Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

my dream job has come up, BUT...

4 replies

badgeroo · 24/11/2010 09:21

Just when i thought everything was settled, I find myself in a major muddle! I'm back at work now after a few months of maternity leave, and I have to say that they have been really nice to me as far as working family friendly hours, and occasionally working from home goes. We live close to my work, and quality of life is good - effort expended on house to make it comfortable, nearby childcare, local schools seem okay, all very easy.

But despite the very practical benefits of my current job, I'm not happy with work. i used to be, certainly before my maternity leave, but things just don't seem right at the moment. We have a new line manager who has a remarkable ability to wind people up. Some of my closest friends / colleagues have left in the last year or so, we're a bit understaffed, but also with the threat of redundancies and altered working patterns ahead. Obviously I need to put this in the context of comments above, but it is starting to wear me down.

I have various options. I like the kind of work that I do, jobs are not easy to come by at the moment, and option A, putting up and shutting up is certainly feasible. Option B: I could try to negotiate part-time working, which would make work a less significant part of my life and probably make me worry less about the internal politics. But I wonder if reducing hours might be seen as = reducing commitment and put me in the firing line for, well, firing, if the cuts do come. [I know legally it shouldn't, but even so...].

Plan C involves a more dramatic change. A really attractive looking job has been advertised by another employer. I have the kind of skills and background that they are looking for (no guarantee that others don't as well though!), it would be a rung up the ladder, slightly better pay, and probably more security, as well as getting me out of the current environment. The trouble is, the job is not near enough to where we live that we could keep up the family life that we now have. Clearly we could move house, but DP is not keen. He worries about whether we could sell at the moment, whether we could find anything comparable at the other end, and whether we could sort out childcare, schools etc that would work as well as they do at the moment. I see his point of view. At the end of the day it is 'just' a job, and family and home life are important. But we managed to make our current set-up work from an implausible start. I don't see why we couldn't do it again. Am I being really selfish to even think about it? I'm not sure that he understands how I feel, despite my best efforts. Is my position just mad?! Anyone else gone through the same kind of thought process?

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 24/11/2010 09:23

How close to home does your DH work?
What, realistically would that mean for you now, when your child starts nursery / school?

badgeroo · 24/11/2010 10:07

Good questions SPB.
DH commutes to work, so is not available at the start and end of the day for nursery (and, when we get there, school) pickups. I'm not either. I can manage the nursery arrangements fine, but realistically once we start planning around a school day that finishes at 3pm, we'll need to rely on a childminder or after school club at the end of the day.
If I was to relocate with work, we would want to move house, but I would hope that we could still manage with me doing the morning stuff, and a similar arrangement at the end of the day.
DH can get to his current job from our current location and from the new one. It would be easier and quicker from the new location, but would probably mean driving rather than taking the train. He has a car though. It would also mean (I assume) that he would be home earlier, thinking about the arrangements at the end of the school day)
On the downside, it would be a dislocation for us all. Would a pre-schooler mind? I'm thinking that the time to make such a move is probably before school-age, assuming I have a choice!
Thanks for the reply.

OP posts:
pipkin35 · 24/11/2010 11:05

I don't see that you would have anything to lose by at least applying for this dream job.

Obviously after discussion with your DH.

If you get an interview, go from there. The application will give you a focus and some hope. The interview if you get one will give you confidence. The feedback from the interview will give you more ideas about the reality.

An option could be not selling your place just yet, and if you need to move then ren ting for a while to see how the market goes.

Like you've said before, you've done it once - you could do it again.

Of course home and family life are more important (I'm also in a job I'm not that keen on at the moment for the ease of family but hoping to consider retraining) - but moving a pre-schooler would be easier now before they start school - rather than in a year or two when you start to - possibly - become really unhappy where you are?!

stevienicks · 11/12/2010 18:46

You are not alone my lovely, I have found someone that thinks like me. What ever way you look at it, its all hard work. If your DP is not keen on the moving, the changing job etc its even more difficult.

Go for the job and see what happens if you get the job then worry about it then. When your little one starts school it opens up a new world for you and friends you meet at the school gate may be able to advise you on childcare options.

Can you afford to give up work until DD or DS (not sure what you have) starts school.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page