I dont want to go back to my old job because of my manager

[vickitiredmum]

I need some advice on this quite soon - im due back at work after maternity leave in oct but im actually dreading it.
My line manager imo is a chauvenist. I hav been with the same company for 10 years now and in the first 7 years i was promoted 3 times (not bad going for admin positions in this particular company). I have always had a totally unblemished work record and received pretty good (for the company norm) pay rises. I had my DD in April 03 and when it came to returning to work in the October i requested to work flexibly. Thats when the trouble started.....I followd the procedures and suggested 4 possible options for my return ie work from home & office 50/50, part time with job share etc. He chose secret option no 5 which was for me to work part time - no job share, home work etc. (Told me that "the company doesnt do working from home" but he does regularly - we both work off of laptops). My workload wasnt reduce and suddenly come Xmas i had an appraisal for the first time ever. He couldnt say anything bad except that i couldnt keep up with the work. Then when my DD was ill once i took unpaid leave and he tried to get me to take it as holiday because "the problem with you taking it as unpaid means you still have annual leave to take and you have enough time off as it is now you are part time". He eventually gave a small aspect of my job (nothing near as much as it shouldve been) to a colleague (to stop her leaving so to justify giving her more money). He regularly told me that "you cant return to your job full time now - you would have to take x (lower grade) position instead". He told a colleague that it would be a shame if she had kids now because she was doing so well. At my last appraisal again when i had to list difficulties faults etc i left it blank and he made me put in "difficulties completing workload due to numbr of hours worked" even though i stated to him that it was in fact his difficulty and not mine. When i went off on materntity leave i got no reply to my birth announcement message (got flowers from DPs company). I have heard nothing from him and 19 weeks have passed. (Dont want flowers etc but he is a representative of the company and i had colleagues ringing me up asking me if id had DS yet because he hadnt announced it). I complained in confidence to his line manager regarding his non response to birth announcement and he apologised unreservedly. I thought it would make me feel better but it doesnt. The hourly rate in this job is good for an admin role so i dont want to leave. The only reason i dont want to go back is him. What can i do?????? Sorry for such a long waffling story but im getting so stressed about this now.

Sorry - on maternity leave with DS now and it was MD who apologised and not my manager. Also my last two payrises (since DD was born) are the worst i have ever had and are lower than some peoples who i know to have underperformed. (Without meaning to blow my own trumpet - i outperformed everyone in the same role as me in the country in a nationwide incentive and won it so its not like he doesnt know!)

i would ask for a copy of the flexible working policy.

i would ask for a copy of the grievence proceedure.

i would cc my manager in on this
i would make noises about joining a union and union representation.

Thanks custardo - i can get copies of those off of our intranet site so asking to be sent them would be taken as stirring IYSWIM. My line manager can be quite confrontational about this kind of thing. When i told him that i had been receiving complaints about I dont know if im being paranoid about it or not and whether there really is anything i can do about it or if its just a personality clash so to spk.

The last post should read (got distracted by LO) - Thanks custardo - i can get copies of those off of our intranet site so asking to be sent them would be taken as stirring IYSWIM. My line manager can be quite confrontational about this kind of thing. When i told him that i had been receiving complaints about the person who took over part of my role he got really aggressive about it (im not one to tell tales but without explaining my role in great detail i have to keep him updated on staff issues). I dont know if im being paranoid about it or not and whether there really is anything i can do about it or if its just a personality clash so to spk.

Can you transfer to a different dept?

To be honest, unless you fancy the stress of a battle, start looking for another job.

If this bloke is difficult now, imagine how much worse he is gonna be when you start complaining to his boss about him.

no - its not that kind of set up and he would probably put a blocker on a move to another branch/area. If i did they would probably try and enforce a drop in salalry. It sounds daft, but i dont see why i should have to leave because he is upset that i have "got one over on him" by requesting to work flexibly and him being unable to reasonably say no and then when i got pregnant with DS....just tipped him over i think. (Im pretty sure thats how he sees it). I dont want to complain unless i can have some kind of knowledge that i have a basis for complaint IYSWIM. The apology from the MD came about because of a generic staff questionnaire that was posted out to all staff 2 weeks ago. He put his email address to contact him personally should i have any further comments. So i decided to contact him confidentially to convey my disappointment. He said he would put a "reminder" out to senior managers (of which my line manager is one) to "recognise personal landmarks" in future.

bumping this - its not the worlds worst dilemma but i really need some advice/opinions on this

bump

bump - please read this thread!

Don't mean to sound negative, but IME once someone has put in a grievance at work, the best thing is to start looking for an alternative role.

If you really can't work with your LM - and I can see why your p*ssed off - then either he or you have to go, particularly if you are in a target-led environment.

Personally I wouldn't be too stressed about the birth announcement/flowers issue, particularly if he has apologised. From what you have said, it seems that the problem is more that he is obviously not prepared to give a fair go to your working part time. Realistically that is unlikely to change. Some managers are like that - they just can't see that flexible working is anything but an "easy life" for the person doing it and a headache for them.

If you decide to stay, I would personally steer clear of formal grievances.

