Returning FT for 6mo only (long, very sorry)

[belfastchildsingsagain]

Currently on mat leave with DC1, SMP runs out at end Dec and we will be in the financial doldrums at that point (piddling as SMP is, it's keeping us afloat right now).

The situation at my place of employment is that were I to return, after 3 months I would receive a lump sum equivalent to a further 3 months' salary. I am on 3 months' notice period, so would end up working until end June or so. The job I do cannot be done from home, nor PT, as the hours are very unpredictable. I didn't think I would have to go back to work at all, but DH's company froze pay for a year just before I went on mat leave, so the extra cash we thought we would have will not be unlocked until their financial year restarts in May 2011. (He has received his titular promotion, but not the associated bumper pay rise.)

Here is my dilemma. For financial reasons, we now live 2 hours' commute from work and couldn't use a childminder as leave home at latest 7.10am, returning earliest at 7.45pm. My mother has offered to come and rent a flat nearby for those 6 months - in exchange for a proportion of the lump sum I receive. I would also obviously provide food etc as she would care for DC in my home. Alternatively, I could engage a nanny for those 6 months. Although I do feel I would prefer my mother to do the childcare, I really need to figure out how the two trade off, financially.

I suppose my question is - has anyone done similar, gone back just to cynically get the 'sweetener' and then sodded off? And how does it work with your own DC if you both quite literally only see them at weekends? My LO will be 7mo at the end of December, so I will miss out on those 6 months of big changes (crawling, walking, talking, teething etc).

Trying to figure out what's best for us as a family. I reckon we could survive for 5mo at a push on overdrafts etc but on the other hand, the ££ I would receive from going back would see us right for the rest of the year.

Not personally but I have had colleagues who've done it. I don't think employers are too shocked about it really.

I have, however, gone back to work full-time. It's not as bad as you think, you don't completely miss out, you stil see them develop in the time you do have together. The key is to have childcare you really like otherwise you worry.

If you like your mum I would take her offer up.

My SIL did it - sort of. She went back for 3 months to get the maternity pay but is now on a 3 yr career break (apparently can be done and she has a job to go back to!) The grandparents did the care (for free - and they commuted a couple of hundred miles a week to do it).

SIL didn't like doing it, and IMO they didn't NEED to do it, but it was a bonus financially. In the end I think she enjoyed work more than she thought she would.

Give it a go. Have a look but you may find a nanny very expensive (though you could always consider a share).

Assuming you have a great relationship with your mum (and you probably do if you are considering this) and she is very hands on (again, assume she must be if she is considering this) an energetic grandma is the very best thing next to a parent IMO. With total unpredictability of hours, unless you opt for a live-in nanny, it will offer you unrivalled peace of mind.

I always think that not going back is an irreversible decision, but if you at least give it a try, you can stop at any point.

At my workplace they would also look more kindly (financially) on someone who had tried to return than someone who hadn't bothered (so if you only managed 3 or 4 months they might let you off!). Each time I have had big doubts about returning and have always been glad I did - and in the long term the smaller the gap on your CV, the better.

I know plenty of people who work FT with little ones and they get back into the swing of things. Usually the big change comes after the second baby (amongst people I know at least).