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Original poster

Would you take this job?

20 replies

maybemore · 15/11/2010 16:15

I have been offered a very part-time job for a charity. The salary is way way lower than what I am used to but I went for it because it was handy and local and the people seem nice.

My issue: I am actively trying to get pregnant (fingers crossed I may be already). I won't start the job until January. Am I being unfair to them to take this job with the intention of leaving and then them having to rerecruit all over again (I wouldn't return to it if I took maternity). Or since they are paying me peanuts and know they are getting a total bargain (they admitted this) should I just go for it.

Morally I feel mean and feel they may be angry with me once I start and then fess up (assuming I am successful getting preggers) but I could do with five or six months of pocket money.

I remember when I didn't have kids I recruited a manager who then admitted she was pregnant and I felt very betrayed that she'd taken the job and that I had turned down good candidates although admittedly here this is a very junior role.

OP posts:

AMumInScotland · 15/11/2010 16:26

Personally, I'd feel bad doing that as they would have to spend money recruiting again when you left. I'd probably contact the person offering the job to say that its possible you may be pg, or get pg in the near future, and do they want to go ahead with the offer in light of that? If you really are a bargain, they may be happy to take you on that basis and you can be comfortable that you've been honest.

If you needed the job to pay the rent, I'd maybe say different, but if its just about pocket money, then I think the morality is different.

seeyoukay · 15/11/2010 16:27

Who you trying to convince that you're doing the right thing. Us or yourself?

If you have to convince yourself even if its legal you probably won't feel good doing it so why put up with feeling bad for several months?

If you don't need the money (by pocket money) I assume you don't then perhaps volunteer and let them get someone in that maybe does need the money.

moomaa · 15/11/2010 16:34

I would say take the job. It will be clear from your dates that you didn't know you were pregnant when interviewed even if you are pregnant when you start. Why shouldn't you have the job and the money, regardless of what you will do with it.

Also, it's not just about pocket money, you will qualify for SMP which will be thousands added all up (for the record I am not working and will recieve no SMP/maternity allowance for DC3).

If you feel bad hop over to the thread in AIBU where someone is being totally slatted for daring to suggest it was annoying for a teacher to effectively do what you are suggesting.

IamnotStiller · 15/11/2010 16:39

If it was a job requiring lots of training before you can be of benefit to them then I would say it is a little unfair to take it. As it sounds pretty straight forward I would think that they will be able to replace you quite easily if / when you go on maternity leave.

On the other hand you cannot be expected to put your life on hold whilst trying for a baby and you might work there for a while before you fall pregnant anyway.

Lougle · 15/11/2010 17:06

Ummm, I am not a feminist by any stretch of the imagination. But women up and down the country have FOUGHT for anti-discrimination laws, to stop pregnancy being an issue in employment. Why on earth would you refuse a post on the basis that you might become pregnant? You must have read threads ranging from 'OMG I am pregnant!' to 'Trying for 6 years' - how long should a woman who may TTC and may get pregnant turn down jobs for??

Take the job. It is of no concern to anyone that you may or may not become pregnant soon. All telling them would do is put them in the posistion of being asked if they want to break the law.

Faaamily · 15/11/2010 22:12

Totally agree with Lougle. Take the job!

Stase · 15/11/2010 22:28

Couldn't have put it better! Take the job!

suzikettles · 15/11/2010 22:37

"I'd probably contact the person offering the job to say that its possible you may be pg, or get pg in the near future, and do they want to go ahead with the offer in light of that?" Well they certainly wouldn't withdraw the offer because that would be illegal...

I agree with Lougle. You're not pregnant - not that it would matter if you were - they have decided that you are the best person for the job. Take the job, do it to the very best of your ability and let the future take care of itself.

TheFarSide · 15/11/2010 22:38

Are you KIDDING? Take the job!!!

Pay attention to what Lougle says.

In addition to the legal argument, there is also the political argument - if you do go on to have a child, you will face YEARS OF UNPAID LABOUR raising a future member of the work force.

There is emphatically no need to feel guilty FFS!!!

flowerybeanbag · 16/11/2010 10:19

You are thinking of turning down a jobin case you get pregnant? Take the job!

flowerybeanbag · 16/11/2010 10:20

in case

Original poster

maybemore · 16/11/2010 12:41

Thanks all. I know the legal rights and wrongs but I do feel bad because a) it is a charity and they will have to fork out for my SMP and b) I just don't want to work with people that may resent me from day one and that unfortunately is the real world and c) I will probably start mucking them about due to midwife appointments etc.

It's only a few hundred pounds a month and it'll really make no difference to our standard of living I took it more to keep me busy.

I agree with all those that said we shouldn't feel guilty - it's a shame I do

OP posts:

sparks · 16/11/2010 12:51

Would I take this job? Yes.

OP I gather from what you have written that you have not yet missed a period or had a positive pregnancy test. Obviously my experience is different from yours, but I would never be so certain about being and staying pregnant to turn down a job offer.

Lougle · 16/11/2010 17:31

Maybemore, they can claim back the SMP, and if they are very small they will be able to claim back 104% of the SMP to cover admin/recruiting cover costs.

cantdecidewhattodo · 17/11/2010 10:28

It could be months even years until you get pregnant, you can't put your life on hold on the strength of something that might happen.

Lots of people have unplanned pregnancies too. Would you suggest that no woman of childbearing age take a new job just in case they get pregant?

cantdecidewhattodo · 17/11/2010 10:29

pregnant, that is not pregant!

Original poster

maybemore · 19/11/2010 14:24

OK, I'm persuaded to take it! I know I'll get preggers v easily. I always do...... BUt feel a bit better now I know they can claim the SMP back even though they will get at me secretly I think.

OP posts:

pippop1 · 22/11/2010 23:59

If it makes no difference to your income whatsoever and they are a charity you could do it on a voluntary basis. That way you would be keeping busy and they could still look for a new recruit.

duchesse · 23/11/2010 00:10

I'm more in the Trying for 6 years camp mentioned by Lougle, and turned down a few opportunities (skiing, transatlantic holidays etc) on the off chance that I might be pregnant by then. I'll never get those 6 years back. Actually that's mostly a good thing.

The point is, don't put your life on hold on the off-chance. That way lies madness (trust me, I know about that).

Watersign76 · 23/11/2010 01:10

Just to add...if it is a great job you might end up staying post mat leave. You never know what the future holds.

I work for a charity. They got all the money back when I was on mat leave. I think they benefited from somebody else being in the role whilst I was away.

Good luck.

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