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Work

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Original poster

Did you start work when you baby was around 8 months old?

26 replies

ClovisHandrail · 25/09/2010 20:29

I have been offered 2 to 3 months work. It is well-paid which means I can save and won't have to work next year.

I have worked once in the last 5 years so feel very vulnerable wrt to the massive holes in my CV and don't want to become a no thanks before interview stage.

BUT I am wildly veering to saying no as I am still bf'ding and ds hasn't yet taken a bottle or been without me.

At nine months will it be a terrible wrench for him? Probably yes, but should I wait until next year...

Nanny is great, very loving, so already sorted that.

Anyway just wondering if you started work with a baby around 8-9 months and what it was like?

Thanks

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ReadingTeaLeaves · 25/09/2010 22:27

Just gone back to work - DS 8.5 months. Has been fine. Settling in week was hard (DS v upset - me too) but once I got back into work it was fine and he started to enjoy nursery within a week - already not so keen on me taking him away at the end of the day. I miss him and call the nursery daily to check he's ok but I'm glad to be using my brain in.

Good luck.

dearprudence · 25/09/2010 22:33

I went back when DS was 7 months, because it was several years ago when 6 months mat leave was all you got! (I added 1 month of parental leave as I couldn't get him to take a bottle).

I did 3 days per week - wouldn't have liked to do more. By mid-afternoon I really missed DS. It was hard to juggle stuff like afternoon sleeps and bedtimes when you're not in control all day. OTOH it was nice to get into work and have access to the internet and an office where you could set your own agenda for the day.

gaelicsheep · 25/09/2010 22:35

I was planning to go back when DD is 6 months. But amazingly we're still breastfeeding so I'm going to try to eke it out to 7 months. I'm hoping she'll be OK. I'd love to leave it until 8 or 9 months. At your DS's age is he established on 3 "meals" a day now? Can he take breastmilk in a cup at lunchtime and have you feed him morning and evening? That would be my plan if I were in your position.

MrsDinky · 25/09/2010 22:36

I started back at this age with both mine, and it was fine, they went to nursery. They did take a while to completely settle to nursery, but I don't think it was that big a problem. DD was still BF and had never taken a bottle (she never did) but I fed her morning and night and nursery made sure she had plenty of water and yogurts/cheese etc. She carried on like that until she was 2.5.

It sounds as though this is a really good opportunity for you if it will give you the financial security to not work next year, also to boost your future employability. Your DS will probbaly appreciate your company even more nexty ear than he does now too (I think my DS benefitted a lot from me being back on mat leave by the time he was 2).

mummynoseynora · 25/09/2010 22:41

I went back to work at this point with both DC - both couldn't care less that I was gone, but when I was at work they were with DH and at home so I guess it could be different ?

Original poster

ClovisHandrail · 25/09/2010 22:50

Thanks Reading and Prudence. I am doing a lot of carrying and watching /entertaining so looking forward to a bit of a break.

Gaelicsheep he is eating ok. Has three meals and can last from morning feed until 3. So at three he is having a lot of milk. I like the idea of missing out on the bottle completely and using a cup. He drinks water from a cup now but it's small sips rather than very much.

Thanks MrsDinky. I agree about future employability. I am more worried about this than other stuff. I have been for a few interviews and so many people managed to ascertain I had children (without being allowed to directly ask) I became worried it was a problem. Client-driven need you around type thing. So after this I don't mind another break on the CV.

Mummy, sounds good. If it were dh at home it would be great! Sometimes I think having a nanny around earlier rather than later can be good as (apart from the bfding) they get used to the new face. I mean he loves dh like he does me so they get used to other people.

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fridayschild · 26/09/2010 08:44

I went back when Ds1 was 6 months and DS2 was 5 months - a while ago, so that was pretty much the end of maternity leave! We had a nanny which was great and they adored her. It's such a luxury to be able to leave them in their home, so they don't have to get used to a new environment too.

DS1 did go through a phase of crying a little as I left in the morning when he was about 9 months old. But one day he got hold of a box of raisins and barely looked up to wave me off. I was much less worried about the crying after that!

I think you will miss your babies more than they will miss you, TBH. And it sounds like you are effectively buying the chance to be with them for all next year.

charmander · 26/09/2010 08:50

Have gone back 3 times when my boys were 8 months old. All fine and all breastfeed for at least a year. I was notorious for leaving a trail of breast pads everywhere though! They all drank water during the day without any problem and ate a lot of yoghurt I seem to recall. DS3 did have a couple of bottles of expressed milk but more to keep his grandparents who were looking after him happy.

DS2 had gastric flu at about 10 months and my DH did bring him in then for a couple of weeks for a lunch time feed, as water and milk were all he was having, no solids at all for a while poor little scrap.

Good luck - go for it

Original poster

ClovisHandrail · 26/09/2010 11:17

Fridayschild I like that I can run out the door unencumbered by stuff, that will be a luxury! Plus the nanny will do the school run for year one ds and make the dinner. I am getting a little jaded with dinner options a break will be good.

Charmander did you bother to express at work?
And did you make sure they could take a bottle before you started?

I agree with yoghurt being a lifesaver. Will stock up on yoghurt.

