Do I take this job if offered or not?

[nikki1978]

I have just had a seond interview for a really good job as an accountant for a small company based in London. I went for it as the money is VERY good and it means I will be able to move forward massively in my career in experience and training. I would be able to work one day a week from home (so could do school runs that day) and the benefits (pension, hols etc) are very good.

I am currently working 2 days a week as a bookkeeper and my two DCs are looked after my my mum one day a week and an MIL the other day.

This new job would be full time (9-5 plus 45 min commute each way), DD is starting Y1 in Sept but DS is not at school full time until next year so has one year left to go doing 3 hours a day at the school nursery.

My worries are the following:-

• How will the kids adapt to being thrown into full time childcare after having me around the majority of the time for the whole of their lives so far? My plan was to put them both in breakfast club all the days except for the day I worked from home. MIL has offered to do 2 days a week and my Mum can still do one. That leaves care left to find during termtime; for DS from 12-6.30 one day a week and 12-3.30 another day, for DD 3.00-6.30 one day a week. In the holidays DH and I could cover 6 weeks between us with our hols plus another 2 weeks for a family holiday. The other 5 weeks we would need a holiday club but the school do one that is very reasonable. I do worry that there is not enough continuity of care there though.

• I would have to travel up to Essex or East Anglia once a week to visit the sites which would mean leaving early to sit on the M25 for a long time. DH could take them to breakfast club fairly easily though.

• I want to work to earn the money and progress in my career now the kids are growing up. But I will only see them briefly in the morning, for a couple of hours in the evening and at the weekends. On the other hand I am a rubbish SAHM and would like to get out of the house more. DS will start school in a year and they will both be out of the house for 6 hours a day anyway so is it better to take this job now - this is the sort of opportunity that doesn't come around very often as these sorts of jobs usually go to qualified accountants.

• Is it worth it? We would only be about £400 better off a month this year but then we do need that money. After both kids are at school we would be about £700 a month better off and able to get a good mortgage easily. But should I really be putting money first?

Sorry this has turned into a long post! I am just confused and they are going to let me know on Friday so I want to start to make decisions now. I just don't know what the hell to do!

Bump

I am a working mother and have been since dd was tiny, so support you in the reasons that you state. To be honest the logistics will work out themselves, it will be a juggle for a while however it will be fine.

However, one thing which would put me off HUGELY is the commute. 1.5 hours a day is a real grind. Did you commute in your old job? because if you are not used to it you may find (as I did) that commuting was the one thing which will drive you to despair.

I found it very difficult with an hour commute each way. It was horrible especially when dd was ill at school and needed picking up. Plus it does make your day longer, adds to the stress (esp. when traffic and hold ups occur), tires you out and costs a fortune. I found that I was spending £300 a month commuting 90 miles a day, so the finanical benefits of going back to work may be wiped out by the fuel costs.

If I were you i would hold back a bit and look for a job closer to home, if poss.

It sounds like you have good back ups in place with both your mum and MIL around and DH to take to school occasionally. You do need back up in the system because things do go wrong. Ideally I'm sure you would like to get the kids into full time school before you went back to work FT but as you say these opportunities don't come up often.

Is there any way you could negotiate 4 days a week (3 in the office and one at home) with view to FT in a year? That would give you a bit of time to for you all to adjust and some slack in the system until the youngest is at FT school.

Other things to take into consideration - will it really be 9-5? Or will you be expected to do more? Will breakfast club definitely take the nursery age dc? Ours will only take from reception.

Sorry if I've made you more confused!

I'd take it - children are very adaptable, and it will be increasing time within their usual enviroments, rather than starting completely new places.

A CM would be able to pick up your children, and usually do holiday care too, or they'd probably enjoy holiday club with friends

Thanks ladies, I definitely couldn't negotiate starting at 4 days as the reason they want someone is a mum was doing 3.5 days a week and it was not enough time so they decided to make it full time. On the plus side they all have kids and are child friendly in that respect.

I have looked at CMs but I think the cost would be too high - am in Croydon at the costs here seem to be phenomonal! Will the half fees for hols and stuff I think it would be too expensive for us. If I can find one who will do a few hours a week without charging me loads on top for the hours my kids aren't there then I will do it.

You might be right about the breakfast club though.... will have to check. It does say 3-11 on the leaflet for the people who run it but maybe that is just for the holiday club.

I don't actually think the commute is that bad. I can drop off at breakfast club at 7.45 and have plenty of time to get to work. They have told me that it is a 9-5 position and no need to work late so I can be back to pick them up by 6.

I probably won't even get it after all this soul searching!

well its good to be prepared and no doubt you will be looking for something else if you don't get it and will have had a chance to think all the pros and cons through already! Good luck.

I can tell by your post that you want it
I really hope you get it
it's often not until you apply for something that you realise how much you want it
you're lucky to have your mum mil and dh helping

You know compo it does sound like I want it. Last night I was saying to DH my gut says don't take it. But that may be because the second interview was yesterday and I didn't feel it went as well as the first. Plus I am wobbling on how it will affect the kids. But today when I got an email from the agency saying they are still very interested and feel I could grow with the company and position I feel like Ido want it again.

Arrggghhh! I think it is the childcare thing stressing me out the most as childminders look too expensive as I would be using part time places. Plus it worries me that my mum has been used to me being able to move my working days around to suit. She doesn't ask me too often but my parents own a hotel and if there is a problem and she can't get away what do I do for childcare then?

I have tried getting in contact with childminders but they all seem to be on holiday!

You could try your local children's centre and see if they have any suggestions re childcare. Some have their own nurseries and some have links with childminders.

Re: your mum that's what I meant about back ups. But could your DH/MIL fill in if your mum has a problem?

From your posts you want to go for it I think .

The breakfast and after school club at our school is for children from 3 to 11 so it could well be that it is the same for you.

How far away does your DH work? Would he be able to get back quickly if necessary?

I think your children would adapt fine - they are more adaptable than adults I think.

nikki, I am in sort of the same situation, I have been a SAHM since DD1 was born and this september I am going back to university for a full time course.
DD1 is in school full time and DD2 will be going to nursery 8am until 4 or 5 for at least 1 year. I am not hugely happy about it, and we will actually be worse off for a year until I finish, but then fingers crossed I will double the money coming into the house so it will work out in the long run.
I tell myself dd2 is nearly 3, she has had me at home for a long time and she loves playscheme/nursery when she has gone for 2 hours a week without so I shouldn't feel guilty about 'putting myself first' when it isn't actually harming the children in anyway.
I will be home to get them up in the morning and do tea/put them to bed and eveyr weekend.

I really want to do the course, I have been waiting until they are old enough so that childcare costs won't completely cripple me AND I don't even have family around to help out! (have very good friends I can call on though)

Good luck!

I would go for it. Your DC will both soon be in school. When thinking about the cost of childcare, don't forget that it is not just your salary that you get paid - there is pension, NI and so on too.