Male line manager and arm stroking/massaging etc......how to handle?

[DrNortherner]

We are a team of 4 women at work, we have an acting HOD at the moment who is a bit of a tosser. Think David Brent type. Desperately trying to fit in and get along with us, trying too hard to be nice.

He keeps rubbing our arms and getting too close when talking to us, sometimes coming behind and massaging our shoulders, asking how we are getting on.........we do not feel threatened, he is not being sexual, we just feel uncomfortable.

We are all strong people, but for some reason none of us have the balls to say 'Oi, get your hands orf me' (trying to work out why....)

So, so we:
A) Tell HR
B) Tell him politley to his face as a group, or just 1 of us or
C) Send him an email

Over to you........

Tell him directly one to one and move out of reach every time he does it.

B)

I would say something like, 'Oi get off. I don't do touching with colleagues' or 'Only family and very close friends get to touch me.'

Unwanted touching in the work place is offence, I attended a meeting only yesterday about an issue and this was emphasised several times throughout the meeting as it can be perceived as sexual /abuse even when you are aware that this is not the nature of the touching.
Tell him politely the first time and if it continues then deal with it in the proper manner by reporting to someone higher in the company you work for.
VERY IMPORTANT
Document everything (dates, times, witnesses) no matter how small.

I would sit with a straight back and say 'Sir, may I remind you, I am an Englishwoman, and Englishwomen do not allow such base foreign displays as you are exhibiting here. Please learn to control yourself Mr x lest we return to the savagery from which we have made so much effort to rise'.

Every time he touches you you move away immediately. Next time you away and tell him "Do not do that again." If he carries on tell him you will be making a complaint if he touches you again and if he does, complain.

Make a note of every time it happens and what you say to him.

I was prodded by a HCP and I wish now I had made it known to his employers.

B). Like Spidermama, I would comment openly every time it happens but in a way that allows him to save face.

So, if he touches you, move away instantly and say 'No touchy-feely for me, thanks X' and then change the subject.

I'd freeze his balls - he must surely know?? If you don't want to complain, then very deliberately look at his hands when he does you touch you, slowly raise your head, give him the death ray and slowly shake your head.

If he truly is a David Brent he'll probably do a stupid reaction - you can then in all insincerity tell him "It for your own safety. You don't touch female employees"

"Mr X, while I appreciate that you're a tactile person, your physical contact with us girls could be misconstrued as a sexual overture, so I'll politely ask you to stop."

Like any inappropriate behaviour at work you should tell the person you find it inappropriate. Then if it happens again you should approach HR.

Tell him firmly "I don't like it when you put your hands on me. I don't think it's appropriate in the workplace. Please do not do it again."

And he'll probably be mortified so you may then feel obliged to make him feel better but it's up to you if you want to say something like you know it's hard being new, fitting in blah blah blah. Either way, stick to very clear wording like that above about the touching so he understands.

Heroine you are truly crazy