Keeping in touch with other mums once back at work FT- can it be done and do I need to do it for DS's sake?

[peapod2010]

I hope I'm worrying about nothing, but I soon go back FT (DS 8 mths) and don't know what to do about keeping contact with the other new mums I've got to know. I don't know anyone else going back FT, so they will continue to meet up on days when they're not working, whereas for me it would have to be weekends only.

The point is, there's no-one I've really become close friends with, although I've enjoyed meeting up with them so far. If it was just for my own sake, I would probably let these "friendships" die a natural death, but I think it would be good for DS to regularly see other children of his own age. We have plenty of longer-standing friends with children, but none of exactly his age and many of them live far away enough that we see them only every few months. He will see other children every day at his CM's- is that enough? Any thoughts, anyone?

They probably won't want to meet up at the weekends IME as that is their family time (although that depends on what sort of hours their DH is working).

Can you do a monthly mummies' night out? I did this with my friends for years, usually the 3rd Wednesday of the month we would go out for a meal. While it was nice to sometimes meet up in the daytime with DC in tow, it was flipping great to have a night out without DCs or DHs.

I'd worry only if there is a friendship you really don't want to loose. And if these people also want to keep the friendship they'll be happy to meet over the we, or at least that's how I see it (but we always spend a good part of the WE with friends).

Your ds is only 8 months and he'll be fine just being around the children at his CM, I think.

Thanks for your responses. I'm also thinking more long term with respect to DS making friends. Assuming I continue working FT (most likely) and he remains an only child (again most likely) do I just accept that he will have to make his own friends and I probably won't know their parents? This is all so different to the way I grew up, with a SAHM and several siblings, being taken to playgroups and school where my Mum seemed to know all of my friends' mums :(

Sorry, being a bit pathetic and morose! I'd love to hear from anyone who's worked FT about how involved they've been with their DCs' friends and their parents.

I think at 8 months if he is seeing other kids at the cm's, he doesn't need his own 'friends' just yet. lots of time for that when he's older

I work ft, and have done since ds (an only) was tiny. I didn't keep in touch with anyone from antenatal/baby group after I went back - just didn't click with anyone.

Ds then made his own friends at nursery, and we'd see people at the pool or whatever, but it was only when he was 3 and wanted someone to come over and play that anything really happened. And as it works out, I really get on with the parents of his best friend, and we see a lot of them ,even though ds and friend are at different schools. But I only know one person at school as I drop to early club and pickup from late, so am starting over there..

Thanks, dibbler, it's reassuring to hear your experiences. I seem to speak to lots of people who made great friends with their antenatal group so it's good to know I'm not alone in not being desperate to keep in touch with anyone I've met so far.

I work full time and to be honest most friendships after nursery faded away. DD1 is now at school and there's a few mums I'm friendly with (despite only doing the school run once a week), they're all other working mothers. It can be done. I found in reception, if dd was invited for tea, I'd go along the first time and get to know the family and then after that leave them to it. Soon got to know people that way.

DS is 26 months, and I went back to work when he was a year old. My mummy friends and I meet up for a curry once a month; DS sees a lot of taht circle of friends at nursery; there's the odd week end get together and then of course - birthday parties!