contact outside work hours

[stainesmassif]

I couldn't bear to post this in AIBU, but suspect I may have over reacted....I work from tuesday to friday morning as an ac mgr for a large co.

my manager has slight controlling tendencies, but on the whole, she is a good boss.

this week we have two visits out of the office that we are going on together.

this morning she texted me on my work mobile to confirm what time i'll see her at the destination train station - i texted back that i'll have to let her know once i get online as have hands full with ds and have had broadband issues this weekend

get reply stating, okay let me know as soon as you can, also make sure you have all finance material ready for meeting on wednesday.

i was really annoyed to be nagged (my perception) about something that i'm on top of outside my work hours - okay to confirm travel details, but why chase me up on actions i can't carry out until i'm back in an office?

so in a fit of temper i replied, 'ofcourse i have it covered. you do know that you don't need to chase me on this on my day off, don't you?!'

obviously i'm now regretting it. i have my one to one with her on weds, and have to spend the next two whole days with her. was i being unreasonable?

ps needed to get into work email to confirm exact time of train arrival at meeting destination.

i really over worry about stuff like this.

Honestly, Yes, I think you were BU.

You don't have to action work on your day off, but nor do people have to wait until work days to remind you. Do you think she should have waited until a working day to comment on the finance material? So she should have sent two texts/emails so as not to send one on your non-working day.

If she's generally a nag then that's a different issue. And unless she treats part timers differently, it's an issue with her management style. That's reasonable to follow up. But I think you ABU to expect a total ban on work talk on your day off.

The thing is I really don't mind picking up work stuff on days off, I have a work mobile and always keep it on in case anything arises. I'm very grateful for my flexible hours and do work outside my contacted hours. She does have a tendency to control freakery and micro management, which I'm aware of and tend to turn the other cheek to. I know I shouldn't have reacted. But I do object to being chased unnecessarily outside work hours. I guess I'll just have to speak with her about it tomorrow.

Ps she did send a second text to remind me about the finance material and I think if I were her I would have left this to email.

hmm tricky one, on balance I think yab a bit u. You left your work mobile on on your day off. As you responded to the firts message she used it as an opportunity to talk shop knowing you were contactable that way. Had you not responded immediately to the first - ie. looked up the timings as it suited you and given a factual reply at your leisure, she would n't have sent the second. Can understand why you felt put upon though, as it was your time off, and yes it could have waited for an email, but your last reply was rude ! Good luck on your trips !

Oh god, I'm going to have to eat humble pie aren't I. I hate it.

Yanbu. You're entitled not to be contacted on your day off!

Six of one and half a dozen of thr other. I dong thi k your last reply was outrageous - sometimes you need to exagerate to get yourpoint across - but OTOH by responding promptly to texts on your day off you are inviting more interaction with work.

I used to work long, odd and antisocial hours on some days of the week, normal hours the rest. I deeply resented being phoned at home in the evenings on my normal-hours days. Yes, sometimes the queries were things only I knew the answers to, but sometimes they could wait until the following day, and in any case there was nothing stopping 'him' from learninghow to do what he was asking me about.

So I got an aswerphone, left it switched on, and didn't answer work calls unless I considered the matter needed ti be dealt with that evening. What is more, I didn't answer immediately.

The calls tailed off immediately and stopped completely within a month or so. 'He' never learned how to do it himself, screwed up big-time trying to do so, blamed me and got told "leave it alone, if it needs doing call me (director) and I will decide whether you need to call PC". And guess what - they never called me.

As others have said, thing is, it was a work mobile and it was a text. If your boss was ringing you at home to remind you things, that would be one thing, but it wasn't that scenario.

Text or email are designed to be picked up at the other person's convenience. You send it when it's convenient to you, they pick up and answer when it's convenient to them. You'd already answered once, sending the message that you didn't mind doing so right then. I think that there is a distinction between having the right not to respond and the right not to be contacted. I think you have the former (in many jobs, sadly not mine), but you don't have the latter.

As others have said, thing is, it was a work mobile and it was a text. If your boss was ringing you at home to remind you things, that would be one thing, but it wasn't that scenario.

Text or email are designed to be picked up at the other person's convenience. You send it when it's convenient to you, they pick up and answer when it's convenient to them. You'd already answered once, sending the message that you didn't mind doing so right then. I think that there is a distinction between having the right not to respond and the right not to be contacted. I think you have the former (in many jobs, sadly not mine), but you don't have the latter.