Full time work is killing me....

[hollysaysboo]

I started a new job back in the summer after being on mat leave for 18 months and I don't think I realised just how hard it was going to be working full time and having a small child.

I have to drive an hour each way and although I'm now working compressed hours for 9 days, which gives me every other Fri off this now means I am often working 9 hour days, getting up at 6am and not getting home until 6pm.

I am just plain knackered and I desperately want to resign and look for something part time more locally but I'm terrified. I've never been out of work and although we could manage on my DP's salary for a while it would be tight. I also worry it will look rubbish on my CV that I only worked for a few months before quitting.

I have started applying for other jobs so I am doing something proactive. Do I leave this job or wait until something better comes along and then leave?

Sorry I'm moaning on. I know I should be grateful to be in employment.

Is going even 4 days a week (not compressed) an option?

Yes can't you cut your hours where you are or is it the actual job you dislike as well?

For me personally, the key to work fitting in with my life is a short commute and some flexibility in hours. It makes such a huge difference.

Having said that, it's definitely easier to find a job when you're in a job. Could you start looking now rather than resigning?

If you've got some room in your budget then it would be worth taking a drop in pay, either from salary or shorter hours, to make it work better for your family/sanity. Possibly worth negotiating with your current employer (although presumably you've already done this to get compressed hours), but tbh the 1 hr each way commute would be a deal breaker for me unless I desperately needed the money in which case obv any employment has to do.

One solution would be to resign and not mention this short term job - just make it look like you took a longer maternity leave?
Life's too short to do something you hate especially if you don't need the money.

Nope. I asked my line manager but the way it works in the NHS is that once you lose those hours, it gets taken out of the budget and he won't be able to get them back.

But if it's a choice between losing a percentage of your salary and giving up the job completely, then isn't is worth the sacrifice? Tbh when I went 4 days I originally meant it shortish term due to the drop in salary. Now though there's no way I'd go back 5 days, even if I had the choice.

I think I totally underestimated what the commute would be like. I used to train it into central London before I had my DS and I thought driving would be easier but it's even worse. Some days the journey back can take an hour and a half.

I know I'm overdoing it because I keep coming down with bug after bug.

I suppose I keep thinking oh it will get better but it never seems to!

I would love to work a 4 day week but it's a total no-go and tbh that wouldn't solve the whole commuting problem.

I really appreciate your comments though. I know there's no easy answer.

I feel for you. Do you have to drive - if there is a public transport option at least you could eat breakfast on the way/read a book/have a rest.

Are you happy with your childcare? Do you have a DP pulling their weight?

Could you do the same job nearer home?

It is easier to get a job from a job, that's definitely true. Can you get a cleaner, do internet shopping, free up some time?

Can your DP do more?

My DP is brilliant and we have a cleaner who comes once a fortnight so that helps and DS has settled well with his CM.

As for transport, driving is the only option as I work out in the sticks.

That's what I'm looking at Acanthus. My job in the NHS could come up at a hospital nearer to me.

Maybe it's a case of batten down the hatches for a while then. Cancel all house projects, do all shopping online, go to bed early regularly, lower your standards of housework and see where you go - new job? new baby?

thanks for all your messages.

HR have just informed me that they've mucked up my hours and I've got to work an extra hour a week now so that may prove to be the final straw for me!

holly - could you ask your manager if he/she would consider making your job a jobshare? They would not lose the hours (budget) then.

Well I have a sort of happy ending to this tale of woe!

After talking to my manager yesterday it was clear that I was not going to be able to reduce my hours so I have handed in my notice but it will take a few months to find my replacement so I'm being kept on as a temp for 3 days. It means it will keep the wolves at the door for a while until I find something else and will be much more manageable. He said he'd give me a glowing reference which is great and it gives me time to look for another job.

Agedkness - he did suggest a job share but the pay would be far too low long term.

Once again, thanks for all your words of advice.

Great! Are you sure you shouldn't take the job share for now? How confident are you that you will find something new before they replace you?