Don't know what to do.

[Bebopbetty]

I had ds in January this year. Had ecs after 22 hours of labour which just didn't progress plus meconium in water. Was pumped full of epidural which they kept topping up as I had a terrible pain in my right side which turned out to be a kidney infection. Had spinal block for procedure.

8 months on I still have reduced sensation from the waist down. I wake up every morning with severe pins and needles in both legs and it takes me about 30 minutes to be able to walk properly enough to go downstairs carrying ds safely. For the rest of the day, I am inconsiderable pain with stiffness in my knees and ankles. I cannot sit for long periods as the pins and needles returns. Am awaiting an MRI to see what is going on. The thing is, I am due to return to work in september and I really don't think I can. They agreed initially for me to go back four days a week. I am a community worker for a local authority which involves a lot of walking around and general travelling. They have said that they will give me a different role which involves less travelling but I don't think it will make any difference.

Dh said that we can just about afford for me not to go back if we really tighten our belts but we cannot afford to pay back the maternity pay. I checked my contract and it states that if I resign i have to pay the back the money in full immediately.

I want to the right thing and resign, don't want to go off sick really as this does not look good for future employment. Just don't know how to get round this maternity pay issue.

I think you should talk to your employer and explain your predicament.
If they would prefer you to resign they can waive the maternity clawback provision. If not, you can go off sick. You never know, they might get this sorted after your MRI and then you would still have a job to go to.

Thanks haliborange. Gp reckons it could be permanent nerve damage as I was given so much epidural. MRI is just to rule out anything else. I will speak to my employer, I guess if I am up front about it then they might be sympathetic and waive the mat pay or at least let me pay it back in installments.

Does the maternity pay have to be paid back if you don't go back for any reason? It's worth double checking. Even though many policies say you have to pay back if you resign, lots also say that if you are dismissed in connection with 'good' reasons (long term ill health, redundancy, etc) and not 'bad' ones (misconduct, poor performance), you don't have to.

If that's the case, your employer can probably quite easily co-operate with you to avoid the pay back applying.

Also, I presume in public sector you get at least some sick pay. How long do you need to go 'back' for not to repay maternity? I suspect that your employer would far rather you resigned and didn't pay back the maternity pay than, say, took three months full pay on sick leave and then resigned and didn't pay back (although do remember, even with your desire to do the right thing, that you need to do the best for your family and yourself. Do you want to resign? Do you want to wait longer? Bluntly, do you need the money too much to do the 'right' thing morally)

Do make sure you are seeing a decent specialist. GP's opinions are all well and good but the spine and nerves are pretty flipping complicated.

What Leningrad says is right. People go off sick: employers have policies and cover in place to deal with this. So I don't think resignation is necessarily the morally correct thing to do. But if you think you might prefer to resign, speak to your employer first and negotiate the least costly exit possible.

As for periods of sickness affecting your prospects, how would a future employer find out? References these days are often little more than confirmation of employment and job title and if you complete a health questionnaire it should not affect any offer you receive. You're sick, you need time off. Don't feel bad about taking it.

Can you not request to take your full year of maternity leave and review your situation in December? You may well have started treatment then.

You can also take parental leave and sick leave may even be appropriate.

Then you're not resigning so don't have anything to pay.

I think it's a bit strong to exect not to have to pay back the maternity pay if you are quitting at the end of it.

However, the suggestions of looking at sick leave for when you are due to return is right, as you sound like you are not well enough to work.

You should look into whether you are eligible for Disability living allowance (which is a non means tested benefit for those with physical/mental health issues) - as you have such reduced mobility.

off point a little but is this a "normal" outcome for what you had done (I have no idea if it is) or is this something you should be looking at investigating further. If you are never going to be able to work properly again maybe you should be looking at some legal advice on this.

Don't think you should resign, if you are not fit to work you should go sick. May be worth speaking to a medical negligance lawyer as you are still having symptoms this length of time post birth, presumably if you were not able to return to your normal occupation this would be taken into acoount for any settlement, but if you resigned you may not be considered to have a normal occupation.

Hope you feel a lot better soon as obviously regaining your health would be a much better outcome than going to court for compensation.

Spinal anaesthetics can mess about with the nerves in the base of the spine that control the bladder and the nerves in the legs, it's a very common side effect, my mother had a spinal in October and it's caused major problems with her bladder. Have you tried accupuncture? I have MS so my nervous system is in a mess, I also get alot of pins and needles/burning sensations and it has really helped. It may not have the same effect for you but it's worth a try.

Don't resign, as others have said you need to be signed off sick, try not to think about how it will look for further employment as you need to deal with this now.