sympathy please

[LovelyJudy]

i've just had an interview for a senior version of the job i have been doing part time for 10 years, full time for a couple before that. It involves going back to work nearly full time. No one else has applied for the job so they almost have to give it to me. However, i was crap, crap, crap in the interview, which was conducted by 3 managers i know really well and who know me and my work really well. it was excruciating, embarrassing, i feel totally destroyed. I have sat and cried for the first time in months at the sheer awkwardness of it. There were so many painful silences, i so wanted to just say, you know what, i'll get my coat. but of course i had to sit through it. now even though they might give me the job, i feel as though i shouldn't accept it. The thing is I can do my job, but I can't talk the talk, i don't have the interview vocabulary. i just want to crawl under a rock. Pat my head please.

nasty interviews are just HORRID

leaves you feeling all naked

You CAN do it, you know that. They are far more interested in the fact that you can do it, rather than talk the talk. But if it really worries you, you can do courses on learning how to talk that way.

Just remember, is easier to learn that than being sat in a job you can't do ;-).

I am patting furiously for you! I am tempted to say it probably wasn't as bad as you think but you are best placed to judge that. Its done now. Get some chocolates/wine/whatever you fancy out and try not to mull over it. Easy to say. At worse you won't get the job and you can learn from the experience. At best you will get the job and still learn form the experience. Of course you should accept it if you get it.

Thank you. i can't quite understand why i'm not relieved that it's over, but instead just dwelling on the horror, the horror. hey ho, maybe i should give myself a glass of christmas cheer. wish it wasn't dh's office do tonight. could do with a shoulder.

Would it feel right to drop one of them an email saying you're concerned the interview went badly but you're confident that you can do the job and hope they judge you on your work not your skills as an interviewee. Sometimes even people who know you well need to be reminded of what to look for in a candidate.

I read a book about interview techniques when I was up for this new job, as I hadn't interviewed in years. It said that the hardest interviews to do well in are the ones where you already know and work with the interviewers because it feels false to sell yourself. (Um, that's meant as reassuring btw - it's not you, it's the situation you were in.)

If you makes you feel any better it was probably hard for the interviewers too.

I hate interviewing people I already know. It feels daft telling them about the organisation/role. Although I have to go through the same spiel as for an external candidate I know that they already know it and it feels so false going through the motions.

Good luck though - and of course you should accept it if offered, you know you can do it.

thank you. wise words ladies. i have beer now, which is helping too. I think i'm past the wallowing and sobbing stage so it's safe to go and read a Good Book in bed.

hav you heard?

Thanks for asking! Sorry I didn't check back. Yes, I got the job, and the feedback was that i didn't do myself justice in the technical part of the interview, and they could tell i was uncomfortable, but i did fine, scored higher than their minimum requirement, and deserve the job. Phew! Start on 24th Jan.

Great news - good luck with your new job.