Bit of advice please

[FlightofFancy]

Have recently gone back to work and having a bit of a wobble. I'd really looked forward to going back - I love my DS to bits, but I'm not very good at the full-time mummy stuff and brain was going mushy. However, I've got a few challenges and not sure what to do at the moment - will try to keep it short, but any help/advice much appreciated.

Background is have been with the company for over 5 years, through various acquisitions and redundancies, and generally think I am/was valued. Have always been trusted to work a bit flexibly - happy to put in extra hours as needed, in return for a blind eye turned to the occasional long lunch. Have worked from home on/off for several years.

While I was on ML, new boss was brought in between me and director. Was a bit 'huh' about this as seemed like demotion, but thought would be good opportunity to step away from heat a bit. New boss seemed very nice, and she was very happy to agree flexible working - 5 days a week but 2 in office 10-4, then 3 from home 8.30-6 to make up full time hours of 37.5. Did this over email, and was 'logged' with HR. I didn't do a formal flexible working request, and didn't get a new contract as overall hours are the same.

However, very shortly after I got back to work, said boss was sacked. So I'm back reporting to original director while they recruit a replacement. Turns out that boss hadn't mentioned flexible working to director, and he's not massively happy about it. CEO has currently got a thing against home working (though there's massive precident for it in the business and for me personally).

They want more of me in the office. Problem with this is that nearest office is about an hour away, so I just can't do 9-5.30 with an 8-6 nursery window even if I wanted to. I've explained this to director and he's said we'll review in 3 months. It's not the kind of company/role where you can clock off at 5.30 and forget about work until the following morning anyway.

Obviously I'm working my arse off during those 3 months to prove it works, but I'm a bit concerned about the future. Quite apart from that DS has had the usual settling in at nursery series of illnesses and hasn't managed a full week yet - so I've already had to WFH and take annual leave at short notice. I hate the fact that I had a moment of really resenting my DS for getting 'that call' again from nursery.

I really don't want to get 'official' about it if I can help it - it's the kind of company where they don't worry to much about HR policy (will always manage to find an excuse) and I really don't want to be marked as a trouble-maker.

Options as I see it are:

• wait for new boss to start and see if they're any more supportive (unlikely, as they won't recruit anyone who's too 'soft')
• speak to HR and find out if they count my request as formal flexible working request and if not proceed with official request (will really piss people off)
• stick it out until the new year and look for a new job nearer home (think this is the long term plan anyway, but worried about better-the-devil-you-know - and anyway, aren't there about 1,000 applicants for every job anyway
• propose that I'm in the office every day, but reduce hours to 9.30-4 (not sure I can afford this - no idea how to calculate reduction in salary).

I really cannot afford to be out of work so need to fix this somehow. Thanks for reading massive post - feel more wobbly now have got it down in writing.

Hmm, difficult.

I think that whilst there is a chance that you can get your current arrangement agreed at the end of the 3 month period, you shouldn't rock the boat.

Can you get your DH/DP or any other rellies to be on hand to help, just for the 3 month period, so you're not the first one on call if your DS is ill? (tbh, this responsibility should be shared between partners anyway if at all possible).

At the end of the 3 months, if your current arrangement is not viewed favourably, then you could try with the formal application for flexible working. But tbh its pretty discretionary, so its unlikely to be accepted if they've given you a trial period and it hasn't worked.

In the meantime, definitely keep an eye out for alternative jobs, update your cv and get in touch with any helpful contacts or recruitment consultants. No harm in that anyway.

You also need to work out what the minimum hours you need to do financially are. A quick google throws up lots of sites that will calculate the net of tax pay for you eg here. To get your part time gross pay, just divide down the number of working hours you intend to do over the total number of working hours in your week (e.g. if you only take half hour for lunch and do 9.30-4 x 5 days, its 30/37.5 gives 80% of your normal full time gross salary).

So when you worked for this direcor before ML you were doing some working from home, but it wasn't child driven, is that right? Has he said he doesn't like working from home before, or is it all coming from what the CEO has been saying?

If it's because of the CEO, is this likely to 'blow over' once the CEO has got their bee in a bonnet about something else? Or do you think it will lead to a sustained shift in the working culture?

TBH, if your boss has agreed to see how it goes, I'd go with it for now and see what happens with the new boss. It might help to ask your current director what he is worried about, i.e. how the success or otherwise of the 'trial' will be measured, so that you can make sure you prove it's OK. Otherwise, he might just say 'I don't really think it's working' without having to think of anything tangible to justify that.

Thanks Apuski. I suspect you're right - it's a case of sit tight and hope it blows over. It's definitely the CEO with bee in bonnet - it remains to be seen how long that'll last.

Luckily my DH has covered a few days - we're pretty good at splitting childcare stuff - and I managed to rope my mum in to do a few days (though she lives 200miles away, so not a long-term option).