daughter who wants more attention

[imnotadaughter]

My fourteen year old dd1 says that i give here too little attention, she says that i always give her brother more attention, í´m a all day working mother i cant give my children that much attention, its true i never do anything with her and i´m feeling guilty.What can i do?

Put her brother to bed half hour before her and paint her nails/chat/play a game

Do something with her on Saturday. Make a plan.

Why not ask her what she would like you to do differently?

Listen to what she says and reflect (honestly) on whether there's truth in it. If you're focusing more on your ds then shes got a point.
I don't think the working issue is necessarily relevant- in fact its very good for your dd to see that you are out earning a living rather than sitting at home while she's at school all day! But you need to think about whether you're prioritising your ds over her

Maybe ask her to help you with cooking dinner so you can chat and catch up. or to help with some housework on Saturday mornings, so you and she can have some girly time together later in the day.

You know I don't think it would matter what we do I think children are always going to say things like this aren't they?

I said it to my mum I'm sure I did but the truth of it was my mum did her best now I'm older I see that she had a lot on her plate, I remember being about 11yrs old and writing a list of things I wanted to do with my mum, like get her to teach me to knit and do baking with me etc but at the time she had my older sister who was a drama queen, my younger brother who was only a toddler and my 2 step brothers who stayed most weekends and she worked from home doing over locking, worked as an auxilary nurse part time and was studying for uni to become a nurse, of course she couldn't fit in the time to teach me to knit, I was at my dads every other weekend as well so not like I was there all the time either.

My dd has said things like this to me as well and I try my best, I work from home as a childminder so I can collect her from school and be at home but the truth of it is that I look after 5 other children all a lot younger than her and I can't give her 1-1 attention curing the week, once everyone has gone home it's 6.30pm, I'm exhausted, have to tidy up, do our dinner and dd goes to guides one night a week, I also have dd2. At weekends Dd1 gets more 1-1 or even 1-2 time than I ever did yet still says it. T%his weekend for example I watched Tv with just her on fri night once dd2 was in bed and her dad had gone out, I let her stay up past her bedtime and she watched me do some painting (I'm working on a canvass at the moment) then on saturday afternoon, dh took dd2 out and dd1 did some painting with me, sunday evening I helped her with her homework. I do my best and that's all anyone can ever do imo.