Being self-indulgent, but feeling really miserable today about work

[MarionCole]

I had a successful career pre-DS which I gave up because the travelling/hours were impractical with a child. In reality I didn't find it that fulfilling any more, so I didn't really begrudge giving it up.

Then I took a sideways/downwards step into a new job, working 4 days but earning about 1/3 of what I earned before. I have no respect for the person I work for, I am completely unfulfilled and don't even have the money I had before to make up for it. One of my dad's friends asked me last week if I was planning on getting a 'proper' job again.

I am so miserable because I don't know what to do. I have almost 30 years left until retirement and I can't carry on like this. I've pulled a sickie today because I couldn't face going in. I'm tempted to do it again tomorrow. I can't believe it has come to this, I'm a 38 year old professional FFS.

A big part of me wants to go in tomorrow and hand in my notice and then work out my next move, but that's just a ridiculous idea. We could manage without me working, just, but DH's job isn't 100% secure so it would be a risky move.

I also have no idea of what I would rather do. Apart from having a rewarding job that meant I could do the school run when DS starts next year.

Sorry for being so self-indulgent. I know other people have far bigger problems.

It's not self indulgent to miss your successful career. However, I agree that you need to plan where you go next. I wouldn't just chuck in working completely if your DH's job isn't totally secure as that could spell disaster.

Being totally honest, I think if you are insistent that you must do all school drop offs and pick ups then you are limiting your options enormously. Why not look for childcare for at least some of the week so your options are broader? (I presume you already use childcare as you say you work 4 days a week and your ds isn't in school yet?) IME the school run is over rated. You may want to do it sometimes, but day in day out could quickly lead to boredom.

I dropped to P/T when my children were pre-school, but returned to F/T when the youngest started school, so I have done very few school runs in my life time - I did nursery or childminder runs! - and I honestly don't feel I missed out at all, and more importantly, neither did my children.

You have taken a backwards step career wise, and now may be the perfect time to step up again. As you say you have 30 years ahead til retirement age - no one deserves to spend that feeling bored and undervalued.

My 1st day back after 6 years career break. I spent the day filing............

It's odd violet. DS is currently at nursery from 8am to 5pm, yet for some reason I have it in my head that I want to do the school run. There is no logic to it really. Why do I think he will need me more when he's at school? I think you're right that I'm getting too hung up about it.

I wish I had a vocation and knew what I wanted to do. I have been toying with going into teaching, have asked the local comp if I can shadow a teacher but have heard nothing yet. I could do the same as I'm doing now but self-employed, this would be the simplest option but I'm worried that I still won't find it rewarding and will therefore fail. I love cooking but it's tough to make a career out of that. I love crafts but ditto. I'm happy to retrain but I have no idea what I would do. I need a careers adviser!

I can be your careers adviser! Combine your love of cooking and teaching. I have licensed out my kids cooking group, great fun and once you get established a good wage! Let me know if you'd like more info.

Can you not go back to your old career or would that feel like a bad move?

I agree that the school run can be overrated day in day out.

I do it now for both my older children and am likely to do most of it still until my youngest is at school (another 4 years!) as I am returning part time.

But sometimes I dread it as it can get tedious like anything repetitive. And my DD1 has asked me if she can go to after school club with her friends!!! Charming ;o)

With regards to finding a new career, Business Link run some good courses on setting up a new business, you might find those helpful if that's what you are thinking. Good luck!

Could you possibly work from home?

I do Usborne (Click Here) but even if you don't fancy that, there must be something flexable you could do?

What do you like to do?