Advice needed

[lovecorrie]

Namechanged for this as it's a bit tricky. I walked out of my job on Tuesday - well threw my keys at my boss and told her 'I'd rather starve then deal with this...' Situation is: I had to sack a staff member member for having an inappropriate relationship with a client (vulnerable adult) whilst she (staff) was having a bipolar high. We has no idea she was bipolar until she drove her car in a blacked out drunked state and crashed, resulting in a court case etc. This we accepted but the relationship was really a no-no. She had not disclosed this to me as her manager, but had to other staff members who had equally not disclosed it. All very unpleasant but had to be done.
On Tuesday my director told me she's had an 'informal disclosure' that I knew of the relationship and needed to investigate. When I insisted I knew nothing my director put on a very disbelieving face and I just saw red! The shit she puts me through day to day anyway nd then this! I was so angry. Anyway, calmeddown and went to my doctor who has signed me off sick for two weeks - also put me on diazepam. E mailed boss to tell her and provided sick note, also apologising for walking out, stating I had reached the end of my tether but had clearly not resigned and wanted to discuss things with her. Got 'caring' email from her saying we can discuss this next week (as I had indicated I was happy to do). Then I had a clearly misdirected e mail sent me , obviously meant for her solicitor, suggesting that now I am off sick, her 'letter to [me] needs to be significantly changed but the timeline for dismissal, can, I believe, stay the same'. WTF? I have a meeting with the chair of the board of trustees (small charity - no manager above my director, just a board, who will never go against director anyway) Whatthe hell do I do now? I cannot see the grounds to sack me. I have done Nothing Wrong! Any employment expert advice very gratefully received!

anyone?!

Leaving aside all the extenuating circumstances for a minute and looking from their point of view only, you threw your keys at your boss and walked out failing to uphold your end of your employment contract.

You (as far as they are concerned) knew of a highly inappropriate relationship between a member of your team and a vulnerable adult client and did nothing about it.

So I imagine they do at present feel it's likely they will dismiss you for at least the second reason. Presumably the letter mentioned was going to be one inviting you for a disciplinary hearing or something.

You are now in a slightly improved position in that you have evidence that they have already decided the outcome of said disciplinary hearing without giving you any opportunity to hear and respond to their allegations, with representation etc and confirm that you in fact knew nothing about it in the first place.

What do you want to do? Do you want to go back to work or do you feel you cannot now do so?

Sorry to hear about this.

They would presumably have to have clear proof that you knew about the inappropriate relationship to be able to dismiss you on that basis.

However, if a member if my staff was as aggressive as you were

• "threw my keys at my boss and told her 'I'd rather starve then deal with this'" -

then I would imagine I would be entitled to consider gross misconduct (ie: insubordination and agression).

Throwing keys at people can cause serious injury.

I didn't actually throw them at her - just a figure of speech - sorry, I placed them on her desk... what I am particularly concerned about is that surely my confidentiality in arranging a meeting with the chair has been breached by the chair telling her about it! I have no-one to turn to. And yes, i do want my job back.

Not sure what you mean about your confidentiality being breached, or why that's your major concern. You have a meeting with your chair booked in and you think your chair has mentioned this to your boss? Did you specifically ask the chair not to do that and did he/she agree? Given the issues involved I can't see that it's hugely important anyway tbh, surely your concern should be whether they feel they have grounds to dismiss you and whether/how you can appeal your dismissal should it go ahead? You say you have no one to turn to, but there's no reason to particularly expect to have someone internally to turn to in these circumstances anyway really.

I'd suggest you go to the meeting with your chair, explain what has happened, express concern that unjustified charges have been made against you and that from the email it seems the outcome and decision to dismiss has been taken prior to any kind of disciplinary hearing allowing you to defend yourself, meaning you now have no faith in any such procedure going forward. See what he/she says. If you want to stay there you can't start making noises about constructive dismissal or anything, so all you can do is indicate that you strongly believe any dismissal would be unfair and that you would appeal it as such. What would you like to happen about your relationship with your boss?

How long have you been with the charity?

I just want to clear my name, explain that the reason I walked out on Tuesday was becaue I felt I was being put under unbearable stress and that I want to return to work and get on with a job, which, both my boss and the chair have consistently said, I am exceptionally good at. I know walking out was wrong but I saw 'red' - not professional I know but a culmination of a very difficult few days