Business trip to Germany next week- what if I refuse?

[Pendulum]

I'm due to travel next week and spend two days and nights in Cologne.

At the best of times I hate leaving the DCs to go on a trip and am terrified of flying. Having seen the news about the terrorism threat today I am really unhappy about the whole thing. I know how unlikely it is that anything will actually happen but I feel as though I am unnecessarily putting myself in a risky situation and that is not fair on the DC.

My boss is a decent sort and would not force me to go but he doesn't seem to give this sort of thing a moment's thought and will think I am a) odd and b) a pain in the neck.

Am interested to know whether anyone else has refused to travel in similar circumstances and what the outcome was.

If travel and flying is part of your job and you don't like flying or travel then it would be reasonable for you employer to get rid of you if you refused to go.

Can you go by train? Can you drive? Take a coach. If its just the flying that is the problem there are other ways to get to Koln.

TBH I think you're being a bit silly over the whole thing, you're more likley to get killed on the way to work than you are in a terror attack.

So instead of putting your DCs at risk you might as well just resign now and stay at home

I think you need to think if this is really about a) a terror alert or b) about you not wanting to leave you DC for a few days and then think about if this is the right job for you or if you should do something else.

Harsh but that's the way I see it.

Seeyoukay, your points are rational but my anxiety is not.

Of your two options, the answer is that I'm not too keen on b) (leaving the DC) but I tolerate it. What I am particularly not keen on is a).

Leaving aside whether the job is ultimately right for me or not (I am coming to my own conclusions about that), I do wonder if it is unreasonable of me to ask not to fly into a situation that is viewed as high-risk.

Flying to Germany is hardly high-risk, though, is it? And for 2 days? I don't see how your employer could be sympathetic unless one of your dc is a young baby.

How about getting some treatment for your anxiety?

It's not high risk flying to Germany. If they were asking you to go to Pakistan or Columbia, then you would be more justified (and yes, my employer has asked me to go to very real high risk places, and I refused, but that was with a severe kidnap/terrorism risk and they weren't happy when I refused).

You do sound like maybe you are getting very anxious and could do with some help

It is only reasonable to refuse if an official travel alert is placed on the country (there's a govt website somewhere and Germany sure as hell isn't on it). If you really don't want to go then you could try to claim it is unreasonable for you to travel because of childcare needs, but don't try the terrorism card because it will cut no ice with anyone.

If your job entails travel as a normal part of the role and you can't face doing it then I think the fairest thing is to sit down with your boss and explain that, bearing in mind that there are only two outcomes and you can't control what they are. They will either be (1) he understands and this gets taken away from your duties or (2) you agree that the role is no longer suitable and begin to look for something else. Think long and hard over whether you want to have such a conversation and if now is the right time to have it. If it is then go ahead, and if it isn't then do the Germany trip and start working out what to do next.

Ooh, Cologne will be lovely at this time of year. I'll go instead!!

Sorry, that's not helpful is it!

Seriously, if you have a problem with flying, get the train - 1 change in Brussels - takes about 4 hours.

Germany high risk? Have I missed something? The Foreign Office put travel alerts on high risk areas, don't they? Not Germany I'm sure.

Don't claim your employer is trying to send you somewhere high risk and that's what the problem is. The problem is you are afraid of flying. There's no shame in that, lots of people are, but by claiming you don't want to go because you feel your employer is sending you somewhere dangerous you are not going to sound reasonable at all.

You say your boss 'doesn't seem to give this sort of thing a moment's thought'. What sort of thing? You are afraid of flying, have you discussed it with him at all? Explain it to him - you say he would not force you to go. But do be honest about your reasons otherwise he will think you are off and a pain in the neck.

Explore train options before speaking to him as well.

Go here for train info - it's very quick and easy.

Thanks for the train info, Bramshott. But I think I may not have expressed myself clearly enough - most of you seem to think I am disguising my fear of flying behind an excuse of a terrorism alert.

It's true, I hate flying. But I do it as part of my job, I have done it for the last 6 years, and in fact I have only just got back from a trip. It's only a few times a year so I grit my teeth and do it.

With next week's trip, I am not "playing the terrorism card", I am genuinely disturbed by the reports coming out of Germany. It would be the same if it was a very specific threat against particular sites in London for next week. What is very interesting to me is that no-one who has replied seems to think it is anything to be concerned about in the slightest. This does make me think that my anxiety levels might be different from the norm.

London has had a really high security alert rating since the bombings on the underground. Most people have no idea that this is the case. Would you think twice about going to London? Germany's security rating is/was much lower. And why speak about "specific sites" in London, which you would avoid, but this seems to be the entire country that is worrying you?

You could go on the train if it's worrying you so much, as Bramshott has said - it's an easy journey, and probably not much longer once you've undergone the whole palaver of security at the airport.

Actually having done a quick google I do see where you are coming from, the bit about concrete threat and end of November would worry me a bit about flying into Cologne Airport. However I would go by train, the main station is very central and brings you out right by the Cathedral. It will be lovely with the Christmas markets this time of year.

Thanks WynkenBlynkandNod, I have probably read more news reports around the topic than most. As your search probably showed there have been warnings relating to next week in particular sites in named towns in Germany, including the airports and the Christmas markets (which is a planned social event for my trip).

Anyway, maybe I should have rephrased my question. I wasn't meaning to ask AIBU not to want to travel to Germany (in which case you have definitely given me the answer yes) but rather, is the fact that this all makes me very anxious something that a reasonable employer would accept. I should add that I'm not going out there to clinch a huge deal or anything, it's really a team building exercise. But based on your answers, again I can conclude that no, they won't be likely to be particularly aware of the reports or to accept my preference not to go.

(The "you"s in the second para addressed to all, not to WynkandBlynkandNod in particular.)

To be honest, whilst they may be aware of the reports, I think they probably won't accept your preference not to go. Like Flowery said, Germany is not 'high risk' in the standard sense of the word for International Travel (ie it's not as if they're wanting you to go to DRC or somewhere like that).

I'd be very careful of bringing the fact you have DC's into any conversation with your boss - if one of my team said that to me, my first thought would be 'so you're saying your life is more valuable because you have children...' Whilst to you and your kids that may be the case, everyone's life is just as valuable to someone and to a good boss all employees lives are valued irrespective of their doemstic circumstances.

If you really feel you can't go then I suspect you'll have to say this and then suck down whatever consequences there are unfortunately. The bottom line is if doing something that is part of your job is making you this anxious your employer may begin to wonder if the job is for you - the same way that if someone in a high pressure (in other ways) job is getting so anxious they can't do the job it might not be for them...

Very sound advice Acekicker.

Different jobs have different pressures. Travel may be something that is your particular 'hot spot' but for others it might be meeting tight deadlines, dealing with difficult, confrontational situations, public speaking, working weekend shifts......

End of the day, if this is part of your job requirements, you need to think about whether you're really suited to it.

If you don't go who will cover the trip and what will be the consequences long term for your position?

If you are worried about the flying then go on the train, it's really easy.

Security alerts change all the time and if you work in any big city things could happen, but then again you could get run over crossing the road. Do we say all parents shouldn't go to work when security increases - no, if we're part of the workforce, or we live in the area, we just have to get on with it.

Don't mean to sound harsh, I'm sure fear of flying can be horrible, but there are courses and help you can get to address the issue.

Thanks for your input everyone. Think I'm just going to have to neck and extra large G&T and get on the plane.

Longer term though, many of you are right that the job and I may no longer be a great fit.

you can get to cologne quite quickly via eurostar if you don*t like flying.