How do you deal with the guilt of working full time?

[DesperateHousewife32]

Hi, I've been offered a great new job which I know I'll be really good. The thing is it's full time and my son has never been to an after or before school club. I really want to take the job but I know I'll feel really guilty if I take it. Has anyone else dealt with this and if so how?

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hi - went full time two years ago catapulting children into pre and post school care for the first time - the club is great but - yes - the guilt is there - mainly as they feel a bit different to their friends getting picked up after school - but the compensation is worth it - I am a role model to them for working hard to get on and when with them really do give them my time. So smile bravely and get on with this - my children remain perfect in every way - it doesnt harm them! Oh - I did give in and hire a cleaner two months ago though!

Congrats on the new job. You'd be surprised how many children love their afterschool club.

I work ft too. If you have an extra room for an aupair, I use her to do the drop offs and picks ups (and housework). The cost is about the same as wraparound before/after school club.

Hi there,
I've done this in fits and starts although I will probably be going back full time 1st of April next year when my oldest is 6 and my youngest is 18 months....

My best advice is to find activities you can do together and plan them in your weekend/evenings so that you feel you are getting quality time together.

Get really organised, do the shopping online and get a cleaner (essential for us) and use your parental leave if you can so you can give yourself a break and spend some quality time with the kids. You are entitled to this until your youngest is 5, so I don't know if it applies or not.

Once you get into the groove of the job you can also see if working from home occasionally or finishing off early one day a week, say a Friday could be accommodated - this makes quite a big difference sometimes.

I think life as a full time working parent tends to be harder on the parent than the children, as children are so adaptable!

However, if you are lucky enough to get a job you are happy with/gives you satisfaction then it's worth it - good luck with it, give it a go and see how it goes! :o)

hi op, I've always been a great advocate about being at home for your kids, but now my kids are in school and I'm doing a low wage job I hate as I can't get anything remotely like my previous jobs. That , coupled with reading a lot of these threads about the sahm v the wohm has made me realise, if you find a job you like and are happy to do, your kids won't suffer by being in childcare. It sounds like you've found something you would really be happy doing and I know from experience, if you are happy your son will be happy, so please go for it!

I'm sure in time, when you are both more settled your guilt will get less and less, please don't let it stop you taking this job now.

Oh and sorry, must say the post from JETS about being a role model for working hard, well we all work hard, whether its at home or outside it. unless you are a really crap parent, most of our kids will see us as role models and positive ones at that.

Hi

I recently started a full time job and it has been hard at times, especially when my 18 month old DS is ill and I've had to take time off to look after him but to be honest, you do get used to it.

I also put a flexible working application in last week. I'm hoping to be working compressed hours which means I get every other Friday off and this is on top of my 30 days annual leave so not too bad really.

I also hired a cleaner last week which has been a godsend. It's a relief not to have to chain myself to the housework at the weekend now!

I feel guilty ALL THE TIME and yes in an ideal world I'd work 3 days a week but jobs are few and far between at the moment and I love what I do compared to my last job which I hated. You'll be fine and so will the kids!

I am struggling a bit with this at the moment, and I went back ft 4 years ago! Just think it is a process of adjustment through different phases, am hoping life will get a bit easier again next year when both my DSs are at school - the multiple drop offs are a killer at the moment...