Think I may have work related stress but reluctant to tackle and have it on record

[abgirl]

Have been in my current role for 7 years, always had good performance reviews and done lots of training, external qualifications etc. Due to the nature of the work end of July is always extremely stressful but I've never had any problems managing before and quite enjoy the pressure in an odd way.

My manager is retiring in Sept and have recently been through an extremely drawn out recruitment process applying for his role. There was only one internal applicant (me) and previously the norm had been to interview internally and only go external if an internal applicant wasn't appointed, this time it was decided to advertise externally as well, so I was up against two external applicants.

I handed my application in on 17th May and only had my interview on 22nd July, and by that time had got extremely anxious about the whole process. However I did lots of preparation and felt the interview went reasonably well.

Had feedback on Friday to be told that although I was the best applicant I 'wasn't ready' and they've decided not to appoint. Was devasted and came home on Frday afternoon rather than continuing to blub over colleagues.

I haven't slept well for the last two weeks and hoped after the interview process was complete I would start getting some normal sleep again but the last two nights have been worse than ever. Also very irritable and have quite a lot of neck and shoulder pain, also some bouts of tears, though trying to limit them...

Genuinely feel that their decision was made before I got anywhere near being interviewed so why put me through it all at our busiest time of year? Also very anxious about what will now happen when my manager does retire and I will be left dealing with his role and mine...

Any advice would be very gratefully received.

Treat the decision made as a positive comment about you.......you are the best candidate but you are not quite ready. This means with extra experience you will be more than capable of doing the job. Can you action plan yourself to achieve this in the short term? How can you now prove that this job is yours?

I've been doing the job for 7 years and have not rested on my laurels, and I met every part of the job description and person spec. My colleagues were shocked that I didn't get the job, it's a large organisation and I feel like everyone will be asking what I did wrong Just feel like I am not in the right frame of mind for forming action plans yet, or getting more detailed feedback - some sleep would really help...

The other problem is that these jobs just don't come up very often and I'm not sure I want to sit languishing for years waiting for another opportunity.

If everyone is so shocked, then maybe you need to challenge this decision and ask for concrete reasons why you were not successful.

Have spent the last year managing someone with what we all thought was work related stress who was in denial about it but she refused to admit it. Her performance was suffering and it would have been better for me as her manager, and for her, in terms of how she is regarded at work, and in terms of lower stress levels and just being herself, if she had just admitted it 9 months ago.

I am so not an expert on stress. But suspecting it and pretending it's not there really can't do you any good.

Go to the doctors.