Just survived my first week back to FT work; but it was hellish!

[Suzihaha]

I started a new job on Monday. Both DSs and DH have been really sick but as it was my first week I couldn't ask for time off.

I feel absolutely rotten, coming home every night (later than expected because of train delays) to find them looking pale and tearful.

None of us have got more than a few hours sleep this week and I was late in to the office one day.

Please tell me it gets easier. I thought I was going back for the good of the family; securing a financial future blah blah blah.

I feel like I've made a horrible mistake that I can't take back (DH switched to PT so resigning is not an option).

Please tell me that this was exceptional and it'll get easier.

Poor you, what bad luck having poorly dcs in your first week of work. It does get much better, honestly. I went back to work FT in April after 3 years as a SAHM and 2 working freelance, and most of the time it works very well. My DH works 21 hours per week and freelance for around 2 days a week which gives us fantastic flexibility as far as childcare is concerned. I'm usually a bit knackered by Friday and I'm never on top of housework etc. but generally being back at work has been a very positive experience for me and for the family.

How was the job itself? Can you see yourself settling in and enjoying the work? Good colleagues/working environment? If yes, then you're doing the right thing and just need to go easy on yourself and allow yourself time to adjust to the new situation.

Good luck! :)

I think that would have been the week from hell no matter how long you'd been back at work! Just very bad luck having all that additional stress right now. Sinkingfeeling is spot on - you need to mentally separate the horrors of illness and lack of sleep from the actual job. It really will all get better, and in a few weeks your nightmare start back will be a distant memory

Thank you both for your posts

I am feeling better now it's Saturday and DSs are almost over it.

My work colleagues all seem lovely and the work itself is something I can really see myself getting into (more responsibility and a step up from my last job).

DH went PT as he wants to start a business but I expect he'll have to wait until DS2 goes to nursery before getting any time to concentrate on it.

How long does it take for everyone to get used to the new routine?

Glad to hear you're feeling better, Suzi. It sounds very promising, and great to have a job with plenty of potential to grow into. I think we adapted surprisingly quickly to me being back at work f/t. I do manage to collect the dcs from school twice a week which helps. I had a honeymoon period with my job after the inital shock wore off, which lasted a few weeks, then the reality kind of hit home and I struggled for a few weeks. Now we seem to have reached an equilibrium where I'm not quite the new girl any more but still have to ask loads of questions and am not entirely sure what I'm doing all the time. I do love the job - though for me it's sadly a step down from my last job, but with potential to move around the organisation when I have more experience and that's good enough for me.

Sorry to ramble ...

It's a bit better but I am starting to miss the DC now. At least work is busy which means the day goes by quickly. Although, I hope it doesn't get any busier because I don't really want to have to bring work home to do in the evenings

I really do sympathise suzi. I have been back at work 2 weeks now. DD is only 5m. I have a long commute and we're trying to sell up and move closer to my work. DH looks after DD pm and she's at nursery am. Not been a smooth run for us either - DD rolled off changing station first week so up to A&E. Lots of tears (mostly mine!) And we all had D&V second week so time off. Not the greatest start to new job. BUT.....it has gotten easier and (quiet voice) I am starting to enjoy my job and the time away from being ft mum. But that in itself has prompted a new wave of guilt....I think if you have no.choice but to work you can only do the best you can do in the circumstances, try to rest as much as possible and enjoy the time you have with DC.

Hope things get better for you.

Hi kipperro. Your first week sounds like a nightmare too. Hope you are all feeling better.

I thought I had gotten over all the guilt feelings that come with being a mum, but now I feel guilty about what people at work think about me leaving at 5pm every day. Literally, right on the dot. If I don't, I miss that train and then I don't get home until past 6:30pm.

I keep telling myself that at least Christmas is coming up soon with some time off, so I have that to look forward to. Then by the new year, we should all be more settled in our new jobs and routines.

Poor you. It really does get easier.

We have a "supporting new mothers at work" meeting now and then when (over a a free lunch!!) those who have been back a while chat with those who have just made it back etc etc. Some of us have come back part time, some full time, some with tons of responsibility, some have taken a bit of a step down etc (so, all different).

And we all have a moan but are thankful to sit down somewhere without CBeebies on in the background...

I've been back at work full time now for 3 months. It had got easier in some ways, but I just feel like the tiredness is building up. It doesn't help that we have all had cold after cold for about a month now.

Roll on Xmas!!

I like the idea of a supporting new mothers lunch. I might suggest it, but I am the only woman in my department bar the team assistant (young and single), so not sure there'll be any takers!

Suzi I think it takes about 4 months to get into a new job and routine with the DC.

Both DH and I work FT and we have 2 DS's who are 4 and 9 months. WE are perpetually tired and every week there is a new drama, ie last week DS2's CM broke her ankle!

You get used to it and provided you enjoy your job, life will get easier (as I keep telling myself)

The tiredness is the worst part, isn't it? Hopefully that should improve as the DCs' sleep improves though .

I do have one question for those full-timers though; if you could reduce your hours, would you?

Yes Suzi. I worked part time before I was made redundant. I had to tale a full time job but plan to ask for part time once I've been there 6 months. I don't hold out much hope though :-(

Why not trixy? Don't employers need a really good reason to refuse part time?

I think I'm going to ask once I've been there 6 months too. Quite a few people in the company are part-timers so I'm holding out a hope!

My boss is really great, but he made some comment about another member of staff coming back part time that makes me think he wouldn't be too keen. I think it will probably be ok, bit think my boss will be a bit " disappointed" which makes me feel a bit uncomfortable.

I hope it works out for you.