After 3 years...

[ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts]

Hi all looking for a bit of advice.

I havent worked since Jan 2007.

I got the sack for being off ill too long. The doctor signed me off after a miscarriage and developed PID. This was my first and only job. My employers were shitty.

I then fell pregnant in the June of 2007, gave birth April 2008 and have been SAHM ever since.

I have found a job I'd love to apply for.

I have written a CV and a covering letter but I'm a little worried about the new prospective emlpoyers getting in touch with the old ones that fired me.

I have no other professional references.

I have so many worries regarding putting DD in childcare, how to get the childcare help from tax credits, whether my income would even make a difference to our joint incomes as DH would, so ive been told, lose working tax credit and we'd lose the housing benefit.

So many questions...

Hi there

I don't think it is legal to give a very negative reference, or go into why someone left on one. The worst an old employer can do is list the dates you worked for them and write nothing else. This constitutes a reference and would be accepted by a new employer. I would imagine it highly unlikely that your new employers will contact your old employers apart from after offering you the job (if successful) and asking you for a referee.

I used to work in HR so can assure you that most companies are not that sneaky (and if they are, you probably don't want to work for them). Most people I know (even confident ones like my DH) are paranoid about stuff like this, but in practice it just doesn't happen.

If you have no other professional reference, then an old tutor or teacher would be fine.

You are probably understandably lacking confidence because you haven't worked for so long (well, apart from doing the most important job in the world that is!) You can list FT mother on your CV and that is a perfectly understandable career break.

Ref. the other questions I'm not really qualified to answer, but I would suggest getting recommendations for nurseries and childminders rather than picking at random. On directgov.co.uk there is a tax credit calculator which might help you work out your finances.

Thank you posy,

Yeah the confidence is definitely low, I'm very nervous and I haven't even sent my CV in yet!

DD goes to nursery already, one morning a week for socialising so I would just have to ask if they have space for her to go more often. If they don't I'd be stuffed!

You have put my mind at ease regarding the references. If they ask for one I'll say my old NVQ tutor or headteacher, even though that was 7 years ago now!

I too am applying for jobs after a 3 year absence from the work place, and it is really hard to know what to say.
My career history is so varied that I can't put all my jobs because it makes me look really flakey!
Of course its fine to have taken 3 years off to raise children, but if you are in any doubt as to your old employers reaction,my advice is LIE!
Do you have any friends who run their own business and would be a referee?

It's a common misconception but I'm afraid it's not illegal to give very negative references, or to state why someone was fired. References must be accurate and truthful, and based on substantiated fact, but as long as that's the case, negative is fine (although lots of employers don't risk doing it).

A prospective employer shouldn't approach your ex employer for a reference before making an offer, I agree. However when they ask you for details of who they can contact for a reference, you need to be prepared to explain why you would prefer they didn't contact your most recent employer and hope they either go along with that or listen to your side of the story as well.