lack of confidence

[madamecholet43]

I have just started back as a parttime freelance magazine designer and am really struggling. I used to be really good, but stopped work after having two children. Does anyone have any tips to get back to speed at work, and boosting confidence? I feel really low and stressed out. Thanks.

I can relate to your post because when I started freelancing as a journalist after having two kids I felt totally out of my depth as things had changed so much(Quark used to be standard for subbing 6 years ago, now InDesign is). I felt scared, totally out of my comfort zone, chronically lacking in confidence - and the fact I didn't get repeat bookings like before made me feel even worse.

Are there any courses you could do to get your mojo back? Or could you do some voluntary work to practice your design stuff without the pressure of having to perform at your best otherwise you're out. Remember, you were brilliant once, it's just having kids and being away from work for a while has thrown off kilter your sense of self and self-esteem.

I did both these things (training and voluntary work) and after 6 years I have finally got the job I want. I feel very lucky and would say to you to believe in yourself. I still have days when I feel low and stressed out, but want my experience to inspire you: ie: if I can get up to speed enough to bag a job, then yes, YOU CAN too!

Best of luck!!!

Yep. Rapidly discovering that low confidence is a recurring theme for mums returning to work.

Maybe you need to give yourself more time to get back into it. Do you like your work?

I went back after a year of mat leave, even doing some project work for my employer during mat leave, and still feel strangely lacking in the decision-making confidence that I had before by the bucketload.

I think all the physiological and emotional upheaval of becoming a parent does make you think differently. Not sure what the answer is, but if your work means enough to you then I'm sure you will put the energy and passion in, you'll start getting the results you want and then your confidence will start to return.

Sounds familiar to me too. I went back 3 days a week when my dd was 11 months old and it's only now, 2 years later and after being made redundant, that I can see just how different I was when I went back. For me, I think a lot of it was that other people assumed I had changed much more than I actually had - I still loved my job and wanted to do my best, but felt I was having to prove myself all the time.

Like the others who've responded here, I do think that time helps. I'm now working freelance as well - ironically, something I don't think I would have had the confidence to do BEFORE I had my dd. But now I know this is the best way to do work that I love and spend time with my little girl who I also love. I've had the time to work out what I really want to do, not what I have to do because that's the option that's there.

Do people think that some kind of workshop to boost confidence and prepare for returning to work would be helpful?

Are you feeling stressed because of the job, or because you're balancing work and home priorities? It can be very difficult to get back into your work if at the back of your mind you're worrying about doing the school pick up, or concerned about your child. If that's the case, then spend some time making sure that all your arrngements are working OK, perhaps arrange for dp to share the drop-off / pick-ups (even for a temporary period) so you can focus on work.

If you feel that you have fallen behind in terms of technical skills at work then investigate training.

Are there skills that you have developed / refined as a parent? You may find that you've become better at time-management, prioritisation, negotiating because those are the things you've being doing with your children.