Stuck at what to do!

[peachybums]

Sorry for the long story but here goes...

Last year i planned to go back out to work after 3 years of working from home as a childminder as DP buisness wasnt doing so well. As i was looking for a new job i found out i was pregnant with DD2, i already had DS who was 7 at the time and DD1 then 2. I thought it maybe best to wait until i had the baby before looking for work.

After DD2 was born i was no longer able to chilmind due to ofsted rules on how many children i could take under 5 so i stopped working and looked after DCs while DP tried to get his business on track. Now DPs business is almost dead and we are struggling for money.

Dp cannot go out to work due to medical reasons but is not willing to claim disability so i think my only option is to go back to work and leave 3 DCs with DP. Childcare doesnt pay enough to support us all so i dont know what to do, my only option seems to be to retrain.

I cant afford childcare for the children even though DS is at school and DD1 starts school next week so DP will have to stop work totally. I just dont know what to do Do i risk retraining? Or do we carry on and hope for the best?

If DP can't work outside the home because of medical reasons then surely he ought to think this one through. Will he never be able to work?

Will he be able to look after DCs - take them to school etc if you worked?

Do you have something in mind when you talk about retraining? Or do you need to get a job quickly to bring in an income?

He wont be able to do any labour jobs as he has a metal rod down his spine due to spinal surgery when he was 17 therefore he cannot bend his back, so lifting pushing and pulling is out of the question. He also gets a lot of pain when sitting for a while so an office job wont be suitable either if he needs to sit at a desk. He also had a collapsed lung just over a year ago due to his physical make up (he has severe scoliosis) so hes not allowed to do anything that will strain that for at least 2-3 years! His condition will only get worse with age. He can look after the kids ok and take them to school etc if i went out to work (if i tell him how to work stuff ) he has a car so doing bits of shopping would be ok as long as i did a big shop for him so he doesnt have to lift anything.

Im willing to do anything at the moment but i cant really take too long about it, id be ok to retrain for a year maybe and live off savings and what we have coming in in the meantime but the job i retrain to do would need to bring in enough money to support us all if DP is home looking after the kids. I think the only thing i could do is some kind of labour job myself as most jobs aimed at 'women' dont seem to pay that well lol, but like i say im not bothered about that.

Regarding your DH, if he has been running a business and would be capable of looking after the children and doing some things in the home then I think he would be capable of doing some work. Why doesn't he make an appointment to see the Disability Employment Advisor at the Jobcentre and get some advice? There is specialist assessment and training available as well as help to take up work e.g. special equipment and support.

Regarding you, apart from childminding what kinds of qualifications, skills and experience do you have? Also, what type of area do you live in?

hi what kind of business was ur dp running at home?

If you are earning under a certain amount and get tax credits etc i think you get some help with child care exactly what I am not too sure on.

I am kind of in the same predicament to a point I am a single parent and my youngest starts school tomorrow!! and I want to be out working and feel that i should be either that or re training and i dunno what to do i hve no one to look after the kids so it has to be around school hrs or i will hve to earn enough to pay child care but on top of that i really don't know what direction to take I am going to book an appointment with an advisor at my local job centre see what they say maybe you could do the same.

good luck whatever you decide! x

DP was, and technically is still running a business but his health is getting worse. Like i say he doesnt want to be claiming disability, we have talked about it but hes determined to find something he can do but is just at a loss as to what now hes getting more ill. I hostly dont mind going back to work to support us all. Me going back to work has a lot to do with that i dont want to stay at home anymore i just feel ive been at home a while and il go mad if i dont go out to work soon lol.

Yes we get tax credits at the moment and we may get some help with childcare but it all depends on how much im earning and with 3 children to pay for its still going to be a lot well have to pay. I am going to see someone to get some advice as im unsure of what to do still.

I have 4 A Levels in english, maths, biology and social studies, a diploma and NVQ Level 3 both in childcare. I also have experience in working with children in the care system and children with disablities but no formal qualifications in this area. I dont want to work with children anymore and just fancy a change.

So confusing lol