When does it become no longer worth it?

[UselessEmployee]

Backstory is here.

Essentially, work tried to get rid of me for taking too much sick leave despite known disability, I appealed and won, and the whole thing became a nightmare. Obviously there are two sides to every story and I'm aware that in many respects I've handled the situations extremely badly, however, communication and relationships have all degenerated to the degree that members of the management are refusing to work with or speak to me. I've just come back off sick leave (um, yes, yet again) and simply don't know what I am supposed to be doing or who to report to. And since the original thread I have become pregnant again, so will be causing outrage by taking more time off for maternity leave.

The union have been great on procedural and policy stuff, but are less helpful on the interpersonal issues. HR seem completely out of their depth and have made it clear that it would be easier for them if I would simply resign and allow them to give my job to someone else.

Really, I want to leave. But I know that I leave now would burn my bridges forever in what is a very specific and specialised area of employment; I know that if I left now, I would never return, certainly not in this country. And I know that I have no transferrable skills that would be of use in any other job. And because of my disability, any jobs with a manual component (ie shalf-stacking, waitressing, care work) aren't really feasible.

But still, when is it time simply to cut one's losses and leave a job which feels unbearable?

Poor you. I know the back story from first time round.

Do you have evidence that HR have implied that it would be better for everyone if you resigned? I'd be astonished if you did, but can believe that things might have been said in passing.

Regardless of this, I think there is probably enough to bring about a case for constructive dismissal on the grounds of discrimination, potentially due to gender, pregnancy and disability. But to go down this path would need a very good lawyer, and you would need to 'cover your bases' first - try to take it up again with HR etc etc. You should also try to involve your union again to address this bullying (which on the face of it seems to be the best description of what is happening here)

If a case against them were to be proven you would be compensated for the potential effect on both past and future earnings, and the lack of ability to transfer your skills would be taken into account.

However it is not a decision to take lightly and only you know if you have the stomach to face it. Your case is also complex so you could rack up some hefty legal bills (your union may fund some of this). I think however that if you just resign and go you won't wake up feeling any happier.

A third option (once you've gone back to HR/the union) is to hold a legal meeting to assess the merits of your case, and then take the basic bones of what would be your case to HR and tell them that you will be taking it further but may be willing to compromise if they came back to you with a suggested route forward. They may then offer a sum to resign.

Horrible horrible situation. I know how it feels (My situation had a very positive outcome, but it was a dreadful year to go through)

Thank you for being so kind. What happened to you?

The union have mentioned the potential for constructive dismissal but I know quite honestly that I wouldn't have the emotional resilience to even try. I'd lose what vestiges of goodwill still remain (one of the managers has been so far very supportive, but is starting to waver) and would just make myself even more unpopoular/unemployable in this area of work. And most of the evidence I'd be relying upon would have to come from off-the-cuff comments in one-to-one encounters. They would claim that they were only trying to help and support me and that I misunderstood or misrepresentated their concern and compassion.

I know I need to find some way of negotiating a way either to stay or to leave with a good reference and dignity intact.

But I've emailed the one manager who appears not to hate me asking for a post sick leave meeting, and have heard nothing.

Any ideas on where I go from here?

If you became unemployable because of the damage to your reputation you would be compensated for the salary loss until your normal age of retirement (if you won).

and you would not need ot worry about your manager's reactions, because you would not be there.

With me I was also in an industry where going to a tribunal would immediately render me unemployable ever again. In my case, I was rumoured to be up for promotion to the Board, then my bosses found out I'd been TTC (On account of my being in hospital with my 7th M/C), as a result of which I was demoted to a different role (for no reason) by new MD and had my salary reduced by 30%... It took almost a year to resolve and eventually we came to a 'mutually acceptable compromise'... a very good outcome but a very horrible year.

My goodness. How did you cope? And have you managed to stay pregnant? Are you still working there?

In my case, I can't really see the salary loss being worthy of compensation as my position and area of work is notoriously mediocrely paid. And ultimately, I probably have the capacity to retrain as a teacher on the basis of my academic qualifications (if I could do the PGCE and teach part-time and sitting down )

Yes, I was fine - it was seven years ago now. I moved on, found another job and have gone further than I would have in my old role. And the PG went fine (so maybe the GP was right about all the stress...) and I now have two DCs.

You sound very down about everything? you should maybe take a break and write down all your options (including retraining) together with pros/cons. Might help you look at things in a clearer way.

To put it bluntly life's too short to fuck about doing something you don't enjoy. Move on.