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Original poster

Would a 3rd child be career suicide?

10 replies

PYT · 28/08/2010 20:57

I'm 33 yrs old and had a successful career in the media for 10 yrs, but I got quite sick of the long hours and inanity of it all and, since having my youngest child (kids are now 5 and almost 2) I decided to retrain to work with young people (being deliberately vague about field, as don't want to out myself!).

I finish my masters degree at the end of the year (finally) and have done a fair bit of related voluntary work along the way. All well and good. Time to look for a job in 2011....

Except I think I would quite like one more child! Is this absolute madness? Would I be committing career suicide to have retrained and then to take another career break of potentially 1-2 years to have another baby? Feeling confused. Any words of wisdom?

OP posts:
DinahRod · 28/08/2010 21:04

It may well be in the short term, especially in the current climate and if jobs in your field are hard to come by. And are you lookng for f/t or p/t work - in certain fields p/t is hard to come by.

How feasible is it that you get a job and within 6m ttc, as that way you will also qualify for mat leave?

Original poster
PYT · 28/08/2010 21:09

Jobs in my field havent traditionally been hard to come by, but they are definitely drying up. In an ideal world I would want to work part time or flexibly, but I realise that may not be possible.

There are more and more part time and contract jobs in my field (as organisations try to cut costs and make full time staff redundant) but they are lowly paid and I am probably slightly overqualified for a lot of them.

I wouldnt feel comfortable about getting a full time job and getting pregnant within the first year...but I suppose it's an option in this cut throat climate!

OP posts:
pompncircumstance · 28/08/2010 21:15

Its a tough decision. I am sort of thinking along the same lines. I only have one so far who is 10 months and I am 30, but having tried a few times recently to find jobs in my field and for the hours I want seems impossible. Sometimes I think I just want to get back to work and throw everything into it and at other times I want to hae another asap and get it out of the way!

basildonbond · 28/08/2010 22:36

was for me ... don't get me wrong, I love her to bits and wouldn't ever want to be without her, but was managing ok-ish with 2 - took career break to have no. 3 and have never really got back - now working v part-time and desperately trying to get more work

amistillsexy · 28/08/2010 22:50

I was the same as Basildon Bond. It all proved too much for me after baby no. 3(very highprofile job where you had to always look as if you'd had enough sleep/a bath, and not got sick down you).
Also, one thing I'd not really considered was what happens when they're ill! With 3, the potential for never actually being free of a sickly child is huge, and I was always having to take them in then wait for the inevitable phone call to collect them (me: Throwing up? Really? How strange, no, no sign of anything at home....What have you been feeding him?)
Ironically, I've been at home for a year now, and they've not one of them been ill enough for a day off in the whole year. Confused
Sorry PYT, prob not much help, but it's really hard with 3! (and childcare is soooo expensive and hard to find someone to take them all. Oh! and all the 'family tickets' for days out are for 2+2. And the child seats won't all fit across the back seat of a 'normal' car so you have to drive a bloody bus. AND you can't take them all together to anything that needs close supervision like swimming or Diggerland because there are too many kids/not enough grown-ups...)...And B R E A T H...
Sorry to hijack, PYT, it's been a long, hard summer Blush

NatalieC · 01/09/2010 15:02

Hi PYT

I hate to say it and I love my DS to bits but 3rd baby for me is career suicide but mainly due to childcare costs and finding childcare. I have been made redundant since being on ML but have worked out that we will be worse off financially with me working.

But I love having 3 children and feel complete as a family and wouldn't change it for the world. I am now looking at becoming self-employed - just need to find something where I will actually make money. And I am going to enjoy being a SAHM mum for the first time.

Good luck with your decision.

Saira123 · 03/09/2010 14:35

3 does sound like a nice number not too many and not to less. But career wise i do sense you will be pushing yourself into a corner. It just depends how much you love working as appose to being a stay at home mum.

You have spent time and energy studying etc why not use it now work wise and get the reward for it.

I would personally say concentrate on your career now get a flavour of work life for at least a year or so. By then your youngest will be a pre school and you can have another baby before 35 or be pregnant at 35.

take care x

Saira123 · 03/09/2010 14:38

ps. otherwise you might regret even studying your masters and retraining, putting all the time into voluntray work if in the end you were just going to be a stay at home mum.

mollycuddles · 03/09/2010 14:46

I've recently had my third at 38 after a break during which I have become established work wise. Not sure how popular I'll be if I have number 4 in a couple of years but the older two are at school and by then will be pretty independent (they're 12 and 9 at the moment so have only got to factor childcare for 1 most of the time). I would definitely recommend a few years off before number three as I'm loving the baby stage now. A win/win for me

emy72 · 03/09/2010 16:38

You are still young and have time to do either imo. It depends what age gaps you want between the children too.

I have 4 children and a career so it is doable, it just needs to work for you. I like small age gaps for loads of reasons so I would go for the child first and then get the career off the ground, but that's a very personal decision!

Good luck and let us know what you decide!!!

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