DH work taking the mick

[emsiewill]

Just wanted to have a moan about the way dh is being treated by his company at the moment.
Due to the fact that "he" has had poor audit results, he has been called to Head Office to have a "pre-disciplinary" interview. Now I realise that as business manager, it comes down to him to carry the can despite the fact that he has to rely on his team to back him up in order to get the results. And I'm not complaining about that - after all, he gets paid more than them because he takes on that responsibility.
What I am annoyed about, though is the way the company has gone about it. He received a letter yesterday (23rd), telling him to come to Head Office for his interview on the 25th. There was no time for the interview given on the letter, and although I believe legally they only have to give 2 days notice, they obviously intended more, as the letter was dated 18th (a week before the interview). We live in South Wales and Head Office is in London, so it's a 5 hour round-trip, and as you all know, organising child-care in the school holidays is a delicate balancing act, which in our case relies on us not having things like this crop up at a moment's notice. As it happens, as long as the meeting is in the morning, dh would be able to make it - I need him back in the evening as I'm going out. So as soon as he got the letter he phoned his regional manager to find out what the tine of the interview is, left a message on his mobile, and heard nothing. Having still heard nothing today, he emailed the regional manager, and got an out of office reply saying that he is uncontactable on Wednesday and Thursday. So dh emailed the regional administrator who had pp'd the letter. The reply he got from the administrator was "sorry for the oversight, the meeting has been scheduled for 12-3. RM is uncontactable before tomorrow, and he cannot reschedule the meeting due to other comittments."
What a cheek! I'm fuming that they can be so disorganised and so cavalier with people's lives. Dh is very unhappy and stressed about the meeting anyway, and he is the sort of person to just let them get away with things like this (eg they reduced his number of holiday weeks, but agreed to pay him an extra week for 5 years - last year was the first year this was meant to happen, and the company "forgot" about it until August when I nagged him into doing something about it). I, however, think he should tell them that this is unacceptable and refuse to go. Obviously, it's easy for me to say, but it really bugs me that dh puts in so many hours, works really hard, does his best to make sure that any disciplinary proceedings he undertakes follow the procedures to the letter (or else he'd be in trouble), shares HIS bonus with his team, and this is the thanks he gets.
Grrrrrrrr
Anyway, it's off my chest now. If you've bothered to read this far, I'd be interested to hear if other people think he is being treated unfairly, or if I'm over-reacting (which I think is what he thinks)

emsiewill I totally agree with you it is very unfair, trouble is I have seen it so many times and usually just because someone wants to play at being bigshot. It makes me so angry. However, in your dh shoes I would probably go along with them because of course the more you make a stand (fair as it may be) the harder they will play bigshot and refuse to be reasonable. Hopefully the person/people he is going to see will be reasonable and the meeting wont be as awful as you probably fear but at least it will be out of the way, if I were in your dh shoes I would just want it over and done with but you and dh have my symphaties.... help can't spell!!!!!

understand your frustration, emsiewill, but imo the best way for your dh to handle this bump in the road is to be as co-operative as possible at this stage. at least this way hopefully he will get to put it behind him asap and you will both be under less stress. sorry, this is probably not what you wanted to hear, and i appreciate it is awkward for you. hope the interview goes very well for your dh and that is the end of the matter

understand your frustration, emsiewill, but imo the best way for your dh to handle this bump in the road is to be as co-operative as possible at this stage. at least this way hopefully he will get to put it behind him asap and you will both be under less stress. sorry, this is probably not what you wanted to hear, and i appreciate it is awkward for you. hope the interview goes very well for your dh and that is the end of the matter

oops

Emsiewill, I agree with BossyKate in that your dh probably needs to get this 'over and done with' rather than postponed. Of course the company have acted unfairly and your dh could insist on a postponement unless it makes the child-care arrangements completely impossible, he may just want to go along to the meeting as arranged but remember ADMIT NOTHING!!!

He may want to ask them what the term 'pre-disciplinary' means, it seems to imply that they have already decided to hold a disciplinary hearing at some stage and therefore pre-judged the outcome of the 'pre-disciplinary'?

The "pre-disciplinary" thing is my words - what they actually said was "this interview may lead to disciplinary action being taken". It really isn't the disciplinary side of it that I object to so much, it's the treating of people as though they belong to the company and have no other life outside it that bugs me. He knew that there would be repercussions if the audit didn't go well, so he was expecting it. Just thought it was polite to give him a bit more notice.
Unfortunately, he is as honest as the day is long, and is no good at playing the "games" that are sometimes necessary. So the "admit nothing" strategy is not one that comes easily to him. Still, the RM has told him that he's only taking this action reluctantly, and still has faith in him. But this is the same man that after dh had told him how much the audits stress him out, asked him to do a presentation to the operations director on the first day of the audit.
And as for the childcare aspect - my night out has been cancelled now anyway, so that's no longer an issue.
Thanks to all for replying.

hi emsiewill - they sound like bs to me ! is your hubby in a union ? if so he should have a union rep, or at least another person with him to take detailed notes of every single thing that is said - he is legally entitiled to do that.It doesn;t have to be another company member but he MUST have detailed notes taken by a third party. Also, he should bring up matters which in his mind are unsatisfactory, such as the non payment for 5 years of salary - and he can threaten legal action believe me. He needs to be calm and firm and put his own case. He should also eplain exactly how unprofessional and cavalier they have been in the handling of the incident, with the letters, not responding to calls/emails etc. Good luck

Grrrrrrrrrrrr! Much sympathy emsiewill. Agree with donnie - get a 3rd party in with him if he can and certainly make notes. Although it might not be at serious stage yet, it at least gives the impression that he is watching them.

Emsiewill, it must be really hard for you too to have your dh's employers behave in this manner when you know that he is so hard working and honest. BTW, was it him who insisted on spending a large chunk of his bonus on his staff in recognition of the fact that he would not have got the bonus if it hadn't been for their team effort?

All the best for tomorrow
Sis

Thanks again for your support. Yes, it was him who gave his team a share in his bonus, not sure that he would be so keen to do that again. He has been informed that he is able to have a third party present, (a fact of which he is well aware, as he has to conduct many disciplinary meetings himself, and the company are very hot on their managers following the correct procedures - well at HIS level, anyway) but at this stage, I think he doesn't feel he needs that.
The regional manager finally called him this evening at 6:30pm, and said that they could reschedule for another day if necessary, but of course by then, it was all arranged for him to go tomorrow.
Thanks again for all your good wishes, will let you know how it goes tomorrow.

emsiewill, really feel for you, just caught up on your post, hope there were no disasters yesterday. My dh sounds like yous, I posted thread a while ago, it's very frustrating when they are just basically nice people (even though that's what we love them for!). Dh left his company and they have basically ripped him off part of his severance pay, I am having to fight it for him as he thinks you have to just roll over. They have also produced the leanest reference possible but I have been ordered to "leave it alone", will sort out money with luck and then work on reference! Best of luck, thinking of you.

Just to update - the interview actually went well yesterday (only just managed to get time to catch up with dh on what went on). The RM used it as a way to help him see where he's going wrong, rather than going down a "formal" route and helped him to see how he could manage in a different way to get the results the company wants. No further action will be taken, but it was pointed out that the easy route for the RM would have been to "demote" dh by moving him to a smaller site, and put the manager of that site in his place.
So dh is grateful to the RM for giving him another chance, and feels quite motivated and positive about it all.
I still feel annoyed about the cavalier way they treat people, but at least dh is happy.

Emsiewill, I'm glad for you and your dh that the meeting had a positive outcome but like you said - shame they were so unthinking prior to the meeting.