boss asked why I was leaving, just said I was leaving because I was finding it impossible to motivate myself and my team. At no time did I blame anyone. I could afford to be generous to boss, as I was totally convinced that removing myself from the 'abusive' relationship was the best option for me.

Guess what? The dodgy boss disappeared a month later, and I was asked to stay on. Result!