How / how much to pay family to look after a DC?

[Serennos]

I'm (reluctantly) going btw at the end of the month, and 11mo DS is going to be looked after by DM and DSM for a couple of days each every week (I can work from home on the other day).

Both of them have been swearing blind that they don't want / expect anything for doing this, but as I am well aware of how much a CM could cost, I feel that I ought to give them something for looking after him.

Does anyone have any ideas how / how much to pay them? I don't want to be insulting by either giving too much, or too little - might an alternative to cash be better? What do people do?

I pay MIL £20 a day to have the kids as she only wanted to be reimbursed for her costs (food, petrol etc). My Mum does it for nothing as she is well off and wants to spend time with her grandchildren.

If they are refusing money I would offer them money for costs. But they may still say no - do they both have a fair amount of money or are they struggling financially?

My Mum and Parents in law look after my dd2 one/two mornings a week, they did the same for dd1 (now at school) The money issue was a real bug bear - they wouldn't take anything. I bought flowers every fortnight, wine for my mum!!, if they mentioned something they needed, were looking for something specific ie a new toaster, I would have popped out and got it for them. With my inlaws they are both retired and they were keen on booking last minute holidays so I would give them some holiday spending money.

The one thing I did do was let them muddle on and look after dds in the way they thought was best, ie they allowed her to watch tv, they took her shopping, grandad was a very proud man when he took dd1 to the bookies for her horses!! yes I do believe her third word was "bookies" . I never made a big deal about what they fed her and I never asked them to take her to playgroups, tumble tots etc. My dds have fantastic relationships with both sets of grandparents and I am probably a little

My dd is 14 so it was a few years ago! I went back to work when she was 8 months. My SIL volunteered to watch her for the 3 days a week that I worked. She said she would do it for £5 per day. I refused that and insisted on £10 per day. I also made a point of extra special birthday & christmas pressies for her and my 3 nieces. It was such a relief having someone I could trust rather than the worry of childminders/ nurseries etc. Even now she has a very close relationship with her cousins.

Are they registered childminders? If not you have to be careful how you do this because if found out your paying them it could open a can of worms.

A friend of mine buys extra special birthday and christmas presents for her parents who care for her child whilst she works. This works out better for them and her.