I really don't want to go back to work

[2pink]

Hi, I'm new here...
I'm feeling really unhappy about returning to work in 3 weeks time.
My little boy is 19 weeks old and will be looked after by my partner's mother when I return to work 3 days a week. I know he will be in good hands but I don't want to be without him.
We are renting privately and have a few debts to clear, so I don't think I have the choice to not return to work unless we have some form of money coming in other than just my partners wage.
We have just put in our claim for housing benefit, so fingers crossed!
Currently claiming Child tax credit and child benefit.

Are there any other benefits I could claim?
Any ideas on earning extra money?

Don't want my son to grow up without his mum like I did.

Sorry to go on a bit there, just needed a rant!

If you can't help, I'm sure you sympathise!

Some suggestions: Ask for part time work. By law, your employer has to seriously consider this and offer it unless they have very good reasons why not.
Talk to your benefit office about your options and do your sums carefully.
What do you do at the moment? Do you have skills you could use freelance or on a consultancy basis? Could you work part time in another field if your employer turns you down (which they probably won't)
Talk to your partner. What does he think? Could you both work four days a week to be with your son more? Would he support your decisions to work less/give up work?
I have worked part time since my son was born and I am the main breadwinner. I much prefer it, personally, and enjoy the balance. I totally understand your feelings.

Hi,

I also have mixed feelings about going back to work in two weeks time, 2½ days a week. dd is 27 weeks and will be looked after by the same childminder my ds went to.

However, I think with me the main problem is the major hurdle of actually getting into the new routine of getting the children out the door and actually getting to work!! I'm sure you will be fine once you've worked this one out too.

I went back to work fulltime when ds was four months old and hated it, but at the time I had no choice. I went part- time (3 days) when he was just over a year and it was brilliant. The balance was just about perfect - you still have more time at home than at work, but you've also got your life and your independence back to some extent.

Give it a go and see what happens - you may surprise yourself and your ds will be just fine. If you have debts you will be much better knowing you have some money to spend instead of having to watch every penny - believe me, I've done it and it's no fun at all.

I have no idea what you do or what you earn but if you really don't like it once you've tried it you could work evenings, in a supermarket for example or do mystery shopping. You won't earn a fortune from it - probably £100 a month max - but atleast you can be with your son. Try here for a good site.

Good luck whatever you decide.
xxx

Hey! Another newbie here.
Just reading this has me all weepy! Been back @ work 6mnth,full time first month then 3 days a wk. Ds is 13mnth old. I'm finding it REALLY hard at the mo, just don't wanna leave him. J goes to dp's parents who love him to bits but I don't feel in control, it's like he's their baby. Could just be coz i'm shattered, dp started shifts couple of mnths ago & lates are a killer. Decided J goin childminder one of the 3 days I work so he can mix wi other kids & if I'm honest to loosen 'mil's ' grip.

Have lots of sympathy. I also had to return to work as we have mortgaged ourselves quite highly and I earn a lot more than dh. However, I hate my job and he loves his!! I work in the City and therefore struggle to see my ds more than a couple of hours a day which makes me really sad. Have been back at work for nearly 6 months now and it does get easier once you are in a routine but every so often, things happen to make you focus on what really matters to you. I would much rather be working part-time. It would be ideal for us as ds loves and thrives in his nursery, but my caring sharing family friendly employer said no and no to any flexible working too. It seems quite easy to side-step the issue....My light at the end of the tunnel is that I am expecting again, although will have to go back to work after that which I will dread throughout the maternity leave.
Sorry to add some doom and gloom but I do think at the end of the day that a part-time arrangement can often be the best for both mother and child. Best of luck!

Minkymoo,

I know exactly what you mean about the mil! In my case, it was my mother who had the grip though! ds used to be with her (in MY house - even worse!) one day a week and with childminder for two days. I was much more relaxed on the days he was with the childminder

2pink - chin up, it does get better.

I was really down when had to go back to work, did 4 days initially and have gone down to a 3 days in the past 2 weeks. I find it fantastic, its the best of both worlds as I have 4 full days with dd and also have 3 days with adults that don't need looking after (alegedly).

Your son will NOT be growing up without his mum, even if you worked full time he wouldn't. Babies have lots of love to go round but mums and dads are top of the list, you will still get the best smiles .

No advice on benefits I'm afraid but I am sure someone else will.

lucieB - you said your employer said no to flexible working, but if your child is under 6 they have to either try and accomodate you or give you a VERY good reason why they can't? Have they given you a good reason? If not, you could contact the DWP or the Maternity Alliance, because you have the right to some consideration by your employer. Plus even if they honestly can't change your hours, legally they should be trying to find you another job at similar pay which would be better hours-wise.