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Original poster

ClovisHandrail · 26/09/2010 15:52

Ok just sent dh into the other room to do 3pm feed. No chance! (with a Tippee 'closer to nature' bottle, hah!) Tears and distress.

Ended up bfding, now asleep.

So this is the only thing that is worrying me now. A distraught baby at 3pm on Wednesday and no way to help.

Will keep trying with the bottle or cup I suppose.

Will say give a yoghurt at 3 then do the school run which may equal sleep.

Any tips greatly appreciated.

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Original poster

ClovisHandrail · 26/09/2010 16:01

And the title should say 'your baby'. Geez it is easy to miss the obvious.

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MrsDinky · 26/09/2010 18:18

I found with DD that if I was around she would hold out for BF, but if I went out she was fine with water, I had a practice by going out for a day without her and leaving her with DH for the duration of a nursery day and she was fine, she was also fine at nursery.

I definitely needed the breast pads at work the first couple of weeks!

bigchris · 26/09/2010 18:20

I went back when my first was 5 months
tbh it's easier when they're littlier
nine months is classic separation anxiety time
fivemonths as long as they're fed and cuddled they're usually fine

Original poster

ClovisHandrail · 26/09/2010 18:24

Oh no it is isn't it?

Bugger.

I do think it is easier to bring the new face in earlier.

The only thing that makes me glad I didn't is sheer tiredness, and I really dislike and am quite crap at expressing.

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bigchris · 26/09/2010 19:09

Yes the tiredness was a killer

bigchris · 26/09/2010 19:09

Things were different then though , I was only allowed six months off and went on mat leave at 36 weeks

charmander · 27/09/2010 07:14

Sorry not to reply before, I am in NZ now so on a different time to you.

I never expressed at work, too lazy and also too busy at work (teacher).

For DS3 used to express first thing in morning when it was needed, maybe only a handful of times. My ds 1 would never take a bottle so I didn't even bother trying with ds2. They must have gone straight on the beaker type things (Boys are aged 12/10/4 now and memory is going).

My main memory with ds1 was of milk shooting across the room when I got home and fed him from the side he wasn't on. My body adapted pretty quickly though.

Original poster

ClovisHandrail · 27/09/2010 09:20

thanks charmander. I hope to skip the bottle and just use cup.

ha at the milk.

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MistyB · 27/09/2010 18:47

My DD was nine months when I went back to work and she never took a bottle, in fact never took to formula or milk really either. We managed with morning and night feeds for a bit and lots of calcium rich foods.

LadyLapsang · 27/09/2010 20:39

I went back 3 days pw when DS was 8 months. He was breastfed and never took a bottle. Was a bit of a problem at first as he took liquid just from a spoon! However, managed to get him onto a feeder cup. Remember the first day I collected him from nursery, I had to feed him in the car before we could drive home! Think it also effected sleep (mine!) as he used to feed a lot at night. In the end he gave up breastfeeding at nearly 2 but by then it was probably more comfort than nutrition.

MrsBadger · 27/09/2010 21:18

ds is 8m, I am about to go back

he is ok with water in a spouty cup so that is how he'll have milk - can;t be arsed trying to get him to take a bottle when a cup will do fine

if dd is anything to go by though he will 'reverse cycle' ie not drink much by day but take big feeds at night

Original poster

ClovisHandrail · 27/09/2010 22:04

The nanny came today. It was terrible.

She is great and loving. But ds only had to look at her and he would cry.

Massive separation anxiety. And no chance with bottle. Thanks LadyL and MistyB hope is same for us re feeding.

She is coming tomorrow then I start Wed. Argh! I am so stressed! He will be so sad and stressed when I go.

MrB how are you feeling about starting?

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nouveaupauvre · 27/09/2010 22:23

i started when ds ws eight months. i'd been trying and failing to get him to take expressed milk in a bottle for the previous six months and was still bf'ing exclusively (inbetween weeping at the thought that i had to go back and he wouldn't take a bottle and would obviosuly starve to death).
in the end he took a bottle 24 hours before i was due to go back to work - i had done absolutely nothing different from the million other times he'd refused. i still b'fed in the mornings and evenings at first before and after work and gradually phased it out - think it was a cofmort to me as much as him. my sister went back when my nephew was still bf'ing and managed with expressed milk in a cup - he learned v quickly to feed when she was around and not be fussy when she wasn't.
separation anxiety wise i obviously thought he'd be distraught as i'd never left him with anyone but DH (and he usually wailed at that).in the end he took to the nanny instantly and was almost offensively unbothered by my absence! friends who went back when their dc were over a year old seemed to have it worse - by that stage dc were more suspicious of new people.
in retrospect i was a lot more worried than him by the whole thing, tho it didn't feel that way at the time - they are surprisingly resilient! good luck and i hope it works out.

Original poster

ClovisHandrail · 28/09/2010 10:11

Thanks nouveaup. A very successful transition!

I am hopeless today. Bad sleep and big bags. Start tomorrow eek

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Original poster

ClovisHandrail · 28/09/2010 11:24

I nearly crumbled but nanny said she had cancelled other jobs. Felt too bad and changed back again.

I need to man up!

I imagine he will be beetroot with distress and won't eat.

It will be fine. gibber

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