Can this woman win an award for THE most annoying colleague .....

[sandyballs]

........ I'm sitting here trying to concentrate on a document that my boss needs by the end of today, which I don't fully understand, hence the need to concentrate, and I'm getting constant bloody interruptions from this weird woman who sits a few feet from my desk.

We are in a huge open plan office and this woman's section recently moved next to mine - we have nothing to do with each other's work but she still insists on telling me every effing detail of her working day, complete with clutching her sides before telling me yet another "really funny" moment with her boss. I've tried ignoring her, I've tried telling her I'm busy, she obviously cannot read anyones body language ..... my eyes are glazing over as she speaks and I've turned away to type this but she is still going on and on and on, incessantly. It's like something out of "The Office". It would be funny if it wasn't so bloody annoying .

I feel like a spring coiling up that is about to burst free and I'm frightened what I might say to her

Rant over, that's helped.

god sorry I'll shut up!

Hee Hee. It can't be you Ninah, she's still here talking . She hasn't paused for breath, yet alone had time to type

What about a trip to the toilet, just to let her shut up for a while, maybe you can even read the doccument over there, very private place

Message withdrawn

she can't be as bad as mine - she's part of my team so our work is highly relevant to each other. therefore I wouldn't have any objection to the questions she asks and the things she wants to discuss. What I do object to is that it takes at least 3 times as long as necessary because she intersperses every sentence with "am I talking rubbish?" "do you want me to shut up?" "am I disturbing you" and even (get this one) "why are you looking at me like that?". drives me BANANAS. she's on a training course today.

Keep asking her to make you cups of herbal tea.
It will either get rid of her regularly and you will feel less stressed on the tea OR it will p*ss her off and she'll stop bothering you!

you could always put her stapler in some jelly

She's moved away from my desk now, atlong bloody last, because a big box of stationery has arrived for her. BUT ....... she is unpacking it and talking about every single sodding item as she does so.

I'm going to have to go to the sick bay and lie down.

I'M NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR EFFING PAPER CLIPS OR YOUR HANGING FILES. GET A LIFE.

pmsl hatstand - or her paperclips in the jelly!

Sandyballs

Get some earplugs. Seriously. I work in an open plan office and they are my equivalent of 'shut door' policy.

When they are in people assume I am concentrating hard on something and if they have to repeat what they are saying two or three times then then it makes them think twice before saying it.

And because the earplugs block out everyone's attempts at conversation, it doesn't feel like a deliberately targetted action against your annoying neighbour (even though it is!).

Only downside is you don't hear your boss sneaking up behind you to patrol your PC usage

send another package tomorrow with a gag and a big banner saying SHUT UPPPPP!
if you're sure it's not me, that is,

Tell her to shut the &&&& up. That'll work.

Used to work with someone who wittered onandonandonandon and infinitum about completely mad stuff. I used to have a picture of an angry looking person with a large axe behind them which I would hold up to my collegue on the desk next to me whenever it got too much. Then we'd giggle like children.

She would give us every last detail about things like waiting in for the gas man (yes, really - the story went on for about half na hour!) Her holiday photos were superb - she used to pose for self timed photos of herself (single woman, approaching 50). My favourite was her in a bikini with a basket of fruit on her head. Priceless.