Would REALLY like your advice on whether to go back PT or try to work out FT. I'm going mad trying to sort it in my head.

[PeppermintPasty]

OK. I have 2 children-a 3yo who will be going to school Sept 2011, and a 3 month old. I'm having the rest of the yr off and have just had a conversation with my boss about what I do when I come back.

Just before I told him I was pregnant, I was made up to head of department in a very small law firm. He's the nicest and most decent boss I've ever worked for and I absolutely love working there. I cannot afford to take time out as I need an income(partner's job very poorly paid) and I need to keep my job anyway(rural area, good jobs rare as hen's teeth etc).

I said to him I couldn't envisage leaving my baby for 5 days straight(he ideally would like me back FT asap but believes it's my decision) but thought I might be able to do 4, with say wednesday off to be at home. This to go on until baby is about 1yo then I said I would try FT.

However, the more I think about it, the more my gut feeling is telling me I couldn't be away from her even for 4 days. (I have been doing mon weds fri since my older dc was born).

Should I just go back to that?? It's clearly not what he wants in an ideal world, and he said he'd have to get someone else in for the other 2 days. I feel like I'm being a pain for him, though he has never ever given me that impression.

Or am I being pathetic about leaving my new child? I know she's only 3m now and I'm still all hormoned-up, but I'm driving myself mad.

Any thoughts? I'm really sorry this is so long. Oh and home working not really an option.

3 days. If that's what you want and it works financially, grab the opportunity with both hand. You can always increase hours later, much harder to get them reduced.

This is difficult hmmmmmm. With my first, I could not ever imagine going back to work, never mind working full-time for a long-time, but as the months rolled-on I shifted gradually until I couldn't wait to return. I am CONVINCED it was the hormones - as I went from exclusively breast-feeding to stoping at 9 months. I definitely don't think you are being pathetic. You have a newborn and they are such tiny, vulnerable little things your instinct as a mother is to be as close to them as possible. Could you perhaps try a staged return where you start on say 3 days and after a couple of months discuss review arrangements to consider 3.5 or 4 then maybe 5 after a further period of time? I agree with create tho, much much easier to increase than decrease. Danger with latter is you'll do the work of the higher hours but only paid for the lower. Good luck with your decision.

The staged return is not great for the boss though is it? He's trying to get FT cover, either from you or a job share. Boss won't be able to recruit if you are doing a staged return to work on a suck it and see basis. What I like from my team on maternity leave is certainty - I will be back, I will be back PT - that sort of thing. I am also a lawyer and so I know none of this is legally binding. But it's very useful when you're trying to run a business to have an indication of what someone is thinking.

I do three days and have done since having my first child. I find it is just right

Enough days that you are up to date with what is going on at work and to give you a change of scene from being at home. And not so many days that you are away from them too much.

I am lucky that I always get to leave on time and don't bring work home with me, which helps.

For me, whether I worked full time, or part time, I'm still a full time mother and it's hard to squeeze in enough hours with the children with only 2 days off a week.

too work for a lovely boss in a very small firm so feel your pain in trying to find a compromise that fits both them & your family situation.

I went back 3 days a week after DS1 then increased to 4 days a week for 2 years until I went on maternity leave. Preferred 3 days but coped OK doing the 4. I was then off for 9 months & as before went back to work 3 days a week with a view to increasing to 4. Unfortunately, I found going from 3 to 4 days a week was the tipping point as it suddenly felt like I didn't ever see either of my children (long hours so don't see them on working days). Luckily my boss was understanding & realised he would either have to relax on 4 days in the office or lose me so I now do 4 days a week but I work for home either Tues or Wed to break the week and finish early to collect my eldest from school & then do a few hours in the evening.

So, in my experience I would say go for 3 wherever possible but you really won't know until you try it.
LCN

thanks all so much, it helps me get perspective. agree about giving him certainty fridayschild, and i think you're all right really-go with my gut feeling and start at 3. if it works i can always go up to 4 etc...thanks guys.