crazy pregnancy situation - what would you do?

[sotough]

I have a good job with a major company. I am part of a two person team. The roles are high profile. Six weeks ago, the other person, who had the more senior title, resigned unexpectedly. Despite having a four month notice period period, the boss allowed him to go very quickly. There was no discussion about the implications for me. Since his departure, I've been doing his role, which involves a lot of extra hours, pressure and responsibility. I am doing the job of two people. I applied for his job officially as soon as he handed in his notice, and was given an interview. However, the boss has yet to make up his mind. He appears to be dithering/shopping around, whilst leaving me to pick up the slack, apparently on an indefinite basis.
i am coming to the end of my fourth week in this position and am exhausted and demoralised. I will shortly be expected to give up a lot of weekends for work.
All this is bad enough, but here's the complicating factor: i'm pregnant, and running out of time to break the news to them. I have hidden the pregnancy so far, because I am certain I will be discriminated against in relation to the promotion. No woman has ever held this more senior post that I am doing at present and am applying for officially. The boss has already questioned whether I would be capable of doing the extra hours it involves as I am a mother.
I am outraged at the thought of missing out on this promotion because of my pregnancy, but legally, i have to tell them in a few weeks time. What would you do? Would human resources be my friend or foe in this situation? (I am wondering whether, if the boss hasn't made up his mind about the promotion in the next couple of weeks, I should inform HR of my pregnancy, and my concerns about discrimination, and seek their advice?) I have an impeccable employment record, and received two bonuses for exceptional performance in the last few months. I have about three weeks left before I have to tell them. By then, it will be ten weeks since my colleague told them he was leaving - quite enough time for them to reach a decision, you'd have thought. I'd appreciate your take on whether my boss is being reasonable, and what you would do in my position. it goes without saying that the pregnancy is far more important to me than any job, and if i don't get promoted, I'll live with that!

Your boss has already questioned whether you could do the role because you are a mother

I know that asking that sort of question in an interview is IIRC illegal

You already think you will be discrimatned against getting the promotion

I would contact the equal opportunities commission for advice

Could you contact HR and ask why it is taking so long for you to be informed of the decision, given that you have already had an interview and are doing the job while they employ someone?

ruby he didn't actually say it i so many words, but he kept going on about how important working in the evenings would be. When I said that would be fine (i do it already) he raised his eyebrows and said in a cynical voice "really?". Before i was appointed some years ago, he asked a colleague: "won't she just go off and have children?" Colleague was shocked and sometime after i was appointed told me about it. So not quite tribunal material, but you get the picture - especially if you throw in the fact that they've never appointed a woman to this role, in its entire history, which stretches back a good 100+ years!

Depends on what job it is. 10 Weeks doesn't seem unfair - if it really is a large high profile job. The reason he would have had a 4 month notice period presumably is that they thought it might take them up to 4 months to sort out a replacement.

In your position I'd ask your boss for a yes / no decision asap. Just tell him you've got a shit load of extra work on and it'd be really nice if you knew where you stood in terms of pay.

Other than that there is not really a lot you can do. You can't force them to hire someone else or give you the promotion. They may be even seeing if a single person can do the role of two people.

It could be argued that telling them would increase your chances of being able to claim should you want to. if you don't tell them then all they'll say in a tribunal is "she didn't tell us we didn't know we just though she was getting fat".

Personally I wouldn't "hide" it from them any longer. If you get the promotion and then a week later say "oh by the way I'm pregnant". That really isn't going to re-inforce the message that women should be given more senior jobs in the company.

Now I expect hoardes of people to tell me I'm wrong and its "your right" to have maternity leave and it is. They also can't discriminate against you because your pregnant but in reality people have long memories and it'll only bite you in the longer term if you hide it from them. Especially if your in the kind of company where you think you will be discriminated from.

seeyou i've wrestled with all this and agree with your view to some extent. i wish i trusted them more - it's not fun hiding my condition.
but it's a catch22 really - if i tell them i'm certain i won't get the job; if they do give me the job before i tell them, of course they'll hate me for it and it will reinforce all their prejudices.
what i was hoping to do was apply and get, or not get, the job on merit, without anyone having to take my pregnancy into account. surely that's how it should be...
i should have added that any potential new recruit to the position is also likely to have a three or four month notice period to serve themselves before they can join our company- so it is almost certain i'll be doing this job single handed for another few months whatever happens.

In your position, I think my first step would be a proper conversation with your boss. Point out the extra workload and ask to know the position in terms of the new appointment - are they actively recruiting elsewhere in which case what's the timescale, or is he prepared to appoint you quickly in which case what plan does he have for recruiting your replacement and can you get onto that at all. If he wants to wait, then I think you could reasonably ask what sort of arrangement he feels would be appropriate to recognise the additional burden on you for x months - eg a company paid w/e away for your family at the end of it or something. At that point, I think you could guage whether you inform him of your pregnancy - ie whether the decision is being made without any reference to it as you want - or whether you need to approach HR and explain your concerns. I wouldn't go to them without at least giving him the chance to state his position clearly.

Good luck.

Hi just some observations. Hr departments are there primarily to protect the company by ensuring it complies with legislation. If it were me I would seek independent advice and take it to the hr people as your concerns about how you are, and could be in future, being discriminated against.

thanks for all the advice. i'm very uncomfortable with the whole situation and appreciate your take on it.