Two babies under two years returning to work tips

[lavender11]

Any tips at all if you have 2 under 2 (well the oldest will be exactly 2) and you are returning to work with both of them in a nursery 8 - 6 four days per week. On
(1) - how not to feel the immense guilt i felt the first time with number 1 of leaving them in a nursery for such long hours (it is a very good nursery but this doesnt seem to help) but multiplied by two
(2) - how not to find yourself with total marriage meltdown with a usual non communicative man who has to leave for work at 6.30am and gets in around 7pm so cannot help (even if he was the type to help with child things which he isnt really)
3) - even if you cannot suggest anything for (1) or (2) above!! any tips on morning and evening routines to actually get them to and from the nursery and then into bed and somehow feeling like special children would be very much appreciated
I will take a silent response to this post as confirmation that there is no answer and this is just how life is being a working mum....

I have no experience of your exact situation - sounds hard :(
But what I'm finding helps:
-Get everything ready the night before. All clothes picked out, inc socks, jumpers and coats and hung on banisters. Diary, spare clothes etc in bag ready by the front door. Any fiddling around with car seats done.
-I assume in that time they get meals? So just something quick when they get in (toast and banana / cereal) and then bath and pyjamas.

• Take a day off when they're in nursery every few weeks to catch up onall the other stuff you never get a chance to do (this is mine and I have mostly MN-ed )

Can't help with special children I'm afraid, I'm struggling badly myself. Trying to get as much done during the week as I can so weekends are special. But failing and feeling the guilt...

Make sure you can find their shoes the night ebfore too - sounds stupid but we've spent many a morning, flying round shouting WHERE ARE HIS SHOOOES??? In fact if it's easy, stick them in the car too, and then you can put them on when you actually get to nursery/

shriieeek thanks so much for your ideas, after reading your post yesterday i went and bought some more cheap pumps from sainsburys for my toddler as i totally know what you are saying about shoes
not sure i will be able to have a day off wiht any regularity when they are at nursery so am expecting things to fall apart a bit when i go back to work and accordingly am totally dreading it. but thanks for your ideas anyway

As for the special children bit - it sounds like you're working four days a week so does this mean you'll have a long weekend together?
That sounds like a good start!

lavender11 - I'm not in exactly the same position, mine are 3.6yo and 10mo, and are only in nursery 8-6 two days a week.

I would echo all of schriieek's tips.

I would just like to say, this is my second week back after maternity leave, and it's hard going. I am having to remind myself that I am just settling into this new, chaotic routine, and that we will find our groove eventually.

It's hard, but I am finding it do-able so far by being very organised.

Get a nanny! Surely the same cost as 2 in nursery? then no issues with getting 2 kids ready as well as yourself, household stuff will be done etc, by a good nanny.

I second the nanny idea. It's definitely cheaper than two under 2 in a nursery and you don't have to rush in the mornings to get them out, or in the evenings to bring them home.

And they get the special attention/care they won't get from a nursery with lots of other kids.

1. get a cleaner and/or lower domestic standards !
2. If you can afford it or don't go the nanny option - get an aupair/childminder to do drop off and/or pick ups
3. Prep at the weekends - cook up for the week, washing etc.
4. Trust that you are always doing the best for your family
5. Take advantage of any help offered
6. Try to have some back up emergency care set up so that you don't always have to take time off for sick children etc..

Also my little ones have been in good nurseries since they were 6 months, have had lots of good, special care (but a nanny will make you life easier -re drop offs/pick ups/sick children etc)....

maybe paranoid but i am assuming the level of qualification nanny i would be able to afford i would never quite know what they are doing all day. at least with a nursery there are procedures and routines and you would know what they have eaten, when they have slept and what they have done (roughly) all day. yes i would love to be able to afford mary poppins and would jump at the chance but not sure just under 2K gross would pay for that.
however thanks for the other ideas and yes all of the pre prep is essential, i realise. just hope i can do it on very little sleep which I am getting...

lavender11

I can totally appreciate your situation.
My situation is not exactly the same as yours - but not a million miles off.

I have 2 DS's - one is 5 and the other is 1.5. They both go to the childminder while we both work.

They get sent to the childminders at 8am and picked up at 5.30pm.

I get school pack lunch and all clothes laid out the night before, and also go through all the paperwork that comes from school.

My DH gets them dressed and to the minder in the morning as I leave on my 1.5 hour commute at 6.30am.

I get back to pick them up at 5.30pm rush home, get them bathed and to bed then get dinner cooked for us.

The only thing that makes me feel a little less guilty is that I do a half day work at home 1 day a week, so I get to spend the day with the little one and at least get to have a quick word with teachers once a week too.

It is hard...it truly truly is and unhelpful husbands just makes me want to scream!

But anyway, try and reduce your working week?

Dungan that sounds hard work. good to know i wont be the only one attempting these things... thanks for your tips