I'm panicking - how the hell does everyone else do this?

[imnotperfect]

I'm currently on maternity leave, and my eldest son started school this September. I;m panicking because I can't figure out how I can physically go back to work. Both myself and DH work, both full-time.

I realise that I will need to go part-time, and put baby in nursery (the cost makes me sick, but we'll manage). Between us my husband and I have 8 weeks holiday that can be booked, but with half term and term times my son is off for 12 weeks of the year - what the hell should I do about holiday day-care, and what sort of cost is it coming in as. We're not on high wages, putting baby in nursery will stretch us, I don't know if we can afford another.

No family to help, and we're very insular so no friends who I'd trust enough...what do other people do? Help

Nurseries are normally open all year, so I don't know why you are worrying about half-term and holidays.

How about a CM? Might be cheaper than nursery.

Sorry if I wasn't clear, nursery is fine for my youngest, this is my eldest I'm worrying about who has just started full time school. I can change my working hours to fit in around school hours so I can pick him up, but I can't take enough time off when he's on holiday. will a CM work on just a school holiday basis? Could I get help with the cost of a CM? I need to get this sorted cos otherwise I'm down the job centre cos I'm too stupid to work out childcare for 2 kids!!!

You could perhaps find a CM who will take baby full time and your DS in the holidays.

Or you could get a nanny.

Does his school run a holiday club.? Ours does on the school site for £20 a day

Bonsoir you seem to have missed the part where she mentions her elder son being at school...

most people seem to use a combination of grandparents, taking holidays, swaps with friends and holiday clubs/ activity camps.

many schools have a holiday club run by the after school club people.

my dds old nursery will take kids who have left to start school back in the hols - they are registered to take kids up to age 8. It is expensive though.

Our childminder does both after school care and all day in the hols (three days a week). Some childminders will do school holiday care only, but obviously they will prioritise children who are there all year. If you use a childminder for your younger child as well, they are more likely to accommodate the other. Maybe cheaper too.

Otherwise there are plenty of holiday clubs round here.

To be honest, this is why most mothers of school age children work part-time/term-time jobs/self-employed with flexible hours. Or they earn lots of money and have a nanny!

Good luck!

Thanks, I'll defo ask at the school about holiday clubs, I think I just presumed thay dont do them them because when I asked about after school activities for reception class they told me thay don't do them for his age group.

Anyone know the average cost of a CM? My youngest will be 8 months when I have to go back to work, do you know if they take babies this young, or am I better off putting him in a nursery at this age?

surely your husband gets full time holiday allowance and if you are only working part time this will be less days holiday to cover?

I would advise getting some quotes from nurseries/ CM and then checking the online tax credits calculator to see if you are entitled to help with childcare costs. We get about 1/3 of our childcare fees paid. Also check if yours or your DHs work offer Childcare Vouchers as these can also save you money.

BTW, I would love to be able to afford a nanny!!! no chance, and like I said its just me and dh, no friends, grandparents or relatives, which I think is what makes this so difficult. Everyone I've asked says they go sisters/brothers/parents ... no such luck for us!!

DH does get fulltime holiday allowance which is 4 weeks out of an entire year - that doesn't even cover the summer holidays, which is why I need more options. As for me I work in a large supermarket, all the school holidays are booked up as soon as the holiday year ends (iyswim)I won't have as much holiday entitlement when I go part-time.

I asked at a local nursey for their daily cost which they told me was £35 per day, which would work out at almost £600 per month ...I only earn on average £550.

I think it that's all you earn you should think about working outside normal office hours, then you won't need childcare. Is that a possibility? I have one dd at nursery and one at before school and after school club and we cover holidays ourselves and it's still about £1100 per month.

It's a pain-I have the same problem, but have found holiday clubs at one of the local private schools and also with an organisation called kings camps (can't do links, but they run in a few towns). DS loves both. Some councils also run camps, which are cheaper, and I know my friend uses the club at a nearby state school, even though her ds doesn't go to that one.

We have a great holiday club but also local authorities often (until now, with cuts coming) run subsidised activities. For example from age 5 our kids can do football weeks at a VERY low cost (15 quid for a week for 2, 10-4). This is a fantastic help so you should find out via your local leisure services if they offer something and book early!

imnotperfect if you found a CM that could do your DS1 drop and pickup that would mean you would have a less complicated life - could drop both children at CM, she takes DS1 to school and keeps 8mo at home for home-away-from-home type care, then picks up DS1 from school. Then your children have time together until you or DH pick them both up at same time. If they're caring for DS1 before/after school then they're more likely to take him during holidays if needed. You'd still need to cover care when your CM decided to take holiday herself but in my experience they usually take a max of 4 weeks a year.

I chose to use an outstanding CM for my DS from 8 mo over a nursery, In my opinion (and I realise this is just my opinion) I think a good childminder is better than a good nursery for this age. I think nurseries tend to be too noisy/busy for little ones, whereas the right childminder will go to playgroups etc but then home again for more quiet times, good long naps, personal attention etc. I think when it comes to work nurseries can also be more inflexible, whereas if you get a good relationship with your CM then you're more likely to able to arrange hours and days that fit with shifts or cope with lateness if you have to commute.

Good luck working it out. CM fees are usually comparable to local nursery daily rates but it depends where you are.

Agree with Lady - CM that does school pick up and drop off at your ds school and could take your baby would be best option.

If not then DS - After school club, and then the CM in the holidays.

Don't take holiday together unless you are going away.

Camp Beaumont Day Camps are good if you have them in your area

Otherwise try local independent schools, they tend to play host to holiday clubs.