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Original poster

Job Hunting & pregnant - what to say and when?

8 replies

prytherich · 23/01/2011 01:35

Hi, Any advice on my situation much appreciated. I have a 1 year old and in the last 2 months I have moved overseas and started looking for a job in my new home town. I have sorted childcare for my 1 year and old and I am at final stage interview for a fantastic job. I have just found out I am 6 weeks pregnant and really don't know how to handle this. The job is with a huge international organisation, quite high pressured and I know they have been looking for a while to fill the role, so if I do get it then it will be a huge blow for them to lose me 6 months later. I would intend to go back to work after my 2nd. Part of me thinks don't say anything as it's not guaranteed what will happen with the baby and legally i don't have to say anything. But the other part of me feels i am being really deceitful and they will think me dishonest when i do eventually tell them as they will know that i knew i was pregnant when i was interviewing. Has anyone else been in this situation and what did you do? Thanks
..

OP posts:

HappyMummyOfOne · 23/01/2011 10:48

Its not something I could do, I personally would tell them at the final stage interview.

If they employ you and you then tell them, the trust in the relationship will not be the same and they will feel that you deceived them knowing you were planning to train and leave a few months later anyway leaving them with the costs to recruit again.

hairyfairylights · 23/01/2011 12:25

Don't tell them until after you have got and accepted the job. At this early stage, it is none of their business.

Will they lose you completely six months later, (ie: will you give up work?) or will you go on maternity leave and return?

Guacamole · 23/01/2011 12:29

It's difficult... I wouldn't tell my employers until 12 weeks. So in theory I'd not tell prospective employers either?! Is there a legal issue though, do you have to disclose this kind of thing? I agree with the poster who said there might be a trust issue, I think potentially they'd feel let down.

Original poster

prytherich · 23/01/2011 23:42

Thanks for your comments. Yes I agree too re trust issue, i really wouldn't want to start under a bad shadow. I would definitely want to go back after having baby number 2, prob 9 months later. So they would lose me after 6 months and then i'd be back 9 months later. Legally I don't have to say anything til i'm about 20 weeks, but that would be impossible as I started showing early with my 1st and that will prob be the case with my 2nd. Legally they can't pull me out of the process after i tell them as i could take them to court over it but i do feel i should tell them either at final stage, or after they have made me the offer and before i sign the paperwork.

OP posts:

noniks · 24/01/2011 21:23

you're putting them in an impossible situation
if you tell them before you are offered the job, they pretty much HAVE to offer it to you as you could potentionally go after them for discrimination if you are not offered it after revealing your pregnancy.
They cannot withdraw the offer if you tell them before you sign on the dotted line for the same reason.

If you get the job then you will leave them in the lurch fairly soon.

I totally feel for you - but they will feel shafted either way. Sorry.

PerArduaAdNauseum · 24/01/2011 21:26

Can you put a positive spin on it? If they've really been looking to fill the role for a while, having you there even for 6 months will help them get on a better footing for then doing without you for a bit?

But would agree - don't say anything until you'd normally tell people. You're still only a bit pregnant after all...

StillSquiffy · 25/01/2011 12:41

I have been in the same situation and I did come clean, and I did lose the opportunity (it wasn't in the UK and I wasn't protected).

Even knowing that I would still recommend you come clean in the initial interviews on basis that (1) you will feel awful about it and they will feel a bit shafted anyway) and (2) TBH as an interviewer myself it would make no difference to me at all - you pretty much expect people to have kids at some stage anyway, so I wouldn't have an issue. If someone fits then that's more important than anything else, especially if it a role they have spent some time trying to find the right person for.

Food for thought: if they are the type of people to get the hump and turn you down at interview stage if you tell them you are pg, then they are probably not that family-friendly anyway.

flowery · 25/01/2011 12:51

I think it's really important for both your and the prospective employer that they make a decision about you without that piece of information clouding things.

If you tell them before they make their decision, three things could happen.

If you are the best candidate but they don't want the hassle of the maternity leave they might discriminate and turn you down.

Or if you are up there with the best candidates but not necessarily the one they would have chosen, they may feel obliged to offer you the job to avoid a discimination claim and will resent you for possibly not being first choice and giving them maternity leave hassle.

Or they may be grateful for your honesty and be able to completely disregard the pregnancy entirely and not allow it to affect or influence their decision in any way.

Ideally it would be option 3 of course, but on the other hand if you don't tell them before the decision has been made, it's guaranteed that both you and the employer benefit from a decision having been made about your skills, experience and abilities alone, not your personal circumstances.

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