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Original poster

Can you be sacked for having an affair with a colleague?

21 replies

littlecritter · 18/07/2010 17:53

I have discovered that my partner of 14 years is having an affair with a colleague. He is now my ex. Can they be sacked if their employer finds out? I don't want to risk not getting maintenance for my ds age 9.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 18/07/2010 17:54

Depends on their contracts. In some cases, yes.

secunda · 18/07/2010 17:58

I don't think so... obviously if it was doctor/patient, teacher/pupil then yes but in the majority of cases I would say no. Does depend on contract though. Can you say what he does? Why do you need to know?

NormaStanleyFletcher · 18/07/2010 17:58

It is not a sackable offence in most circs afaik, though if he is forces they can look badly on relationships between different ranks (or so I am told). Unless there is suggestion of coercion because one is the boss of the other, then it is not the business of the business is it?

So sorry you are going through this

Original poster
littlecritter · 18/07/2010 18:02

My ex works in the offices, she works on the reception and her H is about to start there in the next few days as a security guard. It is a huge multinational confectionary company that is a major employer in this area. I can guarantee that you will know the brand.

OP posts:
Shaz10 · 18/07/2010 18:03

This is both my dream and my nightmare. (funny yet no maintenance for us!) My H has already had his line management responsibility for OW removed.
In an ideal world H would keep his job and OW would get the boot!

secunda · 18/07/2010 18:06

I would say probably not. I can't see how it would damage the company (there is often a clause about behaving in a way detrimental to the company's interests). If you fired everyone who banged a receptionist/secretary you'd have no staff. Any woman who was fired because of who she slept with would be a fool not to sue.

Original poster
littlecritter · 18/07/2010 18:09

I found out 2 weeks ago and I want to tell OW's H soon. Just to complicate matters further they are also family friends. Well, they were.

OP posts:
LIZS · 18/07/2010 18:11

If there is a risk to security, such as they worked in finance and between them to could sign off expenditure then it could be disciplinary not to declare an interest and it would not be unusual to transfer one of them an alternative position but can't imagine it would be percieved as such as you describe it.

secunda · 18/07/2010 18:12

I would say it's probably OK. But no one can say for 100% unless they've seen his contract.

Original poster
littlecritter · 18/07/2010 18:14

Think I will go for it then. I don't want to do anything to risk my position. I feel I have a moral obligation to her H as he is also a friend. Thank goodness I don't work there too!

OP posts:
LIZS · 18/07/2010 18:19

He'll find out soon enough - doubt their relationship has avoided office gossip.

MollieO · 18/07/2010 18:23

My ex was made redundant following our relationship. If it hadn't been because of his behaviour towards me he would have kept his job (found out some while later from his boss). We worked for different companies that had a lot of business together.

whatifihadneverbothered · 18/07/2010 18:37

In most cases it will be frowned upon, due to a conflict of interest.

In your case especially as the husband is due to start work there as well, I think the company whoever it is, would not be best pleased with the situation, (I would hate to be the manager who would have to sort out disciplinarys if anything "kicked off"!!!) i.e. if the husband became aware of his wife and your ex.

Northernlurker · 18/07/2010 18:44

One of my husband's colleagues was sacked for sex with a colleague....on the premises and discovered by MD and clients. Fair enough really - except they only sacked the woman and retained the bloke. So unsurprisingly she sued them for sex discrimination and won a fair bit I believe.

Original poster
littlecritter · 18/07/2010 18:51

Well, I just can't see how the three of them are going to get along as they are all part of a wider group of workfriends. Apparently, the affair is over but it started about 2 years ago. OW wants to save her marriage and XP has asked me not to tell her H. I have kicked XP out. I can't see her H agreeing to work alongside my XP or for her to continue working with him either. But I think he should know. They were planning to leave us and set up home together.

OP posts:
Original poster
littlecritter · 18/07/2010 18:53

I am absolutely certain that XP will have conducted this affair using his works mobile as he doesn't have another one. And I caught him texting her on it about 3 weeks ago. Could they use that to sack him?

OP posts:
secunda · 18/07/2010 18:55

Not sure. I wouldn't put it in their minds if you want maintenance

Original poster
littlecritter · 18/07/2010 19:07

I don't plan to let his employers know but I'm just wondering what might happen if they found out. I just want to tell OW's H and it is bound to blow up at work given the circumstances.

OP posts:
whatifihadneverbothered · 18/07/2010 19:20

Where I work, it is a sackable offence to use a works mobile for personal use unless it's extreme circumstances, e.g. if you or your child were ill, genuine emergency etc. That is written into our contracts.

Even e-mails if abused, this is a sackable offence where I work, quite rightly so imo, work for the public sector.

seeyoukay · 18/07/2010 20:44

I've a lot of experience working with banks and list x companies. If you have an affair with a colleague at these places you don't stay for long ;)

Shaz10 · 18/07/2010 20:44

I suspect that even if you don't go straight away you go to the bottom of the 'keep' list.

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