If you decide to leave (and preferably after you have found another job) you can start making noises about unions/tribunals, etc.

thanks loc - the announcement issue was upsetting i think because it was like a confirmation to me of the doubts/worries i was having. Im his PA so to ignore me and "forget" seems a little unlikely.

Ah - hadn't realised you were his PA. That's really difficult. Saw what you said about moving to another brance/area, but sounds to me like that would be worth exploring. Could you give a plausible excuse for why you want to move so that you can gauge his response before applying for a transfer, etc.

Presumably the salary decision in a new position would not be his?

He is responsible for all our london branches so he would have to agree it. It would kind of be a demotion to work in one of these branches but i dont mind the job title tbh. our head office is in sussex and thats just too far.

Sorry - can't think of anything more constructive.

Lots of sympathy, though.

Neither could I! Thanks anyway Loc.

Could you perhaps speak to someone in HR, or your MD if he is a reasonable chap informally about your concerns? I would be tempted to put emphasis on wanting to work flexibly and ensuring that on your return, your work load is adjusted accordingly with the hours that you do, rather than stating at this point that your manager seems to have a problem with you. It seems a shame for you to leave over his insecurities. He sounds like a real bully getting you to write things you don't want to. Don't do it. You are legally entitled I do believe to take unpaid time off for dependants.

it hink in out grievence proceedure if its with another member of staff you are asked to resolve this informally int he first instance. however if its with a manager i think you would be justified going to HR and asking advice.

read through your flixi working policy and make sure that your manager is indeed abiding by company policy by not offreing you this.

where i work the hr dept has just made a big thing about introducing flexi working, part time, even 3 months off unpaid leave if you have a family emergency. - you have to "apply" fro this by filling in a form.

do you have to do this? when its in writing the subject becomes more formal and cannot be pushed under the carpet.

also you can always play " my brains mushed i've had a baby" card. ring HR as i am presuming you do not have access to the policies as you havent started work yet.

have an informal light hearted chat and ask what options you have.

ask them if they could e - mail it to your private account so you can read through it. the likley hood is the mail will read

dearxxxxx,
as per our conversation today please find enclosed a copy of our flexi policy. as we discussed you are eligable for xxx working practices.

or something similar - that way you have it in writing.

join a union. i think you have to be a member for 3 months and then you can ring them up and ask advice over the phone.

if you work for a big company the very LAST thing they want is to be taken to court for discrimination becuae you have a child.

hijack, custy i start my new job on saturday

VTM - Sorry to be negative about this but I used to work in HR (til I gave up to be SAHM 4 months ago because I didn't get on with my boss!)I was also a harassment support officer, part of my job was to mediate in situations like these. IME they very rarely get sorted out other than by one party or other getting another job.

It sounds like your boss might be happy for you to move and may be more supportive than you think about a transfer.

I'd echo previous advice to talk to HR, they may be able to put some informal pressure on him to facilitate a move for you.

oh great fio2 please please cat me and tell me how it goes - good luck!!!

Thanks Firefox, DL and Custardo. We dont have an HR department (amazing i know for a huge multinational company). Managers and their secretaries/pa's are relied upon to adhere/deal with/update on any personnel/employment law related issues. Our current grievance procedure (I believe) is to write to your line manager in the first instance - my line manager is the grievance.

Just to clarify - ive already had my request to work flexibly "accepted" 2 years ago - its since then that he has been causing me a nightmare and when he accepted the flexible working thing he didnt actually split my workload - it has remained pretty much the same apart from one aspect of my job that he transferred over to someone about 6 months into the flexible working. I work 17.5 hours less a week and am expected to meet the same deadlines etc as before. When i was pg just b4 this maternity leave he kept asking me "if you could work in X office but the job was of lower standing, would you consider it?". He doesnt want a part time secretary and he has been making it very clear. I might approach our MD but i think you are right - this will culminate in my departing the company in the end (v v sad after 10 years good honest work). Surely this is constructive dismissal then???

i would seek legal advice - they will be breakin the law. its worth investigating

Not sure about constructive dismissal, that is notoriously hard to prove. Also relies on the employer breaching your contract and you being so unable to comply with the breach that you immediately resign. Remaining in post means you accept the breach and cannot claim constructive dismissal.

You may have something in the sex discrimination area though.

What I would do is front up to your boss, be honest about where the problems are and ask what he is prepared to do about your workload. Even better if you can come up with a plan yourself about how to manage your workload, ie what can you realistically do in your hours, what tasks would you like to be reallocated to other people, would a job share work etc etc. Keep a record of the discussion.

Best case scenario: you come up with a workable solution that you can both live with.

Worst case scenario: he won't accept your suggestions but you have a record of your reasonableness and flexibility. This will help your case if it gets that far.

Medium case scenario: you can say 'cards on table, this isn't working, will you help me get a transfer so you can get a full timer back in post?'

If he won't go along with your suggestions you probably need to get some specialist advice.

Have to go now as dd has just woken up.

Hope it works out for you.

Medium case scenario might be worth a try - i might ring him up on pretext of confirming when i have to write to confirm DS's birth date etc and see what he says - do you think that is too an informal discussion though?

Viki - yes it is unfair and you should not have to leave, I'm just pointing out that a battle will be very stressful, and as others have pointed out, will probably end up in you leaving anyway - is that what you want?