References

[domeafavour]

I left my old job 4 years ago. Well paid financial institution.
Couple of reasons,
1, my H (then BF)and I were having a "secret" relationship as it was very much frowned upon.
2, my boss was an absolute tosser, and did not appreciate me, despite excellent reviews etc.

I had an exit interview, and told HR exactly what I thought about him. I had already told him that he was unfair, I felt unappreciated etc etc but conversation with HR was very thorough. They told me that I could have brought some kind of discrimination case against him.

He has previously been noted on a couple of other exit interviews.

Since the day I left, I have not really spoken to anyone in my old dept.
My H has kept in touch, so they know we got married and had DS.
They all hated the boss, and I hope they know my reasons for leaving.

Now, is he going to be professional and give me a good reference? Officially they can't give references, but I have applied for a job with the same institution and the manager is going to ask around.

I have given other names for references,more senior people than him,and explained the situation a bit but what do you think?

If someone had slagged you off(legitimately, but he is not going to admit that) what kind of reference would you give.

I have spoken to the old HR dept but all I get is the official line, that officially they are not allowed to give references and all references should be directed to HR.

I believe you are entitled to see any reference that he gives, and you could have a claim if you weren't offered the position on the basis of an incorrect reference - although I'm not sure how you would go about that.

I would hope that as your ex-boss is employed by a large financial institution they would have robust HR procedures in place to prevent any managers "going rogue" and writing any old twaddle in a reference. However - I appreciate that your situation is a little more complicated as it is much harder to stop the coffee machine chat, in which he could conceivably slag you off.

I would hope that your prospective new employer would see beyond the office politics - you'll just have to give a blinding interview and convince them that the position has domeafavour written all over it - good luck!

thanks Marlinspike. yes, it's the informal, "do you remember DMAF, she's applied for a job" I am worried about, not the written reference.
one of the names I have given is very senior and well respected and he knew exactly what our boss was like. Hopefully this new manager will figure out all the politics,he has been there a while.

I wonder if we worked for the same tosser person?

It was most satisfying in my exit interview when he told me that the door would always be open for me to say "Not when you're on the other side of it ta!" (his wankerish qualities were well renowned, but even he surpassed himself when he asked me to write my own 'acceptance of resignation' letter so he could sign it ).

As for references, it was my understanding (in our institution at least) that they come from HR and are based on performance reviews etc., not directly written by your manager (cos let's face it, mine couldn't actually manage to do it himself anyway).

Btw I got huge satisfaction about 18 months after I left when I bumped into an old colleague who asked if I'd heard the news - in a reshuffle my boss had been made to re-apply for his own job and HE DIDN'T GET IT!

COCKadoodledooo, I can't believe my old boss is still there, I would love him to get the boot!!

References often come from individual managers and not HR.

I don't think there's much you can do about this situation apart from doing brilliantly in the selection. You can't control the coffee machine talk. And as it was your choice to disclose the issues when you left, (correctly) and your choice to re-apply now, you'll have to accept that there is a risk.

I hope you get the job though.

Many firms now give only a very basic reference sticking to basic factual informarion like dates of employment, type of role and salary at time of departure. Especially if some time has passed since you were there. So if you get one like that, it wouldn't look weird to the next putative employer.

If your old boss is as unpopular and as well known for this sort of thing as you suggest then him slagging you of should only go in your favour.

Most employers nowadays - with any sense - would give a very simple " X worked for me between date A and date B, as "insert job title"

A bad reference leaves the employer hugely exposed to possible legal action by the ex employee.
Even if it's true and they were an appalling employee, it's not worth the risk of legal action for anyone with any sense