Would really appreciate help re suspension.

[wubbzy1981]

My OH was suspended from work over 7 weeks ago. At the time he was not told what the specifics of the allegations were only that it included abuse and threats of violence. We presumed that they were unfounded and put a grievance in which we never heard back on.

Anyway the next few weeks we had so many arguments, he was diagnosed with stress and I couldn't cope with it 24/7 and I asked him to leave 2 weeks ago. He moved 50 miles back to his parents and sees us twice a week. I meanwhile got a job with an ex employer and work a few shifts a week.

He has now received a letter from employers asking him to attend a meeting. The details of the complaint are enclosed and are not backed up with witness statements or anything. This statement was taken before he was suspended so basically we have sat here waiting and speculating about whether he will have a job or not and it turns out to be something he alledgedly said to someone else who had a vendetta against him in the first place!!

So he should get his job back...great only he cant commute 60miles daily. If I take him back I would not be willing to give up my job so that he can go here although I could take on more shifts if he has the kids. Not sure about this yet..have to think if it will resolve anything.

Anyway, he wants to write to work to say "you have left me hanging"..."the stress has caused this"....etc"

Does anyone have suggestions on what he could do. He is already looking for another job. He could hand his notice in anyway but he is very angry about doing this.

Are yuou willing to take him back? If so, not sure I understand the problem, sorry. Why would you have to give up your job?
It does sound like they have treated him dreadfully, sorry for all the stress you have been under

If I do take him back, the shift patterns would not allow both of us to work. Both of our patterns include nights and when these clash childcare is a problem.

My job is not paid aswell as his but I dont want to give up a great job which I enjoy for his who can do this to him.

I dont think I want to rush to reconcile at a drop of a hat either but would consider marriage counselling.

So really I think option would be to hand in notice or ask the employers to give him time to relocate so that he can continue his job as before. I am not sure he would want to do that in light of what has happened since.

He blames them for his stress and our ultimate breakup. I am upset that they could of resolved this over 1 month ago.

I'm confused as well. You thought the allegations would be unfounded, which they were, so no surprise. Given he always thought the allegations would be unfounded what was he planning to do about going back to work when that proved to be the case?

You are working doing your new job at present, with him 50 miles away, so if you can do it without him with you why would anything change if he moved back? Or are his two visits a week providing the childcare for you to work?

yes, I assume she means he does the childcare at the moment because he isn't working?

It was him living 50 miles away that made me think possibly not, but it sounds as though that must be the case.

But if he's looking for another job that wouldn't be any different, unless the other job involves directly opposite shifts to you wubbzy.

yes, that's what puzzled me - unless he is having them for a few days at a time?

I seem to be ending every sentence with a ?

It would be interesting to know what the medium - long term plan was when he moved out and 50 miles away - presumably he must have anticipated going back to work or to another job, so what was the plan with childcare going to be?

Sorry, another ?!

Yes, he provides childcare for those shifts and so we knew that he would not be able to go back to work unless he moved back, i left my job or he moved closer. I am trying to get on with life whilst we try and sort our relationship out.

However, work didn't tell him anything and through speculation and what other people were telling him, we thought that he must of done something absolutely terrible and that they would sack him. It caused alot of rows. I was convinced he must of done something terrible and was scared to tell me. He was convinced it was a setup.

To find out that they have no witnesses or anything and have not contacted him until now is a real kick in the teeth. It is basically one word against his. The same guy who made the complaint against OH was accused of the same behaviour the day before and my oh was due to be witness.

So he wants to write telling them that he feels procedures were not followed and the effect that this has had on him. Ultimately he wants recompense for shift allowance that wasn't paid but he also wants to make the managers accountable (his choice).

Should he just hand in his notice or go to the meeting for an outcome and then say he cant come back anyway. If he leaves with the investigation open what will go on his record??

I have so many questions. Ultimately i rely on him to assist financially and so I need to help him with this to get the best outcome.

Additionally the meeting is for a "disiplinary investigation". Does anyone know if this is just the interview which he has not had or if it is his actual hearing?

Disciplinary investigation wouldn't normally be the hearing, it would be more fact-finding. It may be that after speaking to him they realise they have no case and drop it before it even gets to a hearing.

It's completely understandable that you felt he may have been hiding something he'd done from you, but was his plan to appeal it and then claim unfair dismissal should they have set him up in some way?

Who has he contacted about his grievance? Is there HR, has he contacted them and asked for it to go ahead, or for a timetable when it will? A grievance would always be his first step if he wants to complain about his treatment.

If he leaves now with the disciplinary investigation still open his employers will be able to say on a reference that there were pending disciplinary investigations into his conduct when he left employment.

If he is determined not to return regardless of the outcome he can either resign straightaway now or see it through and get himself exonerated first.

There is the possibility of considering a constructive dismissal claim, which is where the employer has fundamentally breached it's contract with the employee in some way, which may include an irrepairable breakdown in trust and confidence. Whether this could constitute constructive dismissal is impossible to say without knowing more, but that's something he could look into.

The trouble is it's very difficult to prove, and a claim would probably be lengthy, expensive if you don't have legal cover and stressful, which doesn't sound ideal at the moment. Also, if he were to get another job in the meantime, it may well be that it becomes pointless bringing a claim as compensation would only be about actual financial loss.

Thank you, that is what we needed to hear. I think he will see it through and then leave. He will then be able to find a job around my hours. I doubt he will get a job as well paid.

His grievance is with the manager that is dealing with the investigation but he has not had a reply and has resent this grievance as it does not seem that it was taken into account. It was sent to HR and to the top manager.